Bil's Blog

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About this blog

Dreams and reality

Entries in this blog

Keeping writing

July 19, 2006   Why is it that I start to write stories, and eventually stop? Is a block or that I loose interest in what I am writing? It is not after my stroke and aphasia, because for many years I have had the old problem. I have so many manuscripts, novels and plays I started to write, but eventually I was not interested.   It could be that it is difficult to keep writing and hard to get back to the next page -- could it be that it is boring, or hard to find the plot? For many year

Bil

Bil

Another Day

July 18, 2006   I couldn't believe that I had not written anything on the Bloq. Probably because many times my brain is not interested in stories. Truthfully, my days are mostly boring and I have no thoughts -- like sitting in front of an empty screen. Yet, when I go to sleep, I am feeling much better because I always ask that I may have a great adventure dream. And it is true, it's as if I am sitting in a dark theater when I see different movies (meaning that I get many dreams in one nig

Bil

Bil

Cooking again!

January 31, 2005   One of the things I didn't like after my stroke was about cooking. I always loved to cook. Not that I was a chef, but at least a good cook. Like when I was young, I always entertaining friends for a dinner -- although many of them never asked invited me to their homes. Think they were not good cooks, since they always said that my food was as if I was a gourmet. I never wanted to hear that, because some times I felt that my food was not the best.   They loved my stuf

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Losing My Mind

The last few weeks I have been depreesed.   What is life? Having problems in the house - a nice person who had to get into a hospital - heart attackd and a rehab and she is back. Meanwhile, I hate my gums to pa y $1,500 to keep my teeth, and worse, I had no thoughts. I love to write but I can't anymore. Hate having no thoughts, even to sleep.   Even my aphasia is gettting worse. Hard to think of words. I am stupid again?   Is it the heavy snow which I love to watch? Or is

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Rewriting for Idiot Computers

For many years I wrote letters and stories and they were disappeared. I don't know where they went, I was simply writing as I used to in a typewriter. Now I have learned how to write again on a computer and I am no longer an idiot.   January 10, 2005 - 7:25 p.m.   What is an idiot on computers? Whether you are a stroke/aphasiac, or a caregiver, or a "normal" person the best answer is about to paste messages, I get angry when I am writing to post a message and it disappears, even trying

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Angels in Dentists

January 10, 2005   Yesterday was my birthday and it was terrible. I usually do something special like going to a good restaurant or go to see movies, but yesterday I stayed home. The problem was my pain on the gums.   Last Tuesday, I had to visit a periodonist in New Jersey, to check my gums and teeth as the expensive dentists told me to do in Long Island. I emailed 3 periodontists, and just one answered, his name Marc Gordon in Lakewood, N.J. I had emailed him that I live off from SSI

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Periodonist Day

January 5, 2005   I don't mind the rain. Actually, I love to sit in front of a window while I am on the computer to watch the rain and enjoy the sound. But today I do not need rain, especially when it is cold. I have an appointment for a periodonist at 1:45 and yesterday, I was trying all day to find how to get there. Sadly, there is no public transportation here in Manchester, New Jersey.   If I want to make my appointment, I have to take our village residence bus to the bus terminal

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Using a telephone

This is the begging of my journal.   Couldn't sleep well last night because I was nervous that I had to make calls this morning. I never liked the telephone when I was healthy but now it's worse because I have problems to speak. I didn't know how I was going to wake up, will be a great actor remembering lines or will I be a baby talking learning how to say words.   Finally got the energy to make calls. First for New Jersey Health, trying to get information about Medicaid. Of course, I

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