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About this blog

Survivors secret journey

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Plodding along on this never ending journey

I an three years post stroke, I have gleefully been rebuilding my life for the last two years, I have been enjoying doing that, excited about all the new things I've been learning, loving the new friends I've made and just overall immersing myself in this new life and living it to the fullest. In the last day or two, my steps have become slower, left foot dragging a bit, I've started plodding along on my journey. I'm getting tired of walking on this path, it is getting boring. Maybe the novel

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Plans for today

Well I am the ripe old age of 42 today for real. I've been claiming that age for months now. Every laugh line and wrinkle and gray hair are mine, I earned them all. That goes for the rolls of fat that have appeared to be happy to have residence on my body. Gee, soon I can start a bakery with all these rolls. OK, enough we all get the picture, I'm ok with how old I am and how I am.   Today is a great day to look forward to as I have an appointment with SVEN, my own personal massuese. Plus, Bil

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Physch test question

Yesterday I was talking with Charles/cbramsey. He had had a physch test done and one of the questions was what does a statue and poem have in common? Now, this has driven me nuts for close to 24 hours now. Does anyone else have the answer? Sandy? Do you know? One other one I knew the answer to was Monarchy Republic I thought that was easy---England. I guess I don't get the purpose of these type of tests. Unless they are designed with the sole purpose to make one lay awake at night tryin

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Phone call from the past...

As some of you know about the old boyfriend who wanted me to call him. He called me last night. Nice guy, good call, no akward pauses, but not for me. He is only a year younger then I am, but at times I felt decades older then him.   He brought up things I didn't remember. Like the time I was 15 and he was 14 and according to him, we were making out on the dock by the school cafeteria during halftime at a football game. He claims I taught him how to kiss. I was the older chick and that idea p

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Perspective

What did I used to do before I gave a thought and some serious attention to perspective?   This morning I was wandering from room to room in my apartment, thinking what I wanted to do today. I wasn't thinking out of boredom or desperation, just planning my day. I realized that I had a desire to be creative amd either do some interior decorating or change a room around. Surprisingly this is how I used to be pre stroke. Post stroke the desire to be creative was like pulling teeth to accompli

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Performing the Survivor Shuffle

We all know what the survivor shuffle is... It is what our gaits look like and our balance is gone when we get tired. For me it becomes one step forward and three steps sideways and then hop around on my right leg to get my balance back. It takes awhile to get to where I want to go doing the shuffle, but I get there eventually. "Eventually" has become my middle name. Why am I mentioning the survivor shuffle? Cause when I am performing my personal version I appear to be drunk, it happens at 9 a

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Party

Well I wrote a blog yesterday, but the site was having glitches, so it got lost. But I hosted a dinner party last night. I was excited as it was my first entertaining attempt in my new place, first attempt, pulling it off doing it all myself. I have to pat myself on the back, I chose well for guests. Two old friends who live alone.   Well they got here early which was great cause I was bored and had everything ready early. So they jumped right in and in no time, dinner was cooked and served

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Our Interesting Blog Community

In the past day or two, there have been some interesting questions posed. I for one never thought I'd keep my blog going beyond the first month or two. But I'm glad I have and I enjoy reading the others blogs. When I do things or something happens, I find myself telling myself that is a good blog entry, I'll have to blog that. And I do. Blogging is also a good place not to have to be politically correct or always proper. We can be ourselves in our blogs. Get to know the person beyond the survivo

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ON THE TRAIL WITH PAM AND BILL

Anybody ever read those Hunter Thompson books about his "trips" while experiencing the effects of psychodelic drugs? One title I remember was "On the trail to Las Vegas" (I think) anyway, after our recent trip south, it has occured to me that who needs psychodelic drugs to experience or see life differently when one has brain damage?   These two strokies made a few mistakes(who was supposed to be paying attention??) but it gave us a real good laugh afterwards. The town we stayed in was a tour

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Oh, my aching feet!

In another lifetime, I was once a waitress. Long shifts or busy nights, my feet would throb aall night long. I haven't waitressed in years, probably a decade or more. But after my grocery shopping trip yesterday, my feet were throbbing all night long. I'm going to one more store today. As I don't know how frequently I'll get a ride to the grocery store, it is safe to say I stocked up yesterday. Yup stocking the bunker more like...... I left at 10 yesterday morning, got back to the apartment at

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NSF!!!!

I felt like blogging this morning. The only topic I could think of to write about is the notice I received from my bank regarding my checking account. It seems the accounting method I adopted for the last year of making a deposit and writing checks and keeping a running tally in my head doesn't really work too well when one has lost the ability for simple addition and subtraction. Duh! What was I thinking???? So needless to say my checkbook is a mess..   Not that my checkbook was ever in grea

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Nothing Part two

Well it is 8:31 a.m. I am showered and dressed, it is raining again, listening to the mellow sounds of John Mayer. Love that guy, would love to meet him. So all in all a quiet time to ponder. Nothing was ramming the walls of my mind to ponder..... Next week I'm back in my official job capacity on the site. I think I'm ready.... I think I have a good grip on everything. I'm not doing to bad on rounding out the edges of my post stroke life. I shouldn't say that as I am trying to be realistic and

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NOT ENOUGH ROCKS

Sometimes there aren't enough rocks to pacify me. But this isn't about me. In fact there is one person who should take what I say to heart. Have you ever asked yourself why no one has seen fit to stay and act like the faithful loyal dog at the masters side? Have you had a taste of the sharp side of the tongue? Wait it will turn on you. Have all the dirty little embarrassing secrets been confided yet? Do you feel good in helping a mentally unstable person in their quest that has become

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Not a pretty post-venting

One of the reasons I liked the whole blog idea right from the first was the ability to vent, to be politically incorrect or just be in a bad mood and no one can say a word or puke all over my blog. It isn't a post on the board where I must balence a fine line between being Marry Poppins and understanding. But I find lately that those survivors that have suffered mild strokes, just can't deal. Maybe I'm at a stage where I have burn out over the whole stroke business. I know I am on one side of th

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NO MONDAY BLUES HERE

It is Monday morning and I feel almost on top of the world today. I just walked to the post office and back, it sits at the bottom of a big hill and I am huffing and puffing and sweating when I get to the top of it. But I did it and I tell myself that at least I can walk the hill. But I have muscles in places that have been at the beach drinking those unbrella decorated drinks for three years and they aren't happy about being called back to work! Yesterday, it was beautiful, 87 degrees, breez

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No Celebration without the suffering.....

When I woke up this morning, I was thinking of taking the easy way or the hard way. Now ever since I was a kid, I have never done anything the easy way. I have a nature that is stubborn and strong willed. I know by being this way, I have made some things harder on myself. But upon reflection I don't think it has hindered or harmed me in any way.   As a teen that had snuck out of the house to go joyriding with friends and I did partake in the 2 liter bottle of 7-UP mixed with a bottle of Sou

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New Endeaver over

Well it is official. I have been fired. Not really in so many words, but told I wasn't needed. The way I see it I have 2 choices here........ I can feel bad that I can't work anywhere, even if I work for free. I could be negative and let this take over my life or I can breathe a huge sigh of relief and say THANK GOD! So guess how I feel right now? Happier then a pig in s***! I tried it, gave it my best shot, know even better what my limitations are. And I'm glad that I don't have to do it

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New Endeaver

I am tired as I write this at 4:25 monday afternoon. First of all this weekend's "trial" has wiped me out. Then this a.m. I had to get blood drawn at the lab.... then I just got home from the laundrymat. I am clockwatching to be able to go to bed.   This weekend I helped my friend Jim out at his Farmers market. I thought when I offered him free help, it would be nothing more then running the register. I thought, I could easily do that. (I had forgotten the survivors golden rule---NEVER TAKE

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My third Anniversary 2/1/05

Well today is the third anniversary of my exclusive membership into this elite fun filled club. I stroked three years ago today. I have no memories of the event. I was on morphine and the docs probably could have cut my legs off at the knees and I would have smiled and laughed and drooled. I was on Morphine and very happy with that drug. It was like being at disney without any tickets. The only thing I didn't like about that day was the tube they had crammed down my throat. I remember hearing wh

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Music and Life

I can't say how many times in my life, I have used music, more specifically women singers and their songs to pump me up and gather my inner forces to do what was necessary. Ever since I was a teen, I have used this method to cope. As a teen it was to break it off with someone who no longer held the important place in my life. I can't say I thought everything out all the way or that I had an end result that wasn't selfish or self centered or even where I would never be considered an existialist(

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Moving Day! 5/14/05

The forcast was for thunder showers and rain all day. But it is a bright sunny day. Which is good as today is the official moving in day. Though most of my stuff is at the apartment, I still have my desk and computer at the house.   I spent most of yesterday at the apartment. My phone, cable and DSL was being hooked up. So I put all those groceries away, unpacked a box or two and started to clean the shower. Well the shower never got finished.... but everything else did. But it was so wierd

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Movie Lists???

I'll give it a go, but I doubt I'll hit 50! I just didn't want to be left out.   1. Love Actually 2.Titanic 3. Dirty Dancing 4. Flashdance 5. My Cousin Vinny 6. Kate and Leopold 7. You've got Mail 8. Sleepless in Seattle 9. Mask 10. Silkwood 11. Kramer vs. Kramer 12.The Horse Whisperer 13.Tootsie 14.The Big Chill 15. Steel Magnolia's 16. Terms of Endearment 17. Notting Hill 18. Meet Joe Black 19. Rocky Horror Picture Show 20. Top Gun   Well that is a

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Mother/Daughters

I'm 41 years old and my mother still hasn't gotten over the fact that I am different then her. I always have been, always will be. My mother was brought up to depend on the man, always wear red lipstick when you leave the house, lean on the "man of the house" to make all the decisions, let the man wear the pants type of thing. Well I missed a class somewhere along the way in how to lean on a man. Sorry, I don't need them to do my thinking for me, I can handle the bills, I have my own checking

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More Critters!

Well Mama Deer doesn't drop in as much but I guess she told her kid it was ok to come here and play. The Baby brings a friend now. Mama used to hang at the edge of the woods and yard and watch baby, but now the large eared baby comes with his friend and they are funny to watch. They kick up their back heels and tear around the yard chasing each other. Then they wander over near the edge of the woods where the grass is tall and they graze and look around as their munching away. I guess the foxe

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Monday Mornings

There once was a time, I used to hate Monday mornings. I was always cranky till 11A.M. or so. Yeah because the weekend was over and it was back to the grind of the work week. Well there was a time shortly after the stroke. I missed the work grind so bad I could feel it inside. But here I am three years out and I love being retired! Monday mornings aren't bad at all. I enjoy the slow pace of going on my patio with my coffee and smoking and just listening to the birds start their morning choru

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