Many of you know what my story lately is, After 19 years of marriage and a stroke I am getting divorced, I'm presently living on my own, loving it and basically making the most of every day that I am able to. My life is full and rich in friends. In many respects I truely think my life is more enriched and rewarding since I stroked. I have this site and a special guy in my life whom I could never get rid of. Anyway yesterday, much was put into perspective for me. I'd like to share it here.
My
Yesterday I had a great time. I went to my friend Jim's party. It was a BBQ and a typical small town upstate NY party. My other friend Lou went and Lou had culture shock. I was highly amused by Lou's observations. Lou is a city boy born and bred, Lou moved to small town USA two years ago. Lou is proud he is finally getting a handle on who is related to who.
Course as anyone who lives in a narrow minded small town knows, everyone either knows everyone or is related to them somehow. So Lou ha
Lately I've been fall cleaning my life. I started decorating for fall at the beginning of August. I love fall, one of my favorite seasons. Mainly cause football starts. I'm happy to say this year, I've actually watched a few pre season games already. I like the change in the weather from fall's arrival, the chill in the air in the mornings, ummm makes that first cup of coffee and smoke so delightful.
But I bought 4 books of Philosphy before summer started and planned to read heavy heady stuff,
I needed something to blog about today, as it is a rainy dreary day and I'm somewhat bored, I thought of what I'd like in the almost perfect guy. Yup, I used the word almost, sort of a disclaimer that I know a perfect person doesn't exist, outside of how I perceive myself! ?Ha! So a girl can dream about the fantasy guy, can't she? This entry may be a super toned down version of sex in the city. I doubt it, cause I don't frequent diners with my girlfriends and stress over being single. Instead
Lately, I have been thinking how my age isn't so bad. But I have come far since the time shortly before I turned 40. Then 40 loomed large and ugly and unwanted. For as long as I could remember 40 was it, the end of the line, over the hill, ancient and one foot in the grave. Well I've changed my viewpoint. 41 is neither too old nor too young, I am in between and loving it. I know who Humphrey Bogart is and I'm not to old not to enjoy some songs that are heavy metal or rap or know that I like the
Well before I plopped in here to blog, I was reading the blogs and I read cinders and Amy's. Amy is ticked at the guy who took her virginity. So I got to thinking and going back down memory lane to when I was 12 and thougfht of the guy I gave mine to. I haven't seen him in over twenty years and last I heard, his wife was divorcing him and taking him for everything. That made me glad. I did a mental hats off to her.
Then talking of chat as the only social life...... my world once consisted of
Yesterday I was talking with Charles/cbramsey. He had had a physch test done and one of the questions was what does a statue and poem have in common? Now, this has driven me nuts for close to 24 hours now. Does anyone else have the answer? Sandy? Do you know? One other one I knew the answer to was
Monarchy
Republic
I thought that was easy---England.
I guess I don't get the purpose of these type of tests. Unless they are designed with the sole purpose to make one lay awake at night tryin
Well Glenda called me. I mentioned her before. She is someone local who stroked and my co- workers asked me to talk to her. She needs support. Well she does, but I don't think I'm qualified to help her. She talked more about her dirty rat bas**** X husband, then stroke. Hey that's fine, but I don't know this woman and we are on thin ice with that topic. Yeah, I may shortly have an X of my own to talk about, but I don't want to become someones ear for all general problems. She isn't on anti-depre
I don't have a title, or a specific topic in mind, it is all just rambling and propaganda anyway. Does anyone else out there realize just how many people on a daily basis, believe their own propaganda? My soon to be X and his bike, er bimbo, are two of the most self deceived people I've come across. And HELLO! I'm the one with brain damage!Neither of them would recoginize the truth of reality unless it walked up to them and slapped them both silly. Then because they both appear to have the inte
Well lets all give a big hand to the design team. The newest model is ready to be on the market. But remember this is a new untested model, there may need to be some tweaking done here and there.
That is just the endless chatter I have in my head at the moment regarding myself. Yes, I've been undergoing some soul searching and re-evaluating my life. So what it all boils down to is an Ala Carte menu, my choices of personality traits I like or loathe. And I need to thank the three people who hav
This morning I am pondering if being creative is a natural born talent or is it something that I've seen or read and regurgitated into my own style? Pre stroke I was highly creative.
Nothing was safe from my eye looking at it and seeing it as a vessel for an arrangement or a use to make my home more welcoming. I even did it with people's clothes. I'd see someone wearing a floral skirt, blouse or dress and I'd finger the material rubbing it between my thumb and forefinger and declare, "This wou
Well I think I'll keep in the theme of incompetence.But it isn't medical incompetence. It is my long distance carrier, AT&T. I signed up with them two months ago, 7 cents a minute plan and the international plan, I pay a nominal fee each month for the priveledge of getting those rates. Well after speaking with numerous employees of AT&T, no one has gotten me in the system and I am carying a $500.00 phone bill that needs to be re rated and credited to my phone company! How hard is it to
Well Mama Deer doesn't drop in as much but I guess she told her kid it was ok to come here and play. The Baby brings a friend now. Mama used to hang at the edge of the woods and yard and watch baby, but now the large eared baby comes with his friend and they are funny to watch. They kick up their back heels and tear around the yard chasing each other. Then they wander over near the edge of the woods where the grass is tall and they graze and look around as their munching away.
I guess the foxe
Yesterday, no matter how I look at it was a fantastic day all the way around and I had company. Pre stroke Pam stopped by to visit and share her attitude and way of looking at the world. She also shared her energy. She pitched in and the apartment is so clean and sparkling I can eat off the floors, my life is organized and able to run smoothly for awhile as long as I can keep it up. We were brainstorming ideas for me to be creative again. But we kind of shelved that idea for awhile as I was wip
Have you ever been away and you get the feeling that you've got all day, theres nothing pressing to do, no need to stick to a schedule, throw the timex away. A feeling steals over you of lots of time and an easy relaxed pace.
Well that is how I felt this morning. It is a rare beautiful sunny breezy day without the humidity we've had. I was sitting on my patio just enjoying being outside and I had that "vacation" feeling. Then the mama deer walked out of the woods, she stood there twitching he
Has anyone else noticed the same thing as I have this morning? How do you see the passage of time? In minute units or in hours or you haven't got a clue?
As a kid I told time by the old fashioned type clock. We didn't have the time on microwaves, the computer or digital clocks. I didn't think of time in minute units, I thought of time in five minute units, 15 minutes, 30 minutes, ect.....
Ha!
Yeah I needed something to blog about today, can you tell? I was at the end of page two, teet
What did I used to do before I gave a thought and some serious attention to perspective?
This morning I was wandering from room to room in my apartment, thinking what I wanted to do today. I wasn't thinking out of boredom or desperation, just planning my day.
I realized that I had a desire to be creative amd either do some interior decorating or change a room around. Surprisingly this is how I used to be pre stroke. Post stroke the desire to be creative was like pulling teeth to accompli
9 a.m. this morning, I was sitting at my old house at the dining room table I once loved and was thrilled to own. We were getting audited for 2003. It was about an hour into it the agent, says I'm not gonna waste anyone elses time, this is fine here.
But my reason for blogging this, (besides getting off of page 2) is I used to throw everything out. Bank statements, deposit slips ect... well you shouldn't cause they saved our a** today. As 2003 was after I stroked, Kurt took over paying the bi
I'm told change is good, keeps things fresh and running smoothly. Now I'm no stranger to change these days. In the past I was gung ho about change, embraced it, looked for it.
Well maybe the novelty of change has finally lost its thrill for me. Just doesn't give me that adrenline rush anymore. That sense of satisfaction.
If change that happens is a good thing for one, then if it is right, it should give a sense of serenity, no? If it doesn't work and isn't good for one, then there is th
Tuesday night I went out to dinner with my old co-workers, I once was a customer service rep for my local phone company. I live in a very small community.
At dinner the girls were telling me about a customer that just stroked in the last few weeks..... So both of them say to me, will you call her? She lives alone and she was born deaf. So I say yeah sure I'll call her, extend my hand in support.
Then I got thinking and considering.... I remember her name, I don't remember her. So long s
Isn't it amazing what the wonders of a good solid nights sleep do for one? The best thing about a bad day or week in my case, is that there is always another day to give it another shot. The brand new day holds out all the possabilities of what is to come or what CAN happen. The Doom and gloom evaporates at some point during the night.
My problem is I get mired in the muck of what isn't right in my life, what I need to change, ect... I take myself too seriously. I think too much. So today I w
Gee, today I could rival Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, when he moans the statement" It's a fine tail, I'm kind of attached to it" Sad, gloomy and having an all around bad week. I feel like I am a ugly duckling this week.
I'm going out tonight to try a resataurant I've wanted to try for at least a year. My new neighbors moved in, so far I think they are pleasent friendly people. I have had a hectic day so far, with all the activity of neighbors moving in, talking with the realtor and the cab
There once was a time, I used to hate Monday mornings. I was always cranky till 11A.M. or so. Yeah because the weekend was over and it was back to the grind of the work week. Well there was a time shortly after the stroke. I missed the work grind so bad I could feel it inside.
But here I am three years out and I love being retired! Monday mornings aren't bad at all. I enjoy the slow pace of going on my patio with my coffee and smoking and just listening to the birds start their morning choru
I'm sitting here, staring. I'm so tired right now, I can't think of a thing to write about. I may go grill a cheeseburger on the grill in a few minutes. I made that for last nights dinner with a nice toss salad with Balsamic Vinigrette dressing and a glass of Sangria and I watched the sun set over the mountians. I enjoyed my dinner, it beats bottled water and a banana that I have been eating for dinner. I didn't buy any bananas this week, I am sick of them. Three months of eating a banana every
I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning, courtesy of Petey the Pom. As soon as I woke up, the mind kicked into overdrive. The thoughts weren't good, positive, peaceful ones, nah, just the opposite.
Yesterday, was a good peaceful happy day. So my question I am trying to solve is this. Is happiness only a state of mind? Is happiness so fragile, that it books off at the first sign of a negative thought? Is it so tentative, that it is a constant focus to keep it in place? I don't seem to ever remember
