This time of the year, mid winter, time seems to stand still. There is not a lot to do. A dull grey day doesn't encourage me to do much, a bit of gardening if it is sunny, a few hours in the shopping centre if it is raining. A lot of my spare time I read, get onto my computer, watch some television, often cooking programs rather than movies or dramas. I usually crochet as I watch TV so just look up occasionally to see what the dish being cooked looks like. I get out as much as I can and as much
"Congratulations Mrs *W* you are our grand prize winner for today. You just won yourself a trip to the Bahamas" so said some enthusiastic American voice at the end of my phone line. She was less than enthusiastic when I told her I had an invalid husband, no money to fly anywhere right now, and no time to listen to her spiel. Well lucky me, on a Carers Pension, with a husband who's had five strokes, living on the East Coast of Australia and they are giving me a holiday in the Bahamas!!!! Just w
Tonight at Lions I got an award, it was one of those strange ones that gets you thinking about life. I was awarded Grandparent of the Year. Originally this award would have been for younger men who became a grandparent for the first time or had some outstanding number of children. Our Club has awarded it to great grandparents too. Tonight I got it for what the former president ( it was held for me after the changeover dinner when I was in England) said was special circumstances, I guess the
Something funny happened at the nursing home today. When I got to the NH Ray was in the large lounge room listening to the pianola. By his side sat L** who is a resident in the nursing home section and a friend now. She was Ray's partner when they played Bingo together. She backed off her wheelchair and waved me over to sit next to Ray.
Behind Ray sat a row of ladies from the hostel section. One of them said in a loud whisper: "Did you see that? That's his girlfriend just moved and that
"You are so beautiful and I love you" says a soft voice. I look into his blue eyes and he takes my hand in his and gives me a loving smile. This would be wonderful if it was the man of my dreams but we are in Mum's dementia lodge and the man who is holding my hand is a resident. He was once a high ranking government official and he is doing and saying what he is because for some reason I remind him of someone he once loved. Aww geewhiz. At least someone loves me.
Not a great week this
There are waiting lists all over this area with my name on it. When I think of all the poor people on waiting lists my blood boils. Currently Ray is waiting for:
1) his Modified Swallowing test - five weeks wait so far
2)an in-home respite carer once a week , three hours, Wednesdays, I've been on the waiting list for some time but a social worker just had another try - "Sorry, we will not have anyone available for a while, probably February at the earliest". which is all well and good but
I've been on this site going on for four years now. In those years I have of course grown four years older, I'm now past sixty, Ray and I had our fortieth wedding anniversary, he is now sixty six. We are not the young folk we used to be, nothing like we were in 1990 when he had his first stroke at aged forty eight. And yet, in a way, a huge part of our lives got left back there. We are part of the lost generation, those who for one reason or another were unable to fulfill their dreams, who ha
On Saturday we went to a 60th birthday party. It is the turn of the season so a heavy sweater didn’t seem appropriate. We had to wear something pink as it was a “pink party” so I bought a pink blouse on Friday and when I got it home and tried it on with the jacket I wanted to wear it with - CLASH - so there I was with no clothes to wear! Tragedy if you are a woman. In the end I found a couple of things that were pink and sort of went together so I was sorted. PHEW!
So why do we worry so
I can't believe how quiet it is, the cars are gone from the driveway, the fold-down bed is packed away, the sides are cleared of bottles, plasticware and food. The family have gone home. It has been a wonderful family weekend.
This is one of the last times our Sydney family will be here for any length of time, they came up to do the service at their old "home corps" this morning. They came up yesterday afternoon and we all had a BBQ dinner together early and then talked until late. The
I don't praise my sister very often but I do praise her for what she did today, she saved me money on a washing machine. Here we bargain shop as you probably do by looking for the best price. You start at one of the upmarket stores to get a basic price, go round the corner and ask their price and then go to where you think you might get the cheapest price. So we did that and the cheapest place salesman said:"Yes, we can meet that price." And she said;"Is that all?" And he said:"NO we can go
Seems as if time has flown since I last blogged and now we are just a few days short of Christmas, so only one thing to do. Wish you all the best for the days ahead, a peaceful and joyous time with family and friends. May the year ahead be one of progress and new opportunities. Bless you in all you do.
I just hate the sound of the wind howling, the rain slashing, the waves (two streets over) hitting the rocks and that lonesome feeling that comes calling again. Why am I alone, why am I here by myself, where are the friends and family that should be supporting me? I know they all wish me well but that is the extent of their care. I so hate being alone some days.
I have been out to see Ray as usual. A wet Saturday and not a lot of visitors are around because of the weather. There are musi
I am just sitting here wondering what we will do if Ray keeps putting on weight? I just sorted out his wardrobe and he can wear about a quarter of last winter’s clothes. Unfortunately men do not wear elastic waisted or loose fitting garments like women do so the change is really noticeable now. It is a pity as he has some really nice clothes he can’t wear now.
Like most semi hemis (someone who is partially paralyzed down one side) Ray has trouble getting dressed and needs his garments pro
Strange week last week, another funeral, a few days of trying to get the car ready to re-register, a couple of lunches out with friends, a few more things added to my to do list as I need some time for cleaning out drawers. It was a good week on the whole. My program seems to be lightening up. Maybe I am just ignoring what has to be done, always a possibility.
The Assistant Bishop came down from Newcastle this morning and I am now officially a Lay Minister in charge of Mutual Care. So the
I had a few days away visiting with my daughter and my family, it was nice to be with them for my birthday, to have a present first thing in the morning from the grandkids and they sang "Happy Birthday" and made me feel special. We had a special dinner that night, leg of lamb with garlic and roasted vegetables, a huge feast for me. So it was all very nice. I took the friend I had staying with me down to my daughter's place and she enjoyed herself too. She comes from an inland town where they wak
I haven't written a blog for a while as really my life just goes on from day to day. I have settled into a routine three years and nine months out from becoming a widow and my life more or less follows a pattern. The days can be soothing or dull depending on how I feel on the day.The winter days of course compound that as they are shorter and the evenings longer so in the evening it is watching TV, doing some hand work, knitting, crocheting, beading, whatever I can lay my hands on that makes me
For all of you in the northern hemisphere think of this as March, wet, drizzly, high winds, grey skies, people battling across car parks with the rain on their glasses, wet hair dripping down the back of their necks. Okay, that is picture of our day. Blahhhhh!
I got up slow today. There are days when I don't want to get out of bed and face the day. Then a friend rang and requested help. Her smoke alarm was going off. I held onto the phone while she turned every electrical appliance of
Now before you get too excited this is not an expose of the night life here. It is an explanation of why we have been off the air from 9.30am Friday till 12.30am Sunday morning. We have been experiencing really rough weather on our part of the coast and the power lines were down all over so no lights, no power, no computer...wah!!
The drama started on Friday morning when after an overnight of high winds with some rain the lights went out. This happened just before our Friday minder came,
I read about stroke depression and I do not have that reason for feeling blue. The sun is shining, the birds are singing but still some days I feel sad. I have a roof over my head and warm blankets and nice food but still some days I feel bad about life. I guess that is part of the human condition. I miss Ray, I miss someone to talk things over with, I miss someone who is on my side. I miss being part of a couple, I miss the real Ray, the laughing guy I married when I was 21.
I miss al
It was the anniversary of Mum's death yesterday, she died on the 20th November 2012 two months and one day after Ray died. I went to to her nursing home Carer's meeting in the afternoon. We are allowed to keep on attending the meetings for a year after our loved one dies. It is a good idea as there is still so much you want to say and the meeting is a safe environment to speak about your feelings. I find I can still help others too. It is good to still be able to use all of that experience t
As you all know I do a lot of visiting on behalf of the church and my Lions Club, I also visit people who have gone into nursing homes who have been in other parts of my life. I do it for a lot of reasons, partly I do it because I can. I can visit because of Mum being in a nursing home for so long. I got immune to a lot of what stops other people from visiting. As stroke caregivers and survivors we have learned a lot of different skills, some of which overflow into other parts of our lives. We l
There has been a lot of posting about Christmas, those for celebrating it and those against it. I know as our world gets more secular and our nations more multinational that there will be tension when a holiday, precious to one part of the nation, is not celebrated by another.
We have a good example of that in Australia with Australia Day (26th January) which celebrates to a lot of folk what it means to be a true Australian. It commemorates the day Captain Cook landed on the shores of Bot
As a caregiver I sometimes have to be in the right about things. Even while I am asserting what I think is right in a situation, sometimes over and over and in a loud voice, a small voice in the back of my head says:"but what about their rights?"
Because of Ray' disabilities it is easier for me if we follow a routine. Sometimes when I say:"Come on mate, it's time to get ready." he rolls his eyes and I can see that he doesn't want to go out. I guess in the days when I could leave him safely o
We just went away for five days' holiday, a coach tour to a town about three hours drive from here. It is part of the biggest horse breeding area outside of Kentucky. The day tours were centred on horses but included historical homesteads and places where breeding horses for racing first started in that area and we visited the most fabulous stud full of the loveliest horses imaginable. I am not a horse rider but have been involved in the racing industry a long time ago and the sight of those
As Steve is reviving "100 things you didn't know about me" I went back and found this old blog of mine called "Who am I?" which was a challenge from a member who was very active at that time called Susan Lowe. It is another way of putting together a list about yourself. Mine has a genealogical flavour (so I am a complex person...lol) and I thought I would revive it so you can use it as an example. Maybe you can see things in it that will inspire you to do one of your own.
Who am I?
I am fro
