hostpam's Blog

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About this blog

Survivors secret journey

Entries in this blog

Harvard University's president

Am I the only one who thinks all the media and news coverage of what the President of Harvard said about men having a better aptitude for science and math then women is simply stating a fact. Since when has freedom of speech disappeared? What did he say that was newsworthy? What point have I missed? It is a fact that men graviatate towards science and math. So what is the big deal that the man is getting crucified over? Is there some small minority of militant feminists just lusting over a cau

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Music and Life

I can't say how many times in my life, I have used music, more specifically women singers and their songs to pump me up and gather my inner forces to do what was necessary. Ever since I was a teen, I have used this method to cope. As a teen it was to break it off with someone who no longer held the important place in my life. I can't say I thought everything out all the way or that I had an end result that wasn't selfish or self centered or even where I would never be considered an existialist(

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Who Let the Dogs Out???

Well ever since I read Jean's blog, that song has been rattling around in my head today. So I guess it could mean the thoughts I've been thinking today. Yes, I put the words thoughts I've together, at times I do have real intelligent thoughts. Sometimes they might even make sense to everyone. I say this because of when I first stroked the posse of inlaws suddenly treated me as if I had not only a stroke but had become retarded too. I hated the feeling that gave me, so I quite happily now rub it

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SOME THINGS WEREN'T MEANT TO BE...

There are just some things that weren't meant to be. I get on a roll that is fed by success of accomplishing one thing, I get all heady and cocky and think I can now rule the world. I decided to cook tonight. My choice was Shrimp Fetticini.But it would be helpful if I had the ALL the right ingredients. I didn't, but I cheated--- thank god for Bistro on the Go! Throw that baby in the microwave and within 10 minutes the kitchen smells as if I've been slaving there all day. OK, one obstacle overc

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Look what I did for chocolate!

I am 40 now and have discovered the merits of eating chocolate. I may be a late bloomer just finding this out, but I can claim brain damage, and the fact that I am now in menopause and have put the "P" in PMS. But it is simply amazing what I will now do for a Milky Way bar.   The spouse buys Milky Ways in bulk now, because both kids and I love them. I don't need them, but a treat is nice every once in awhile. They reside on top of the fridge. Now when one has stroked and has a balence issue,

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Surprise by Design

Today at 10a.m. the heating system guy was here. My head is swirling with facts of Propane vs. fuel oil. Not only that I also have to remember it is a small tiny little space I am working with. I have it in my head how I want the layout to be, the other half has his vision. These visions are not one and the same, not even close. I am trying to design it with my living in it alone, disabled, he is designing it with the speed of a slow day at a McDonald's drive thru in mind. He wants to get it

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Thoughts on the day after a party

No wonder I want a divorce! It amazes me everytime the point is driven home, that I actually at one time stood in a chapel, knees shaking, heart pounding from excitement that I was about to marry this man I now can't wait to shed. It is hard to hold on to newfound understandings of my feelings. I am different now, true the stroke changed me. But I feel that every time I have a lightbulb moment where the light shines into the dark recesses of my mind and I see something for how it is now. I nee

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The Morning after a Party

Well if you judge what my entry will based n the title.... No, I did not have a different partner in my bed this morning. And no, I did not have a hangover. Although the second could have easily been the reason. I did try a new shot last night called a "backslide", I only had one shot as it was potent stuff.But it tasted good and didn't cause me to shiver or grimace on its way down my throat. I can remember doing pitchers of Alabama Slammers and every shot I swallowed made me shiver. Backslides

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Today- day one

Well history is being made, my first blog entry. It is 10 a.m. and I am showered and dressed. Wonders never cease! Well really we are refinancing our mortgage and today is the closing, so I had no choice but to be on the ball today. Once we refinance, I'll get a line of credit to renovate our small barn in our backyard into a small little house for me. I'm excited about renovating and designing and decorating the barn. It is a whole new life and chapter. I'm looking forward to it. Actually I'm

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