Well I am the ripe old age of 42 today for real. I've been claiming that age for months now. Every laugh line and wrinkle and gray hair are mine, I earned them all. That goes for the rolls of fat that have appeared to be happy to have residence on my body. Gee, soon I can start a bakery with all these rolls. OK, enough we all get the picture, I'm ok with how old I am and how I am.
Today is a great day to look forward to as I have an appointment with SVEN, my own personal massuese. Plus, Bil
It isn't quite 8 a.m. and I haven't finished my first cup of coffee and I'm out of sugar and had to use Splenda. Ah well such is life some mornings..... I was wandering in the older entries of blogs and read one by Givincare about reaching goals. It distinctly reminded me of a time on my journey to acceptance where the question begged to be answered. "When does having huge amounts of hope, turn out to really be denial in disguise"? As many know, hope can be a persuasive thing, it seduces one in
We all know what the survivor shuffle is... It is what our gaits look like and our balance is gone when we get tired. For me it becomes one step forward and three steps sideways and then hop around on my right leg to get my balance back. It takes awhile to get to where I want to go doing the shuffle, but I get there eventually. "Eventually" has become my middle name.
Why am I mentioning the survivor shuffle? Cause when I am performing my personal version I appear to be drunk, it happens at 9 a
Alright I'm coming to terms or coming to age (take your pick) with seeing how I really am now. Physically I am old and feeble and doddering on the edge. As in analogy not in actual fact. But has anyone else here given this concept any thought? After surviving stroke, no matter what age we are, physically we just got launched into old age whether we were ready or not. So I am now trying to shift my life around to accomadate that fact. It is behind my decision in housing for the future, mass tr
Beauty
And a poet said, 'Speak to us of Beauty.'
Where shall you seek beauty, and how shall you find her unless she herself be your way and your guide?
And how shall you speak of her except she be the weaver of your speech?
The aggrieved and the injured say, 'Beauty is kind and gentle.
Like a young mother half-shy of her own glory she walks among us.'
And the passionate say, 'Nay, beauty is a thing of might and dread.
Like the tempest she shakes the
I will say this is my blog and these are my opinions. I am on a soapbox about being politically correct today. Like come on people, we are still a free country, my opinions don't have to be your opinions, my views don't have to be clones of yours. Take a deep breath and accept that not everyone has the same views as you.
If you are happy being mainstream and having someone tell you how to think, well fine good for you, but I'll think for myself thank you very much.
How many times have I h
I have no clue why I am wandering around in the past today. I am not seeking anything. I may have realized a thing or two from my wanderings. 1] I am bored today. Mentally bored. 2] I've come a long long way baby. Wityh the high I get from knowing I am doing well and being mentally bored, well that isn't a good combination. It is the calm before a storm type. The peace before things get mixed up, changed and blown up. This feeling is worse then waiting for baby chicks to peck their way out o
Yippee the blogs are back! My last entry a week ago was one that I was fed up with everything and everyone. Now a week later, all is well in my world. I went shopping yesterday, got some new CD's to listen to. Life is going according to my newest plan.
I'm still having great progress with just wearing shoes, no brace. That makes me happy. I do have to concentrate more when I walk though, but I know now it is a thing I can do. Another level regained!
Pam
Today is not a good day, it is the kind of day when I am fed up. I'm fed up with people professing to have my best interests at heart. I'm fed up with ones who believe in some form of interpretation of the bible assuming that I believe as they do. I'm fed up with having to depend on others. Lets just say I'm fed up with just about everything. We just got another foot of the white stuff, I'm fed up with that too. I no longer am enamoured with the beauty of snow.
The only good thing about today
Well, yes today has been a marathon and it isn't 1 P.M. yet. I have to admit that though productive marathon errand filled days are few and far between these days. I still acknowledge when I have one.
I got up at 6 a.m.
Had a few cups of coffee, let the dog out, seperated the laundry, stripped the bed. Sat down and wrotew out bills, left at 10a.m. put my laundry in the machines, booked out of there, went to the phone company, paid my bill, made a copy of a letter, left there went to the pos
Yup day before Christmas and I'm slumming. I am having a bad day.Lots of dark thoughts and I even went and dug the bodies up, they didn't stay buried long enough.
My daughter was over this morning for a whopping 45 minutes, we went outside and she was sliding down the icey snow covered hill on her butt. I was doing my mommy thing and dutifully watching, and clapping and cheering her on and it hit me. I'm missing so much of her daily life. But sometimes it can't be helped and whether I live 800
I know my definition of sucess has changed since stroke entered my life. How do all of you measure sucess? At one time it was the address, money and job and car I drove. It also was having the first son to carry on the husbands family name. That was then, this is now....( did that book appeal to amyone besides me?) I have some more Zen to share, it is untitled and the author is unknown to me.
To laugh often and love much, to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of childr
A few years ago, I met my first real stroke survivor that I gave support to and helped and eventually befriended. Her name is Maria. Maria was having a hard time with the whole stroke event, she was elderly, had some form of Asphasia, no family nearby and was sinking into depression and becoming overwhelmed. I wrote her a letter. I used the analogy of stroke as being at the bottom of a mountain looking way up to thepeak of the mountain. It is a long way to the top but if you you break it down an
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
>are getting weak?
>
>Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
>is not enough?
>
>Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
>stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
>
>Whydoesn't glue stick to the bottle?
>
>Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
>
>Whydoesn't Tarzan have a be
I have a ton of stuff swirling in my brain today. To give you an idea- Karma, reincarnation, Existentialism, Kierkgard, Kant's Manifold of Destiny(does anyone understand what he was saying? He fries my brain!)philosphies of Buddihism, Paganism and on and on. My brain just never stops or shuts up, plus all the mundane lists of things to do for christmas, moving, ect ect....legal ends to tie up before I leave the state. Baggage to unpack and or throw away. Now I understand where Scarlett was comi
I don't watch much tv, but for some weeks now, I make sure I am plopped in front of my tv on Tuesdays at 9 and Wednesdays at 8. On A&E is a show called Dog The Bounty Hunter. I am a new fan. I find the show hysterically funny. For a couple hours a week, I get to peek into the world of bounty hunters. While interesting, the appeal for me is the excitement, the danger. Yeah I know I need a life. Working on that..... So for those of you reading my blog, if you have never watched Dog, I strongly
OK, My metamorphus has happened. I now hate christmas, want it to just slide by like aging. Wake me up when it is over.
Now I once used to be a lover of all christmas, we used to take two entire weeks to decorate the house, put up two trees and I used to make 400 batches of cookies to give away each year. What was I nuts?????? I'll be lucky if I manage one batch of toll house chocolate chip and I'll cheat and buy the refridgerated dough to make them too. I can't be bothered with all the fuss.
I am calm this morning, no ranting and raving happening here. PMS has passed and in its wake left a calm peaceful feeling. And even though I was ranting the other day, and said things I shouldn't, I don't regret it. I stand behind everything I said. I did have a period of feeling bad and almost, not quite apologized publically. But what stopped me from apologizing was the question kept pounding in my head...." Hold on, I appointed myself as the voice of the survivor around here. Why should I apo
I am fired up over a post on the board from a newbie about her father.Maybe I have reached a point where my saturation level for the sucky attitudes of family members of stroke survivors has maxed out. I'm tired of hearing the whining how stroke has inconvienced their lives. Now before I get blasted from the other side, I know stroke affects everyone. But as a survivor that lived with that attitude from my X and his parents, I take a huge offense to it and it *beep* me off!
Yes, the stroke aff
It is the 28th of November today. This morning I've been thinking of tides and change. Lately the only constant in my life seems to be change. I know, change is good, positive, growth encouraging, blah blah. I don't want to hear the platitudes, I'm bored by them all.
Back to change. I'm going to move. I'm giving up this apartment, it is too expensive. I'm going to move where I can get mass transportation. where I can afford to live, some place warm. New York state is to damn expensive.
Ok, e
I woke up at 5 a.m. this morning. As I walked by the kitchen window that faces west, and it had snowed! The snow sparkled and glistened in the glow of the flood light that lights the parking lot. I paused for a few seconds to soak up the feeling of the season's first snow, holding off on pushing the button on the coffee pot.
It seems no matter how old I get, the sight of the first snow is a beautiful thing. All the trees are redressed in white, their forms outlined sharply against the backgro
OK, Vix started me on these thoughts of yearning. She shared about new shoes and not having to wear sneakers any longer. I could relate big time.
I want to get dressed up in dressy clothes again, pants that have a zipper and some sort of button or hook. I want to wear heels. I want to hear myself walking tap tap tap on a wood floor. I want the few inches heels temporarily give me.
Yes, I guess I am missing the part of my life that dressing up makes me feel good about myself. The feeling o
Alexandria P. is my youngest. She is 8 years old today. I talked to her on the phone this morning, she proudly told me she is now all grown up. "Gee, really? I asked her, all grown up to do what?" She just about crowed into the phone, get married. I hope she loses that thought for at least another 2 decades.
Now many may find it hard to believe, but that child is worse attitude wise then I am. I acquired my attitude over the years, she was born with hers. Alex's attitude is balenced with sweet
