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About this blog

some of my thought's

Entries in this blog

Some thought on Grief

Hi Everyone, I have not blogged for quite awhile. John passed away 6/28/11. The melanoma he had removed 7 yrs ago Came back Full force. He was diagnosed 4/27/11.... Little did I know when we walked out the door on the 27th... would be his last time walking out of the house. My stroke took a back burner, rarely even though about it. I am a 9 yr survivor, and a very Lucky one, my deficits are mainly those you can not see. My left side can be a bit clumsy and I have a slight limp. My impairmen

bstockman

bstockman

Memories

Well 9 years as a survivor, I somettimes miss "what I used to have" but I am extremely grateful of what i do have.. I am much better off than many surviors in what I was able to regain.   I miss John so much, I can't even begin to express it here. Without his support and "pushing" I am sure I woulld not have regained this much.. "The winde beneth my wings" was one of our favorite songs. July 28th was 13 months.... It was Saturday, and I had been reading on a "grief" site about some people

bstockman

bstockman

Hi Everyone

I am not "much" of a blogger. but I want to let people/friends know what has been happening in my life.. I had been on staff here for around 6 years I think. started as a chat host. So Last year I resigned, My husband had melanoma 7 years ago. He had it removed, and the surgeon was sure he had " removed all of it" John never missed his check up's. He was a Vet, so we went to Seattle a little over 80 miles south. In November he started to have some back pain. With his job and we have 5 acres

bstockman

bstockman

August Already

Wow I can't belive August is here.. It seems like I was starting plants in the garden window such a short time ago. We are getting veggies from the garden now. and of course the weeds are growing like Weeds.. John also planted 9 blueberry bushes.. no fruit this year... but hopefully next summer. We want to put in some other berry bushes and grapes. We have quite a few apple trees, a couple pears and 2 cherry trees.   We put a flower bed in, it looks nice.. and I am happy to see so m

bstockman

bstockman

Dusting off the cob webs

Well it has been quite awhile since I have made an entry... for sometime my Blog would end up in cyber space...   This is into my 6th yr post stroke.. I almost forgot the date of it this year. I can say so far this is my best year so far. We have had a lot to go thru this past year. John's mom had lung cancer, went through chemo... and lost the fight . She passed away early March.. 4 of the 5 kids were with her as well as grandchildren, her sister and other family members. She had hosp

bstockman

bstockman

Fixed my Blog here's how I did it

I know some other members have had problems ...... after typing I would hit Post and Boing no blog I would try to copy and paste and hit Post... Poof disappeared and the error message.. you must type a post... EEERGH YIKES>>> and other various words.   I came on line yesterday and started messing around.... if you have had your blog disappear.. here is what I did.   Go to My Blog, click on Entries then on Add entry when the text box opens on t

bstockman

bstockman

Changes

Changes ~~ 5 years have gone by.   It is 5 years now since my life dramatically changed. So much has happened in that time.. Emotions , Re-Learning, Re-Evaluating .... From barely walking.. and now I have a slight limp... I still can't figure out how to run... Yes sometimes I would like to run.. ok... I know HOW old I am.. I am not talking long distance 5 K's here. I have a very active 5 yr old grandson, and playing some badminton or softball....... oh well, adjustment and the little one

bstockman

bstockman

I'm Home

Hi Everyone, I am home, after my visit to Arizona. My mother in law is doing very well, she has been tolerating the chemo much better than anyone expected. She had some tests last week, and should get the test results today. The Dr is extremely happy that she has tolerated the 3 sets of (3 each set) of chemo. He has decided to do a couple more.   The morning I left we had an inch of snow on our porch and I arrived at 7 pm to around 84*. I actually did much better than I thought with

bstockman

bstockman

Spring Where Are You?

Hmm ... Spring is hiding from the Pacific North West this year. We had some nice temps in Feb.. just a teasing I think. The tress are getting gree, the grass is growing. I saw the flowering plum trees all pink. We had a ver small amount of Snow this morning.. Yes snow. I had to brush it off the car.. the really wet heavy stuff.. Then this afternoon the sun was out, and I was outside in a sweat-shirt.   I have not smoked for 40 days.. This is a Big deal for me. (and so far I have not

bstockman

bstockman

Thirty Days

I've started a couple Blogs.. but didn't finish them.   John will be home Wed night. He has been gone 10 days. I wanted to do some Spring cleaning and get a few things done. That hasn't happened. I am trying to keep up with what I can....   The goats are fed every morning, I have had to cover at the shop for a couple "emergiencies" they were only a few hors long, I have been going to the shop to do check deposits.. get stuff for the bookkeeper.. just try to keep a sense of unity, et

bstockman

bstockman

Checking In

Hi All, I have been here every day. Keeping up with you all. I have Quit smoking.. 2 weeks now. Not One Puff. and I am NOT eating everything in sight. I really do NOT want to put on 10 or 20 lbs. I drink Cold water.. sometimes I feel like I slosh. I am using the new drug Chantix.. there support site and also a "forum" site .. not unlike ourselves here.   My mother in law is back in the hospital, her lung filled again after a week. They drained 2 liters of fluid the other day. Th

bstockman

bstockman

Good News ~ Bad News

Good News: This started out on Feb 4th We went to Seattle for John's primary care check up.. Good news, they have changed some of his medications, he had some lab work done. He is feeling better on the new meds. His melanoma check up is on the 29th of this month.   I started the new drug to quit smoking.. Chantix the first week you take 0.5mg 2 times a day for a week, you continue to smoke while it builds up in your system, by the 4 th day I was smoking less than 1/2. and I quit on Fe

bstockman

bstockman

Good News ~ Bad News

Good News: This started out on Feb 4th We went to Seattle for John's primary care check up.. Good news, they have changed some of his medications, he had some lab work done. He is feeling better on the new meds. His melanoma check up is on the 29th of this month.   I started the new drug to quit smoking.. Chantix the first week you take 0.5mg 2 times a day for a week, you continue to smoke while it builds up in your system, by the 4 th day I was smoking less than 1/2. and I quit on Fe

bstockman

bstockman

Hibernating

This last week I have been in semi-hibernation...lol. I don't mind. I had over down a bit the last few weeks.. I KNEW I was, but sometimes you just don't have the choice. You try to DO what is expected and sometimes what is "necessary".   So I did. .. I know I will get "down" time and usually find a way to push thru most of what I need to do. I do get cranky when I get tired.. and quiet. John has learned the signs..lol.   We have had some snow off n on this week, so it has been

bstockman

bstockman

Meeting another member

:bouncing_off_wall: :bouncing_off_wall: I am so excited. I had the pleasure of meeting another of our "family" I was in chat one evening and met Lyn.   She is from Surrey, British Columbia. I live in the northwest corner of Washington state. The Canadian border is only about 30 minutes from Bellingham. Lyn and I contacted each other. Made a date for her to come down. She drove down with her CG Theresa on Thursday. We met at Denny's.   We had a wonderful visit. We felt like w

bstockman

bstockman

YIKES

I have colored my hair off n on for years. I was tow head blonde when I was young, and it got darker as I got older.   A color I would describe as "MOUSE" the last few years it seems when I color, no matter if I use Ash it still brings out golden highlights and it tends to be more of a "strawberry" blonde. I have let it be mouse with gray for well over a year.   Well I don't know why, but I decided to "brighten" it up the other day.. I had color in the cabinet. I decided to leave

bstockman

bstockman

Thank You

Thanks to all who commented on my last Blog entry.   I have had some other thoughts, but they were when I was not near a computer... like driving, or sitting at Dr's office.. and of course, by the time i got home... they were gone.   Thank you all for sharing your ups and downs, for a safe place to share and have such wonderful warm friendship.   I was raised in the "era" of Ozzie & Harriet, Leave It To Beaver.   My mother was a homemaker, everything ironed, everyone looking

bstockman

bstockman

Random Thoughts

Well 2008 is here. Many of us are hoping for a better year.... more progress, financial stability. weight loss... or whatever. A New Year brining in new Hope.   I have been reading posts, Blogs. Many of us have gone thru some downs. We know we will get back up. Everyone has down days. Winter in whatever climate tends to be gray and dreary, wet and windy. Expectations of Christmas.. and picking the gift to put a smile on a Loved ones face.   Survivors ... is acceptance ever comple

bstockman

bstockman

Dr visit

Well I made a Dr appointment.. held off until after Holidays. My right (good)shoulder has been acting up, I had a little spot, that did not want to heal... and I couldn't see it being in my ear at the top by the fold. And my left hand... at the flesh part inside/unde thumb has been so sore I could hardly hold anything.   Dr walked in the room.. and said How r you doing? I said I think I am starting to fall apart....lol   So I got a cortisone injection in my right shoulder, :doctor: Th

bstockman

bstockman

Things About Me

Things About Me:   1. I like animals.. dogs are my favorite 2. I have 6 dogs 2 were rescued 3. I have one cat 4. I have 2 goats 5 I have one goose.. she is 10 yrs old 6. I have 4 ducks 7. I have one chicken (right now, want to get a few in the Spring) 8. I like living in the "country" 9. I like cooking & baking 10. I hate doing dishes. 12. I was a pharmacy technician over 20 years 13. I went back to school at age 40 14. I received my GED and Gra

bstockman

bstockman

HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS

:santasmiley: I like Ann.. needed a bit of a jump start to find the Christmas Spirit. I was derading some of the shopping...alone.   John hates shopping...unless of course it is tools or tractors. Tracy came over one day.. and we got part of it done. I went out one day and got a few things. I then informed John... there is a little more to finish.. YOU WILL GO WITH ME AND HELP ME FINISH. (LOL)   He looked and said your getting a little bossy aren't you and laughed.... I said Yep..

bstockman

bstockman

Dr's visits

I was diagnosed with osteoporosis a yr or 2 ago. It wasn't a huge surprise as it runs in my family. I was a little surprised at the leve, I always drank milk, took some Calcium, but I wasn't always good about being consistent with it.   The Dr had run a vitamin D level then, and I guess I was around 25.. which at the time was a low normal. They have changed the levels for Normal and now low normal is 32.. this yr my level is 10. which is severely deficent.   I went on the Internet and

bstockman

bstockman

Winter has Arrived

Winter is here, snow on the Ground. The last 2 years we have had snow early. Last year we were kindo of snowed in for 3 days.   I'm sure we Could Have Made it out if we really had to, but the roads were very snowy and icy and lots of accidents so we stayed inside where it was warm and cozy.   We only have a few inches now, and it is supposed to warm up later and turn to rain. The dogs are all snuggled up after their quick trips outside.   I made Turkey soup yesterday with the turke

bstockman

bstockman