A recent survey in Australia has put caregivers as a class, both professional paid workers and unpaid family members as the group with the highest stress of any job, paid or unpaid. I guess I am not surprised. For me it is the constant nature of the job. There is no end to the chores, no point at which I can say: "there, I have done it, that is that finished for now." and walk away, like you do in any other job. Because I am only one person looking after a person who probably needs three or
We are enjoying the last warm days before autumn turns to that colder period that heralds winter. I have loved the last week with its mild days and cool nights. It is good weather for Ray to be out on the verandah and for me to be in the garden in front of the house pulling up weeds and tidying the place up, it is good to feel the weight of blankets and snuggle in at night and yet still be out and about in the afternoon in a short sleeved top and skirt, feeling like summer still lingers.
I used to dream one day I would leave, walk away, never come back. I would get in my car and drive, far, far, away. I used to have that dream early in my time as a caregiver. I think it was saying that I had the choice; I could leave any time I wanted to. We all know that is not the case; life is far more complicated than that.
Ray used to work at a mental hospital; he carried a large bunch of keys, door keys, cupboard keys, ward keys, safe keys, keys to padlocks and keys to openings and
It is raining here and I am getting sick of being alone and looking forward to having Ray back home on Monday. It has been lonely without him. I have had a chance to catch up with my studies and providing Trev
For all of you who have been praying, my heartfelt thanks but please don't stop! I need all your prayers to keep me afloat. Ray and I are going away on Tuesday to Cairns and I still have so many things to sort out, Ray's medications, our clothes and other needs to be packed and now another MAJOR problem..
Today I minded my three local grandkids while their parents went to look at a house they are interested in buying as they are really growing out of theirs. Ray and I gave up a couple of ot
I've unexpectedly got a couple of days off as Ray has gone off to Camp Breakaway for just a couple of nights. This came about because of a funding rule that says all donated funding for semi-charitable organisations must be used up by the end of the tax year (June 30th) and as they had just received a small grant they decided to have the regular clients over for a special weekend. I only found out about it last week, had the interview Tuesday and this morning off Ray went. Wow, what a pleasant
I had another call from my telco's complaint's department to say my problem has been fixed...but every ten minutes or so the lines drop out and the computer freezes and an error message comes up...so how "fixed" is my problem? I will just keep logging the drop-outs and hope that on Monday I can get onto another operator in the complaints department and...complain!
Today has been a day of frustration, maybe some Fridays are like that in whatever situation you find yourself in. There alway
Sorry folks but my old computer doesn't like the new chat set up and won't let me in. So for now someone else will do it for me. I will be updating my computer though when I get back from my two little breaks so I will be back hosting again. I will miss chat as it has been a big part of my day.
Next week we are going to Camp Breakaway, it is only a short break, Tuesday lunchtime till Friday morning, but for me it is other people to talk to, others preparing meals and Ray still gets show
I am not happy right now. Life has changed again and I am not coping with it. It is for all kinds of reasons. For example: Ray has always had "wife deafness" but now that seems to have really cut into our time. I say to Ray: "We need to go out so will you go to the toilet please." I then move off to do something else, come back, Ray is still in the chair. So I restate, he looks at me and looks back at his puzzle book. He has no understanding of the time factor or the need to make one mo
The last few nights have been really bad for me for some reason. Maybe the anxiety which I bury quite firmly during the day comes to the surface at night when my will is no longer strong enough to defeat it. I try not to lay there going over the problems of the day, I try to pray and meditate and bring positive thoughts back into my mind but it is not easy.
I had a friend who lived to be 102, when she was about 95 she discovered that being a light sleeper and waking up in the wee small ho
Well, what a day this has been. I had such a wonderful day...and if you take the good with the bad, the good far outweighed the bad. It was a perfect day weather-wise, after a couple of days of rain the skies were clear and blue and remained that way the whole of the day. The little hall we had hired for the occassion was a good fit, enough people for it to look crowded but plenty of room between the tables so I circulated with ease. Ray sat near the door so got a kiss from all the females wh
Well, why is it that as soon as you think life is settling down it speeds up again? I have been cleaning, washing, tidying, to get the house ready to leave. Add a lot of cooking/freezing to do as all of a sudden everyone is leaving me vegetables and of course I have to process them all before I go away. At least now there will be plenty of lovely soup in the freezer for those "too tired to cook" nights when I get back.
I am having some more trouble with the care provider. Why do they em
I kind of imagined that Ray would come home and life would settle back down again. I don't think I could have been more wrong. If anything it is like living in a washing machine at the moment, one minute you're up, one minute you're down, every minute you are moving!
Ray came home on Thursday as planned. He was really glad to be home but I can see a big difference in him. He is just drifting, just doing what has to be done and nothing more. If it is mealtime he eats, just eating takes
Because of shows like "Oprah", the "Rikki Lake" type shows I guess there is a feeling that everyone shares their ups and downs and some people share their most intimate details until you want to say " too much information!" But that is not the way it is right across the world. In every situation there are those who are happy to open up their lives for all to see and those who are quiet and withdrawn and keep ther lives and their thoughts about it to themselves.
In England a person might s
Only three days before I go on holidays. It is a bitter sweet preparation this time. In one way I am looking forward to it, the family reunion with my daughter and grandchildren, that is a joy. There is the peace of mind of knowing I can rest in bed of a night without one ear open, not having to hop out of bed and start the day whether I want to or not. On the other hand it is hard to know how to prepare. Am I going into heat, humidity and rain or balmy autumn days? Hard to tell until I ge
I just deleted a blog, I don't do that very often but I read it a few times and it didn't at all express what it is I wanted to say. So I slept on it and read it again this morning and it still looked all wrong so I deleted it. Wouldn't it be good if we could do that with the things that go wrong in our lives....lol.
On Wednesday an old friend rang me. She had had a visit from the son of an old neighbour on Sunday. She has looked after the neighbour, just in small ways, for a few years s
"You are so beautiful and I love you" says a soft voice. I look into his blue eyes and he takes my hand in his and gives me a loving smile. This would be wonderful if it was the man of my dreams but we are in Mum's dementia lodge and the man who is holding my hand is a resident. He was once a high ranking government official and he is doing and saying what he is because for some reason I remind him of someone he once loved. Aww geewhiz. At least someone loves me.
Not a great week this
Anchorites ( female - anchoress) were like hermits or enclosed monks but solitary. The anchorite/anchoress lived in an external room attached to an abbey, cathedral or large church. Their task was to have a healing presence. In exchange for food or charitable contributions they listened to the problems of all who came to their window set in the wall that faced the outside world, and agreed to pray for them for set periods of time. There was no "fee" the obligation was on the anchorite/anchor
It is so frustrating when it seems like it is never OUR turn to be given a break (literally AND figuratively). I guess it is so true that nothing lasts forever though, good or bad. All we can do is feel each moment of life- cherish the good in it, no matter how frustrating- and remember for better or worse this day will be a memory before we know it.
Thank you to the kind person who send me this email. She never thinks she is wise but her email closing with this paragraph certainly put li
"Daylight saving time: Why are they saving it and where do they keep it?"
We went onto daylight saving last Sunday here in New South Wales, east coast of Australia. Luckily Bonnie blogged about daylight saving so I learned that in the US it doesn't change until 4th November so I got to chat on time. Actually I got there early and managed to have a fairly serious chat before the main crowd came in which was good too.
I am really enjoying the diverse cross section of people who come i
Ray is home at last. I left here after chat to go and get him. I found him sitting in the lobby to the hostel where he had respite. When I asked him where his luggage was he said to ask the receptionist. She called the supervisor and she went in and brought it all out on a trolley. The hostel is not open to the public until tomorrow but they decided Ray could come home today anyway as he was out of his quarantine period. I was really thankful for that.
I enjoyed the break from Ray but
Another week ended and a calm, quiet one at that. Nothing much to tell you. The weather is fine, the nights colder, the washing dried today. Life is very mundane but I would be delighted to keep it that way for a few weeks. That way I can build up my strength for the next "critical incident". I wish there would never be one but life has a habit of not letting me rest for long.
Today I went to the Dementia support group which meets first and third Fridays. We had two short films, the fir
Today it is raining, not the rain of summer with thunder and lightning and spectacle, but the quiet , gently falling rain that tells me the seasons are changing and autumn (fall) is here. There is no dramatic changing of leaves or other signs to tell us, just gradually falling temperatures, shrinking daylight hours and the lessening warmth of sunlight. Daylight saving ends next Sunday and that will mean earlier evening mealtimes as the days draw in rapidly. It is a time for packing summer clo
