Yesterday I had a moment at work where I was fighting back tears. First of all last week a customer asked me what happened to my hand and told me she noticed because she works at the hospital. As I told her why I couldn't get anymore therapy, I felt like I needed to keep looking. Even though my doctor and his nurse couldn't find any providers in Charlotte that will take my dad's insurance, and I searched the website and called a list of providers myself, I just knew there has to be a provider in
Well the day after my last blog I had another "episode". I woke up that morning and started having a seizure. My whole body was shaking and I was out of it. Then when I looked at the clock again a whole hour had passed. I dont know if I fell back asleep, lost consciousness or what. The good news is it has not happened anymore. It seems like when I dont expect it to happen and dont think about it, it happens. but when im worried and scared to death of falling asleep nothing happens. I went home o
I have been up since 3am. I did not fall asleep until 12am. I got in bed at 9:30 but it took me forever to get to sleep because I was trying to fall asleep wearing the splint. I remember taking it off before I finally fell asleep.) I had usual weird dreams but suddenly as I was laying on my back, I felt like I couldnt move. I began to panic and scream trying as hard as I could to move my body.
Finally I woke up and went to the bathroom. I cant remember the dreams. I really wish I could because
I have been wanting to blog so bad. I had no internet for the last 3 weeks because I moved to a new apartment. I have been really depressed, crying all the time and just feeling horrible. I keep reminding myself of all the great things I have that I didn't have before but its like my brain just doesnt care. I think its the keppra. My neurologist increased my dosage from 500 mg 2x a day to 750 2x a day. I've experienced loss of coordination and dizziness daily. So it makes sense to me that Im pro
Well first of all thanks for your kind words on my promotion. I love you guys. Unfortunately this entry is not so great. Friday night I went to bed late around 2:00 a.m. and I didnt eat any real meals just frozen foods and snacks. I was kind of worried about having seizures because lately for the last week I was either staying up with my cousin for my birthday or stressed out about my mom, neurologist visit and interview. Now that I know my mom is doing better my neuro doesnt think Im having sei
I just wanted to share that I got my first promotion at my job! I have never been promoted before because I have always only worked temporary government jobs. I had to go through the whole application and interview process to get promoted so I am very proud of myself. Most of all I have only been there 6 months and I was picked over a co-worker that has been there for a year.
Sometimes I get frustrated with myself when I don't see someone standing at my desk waiting for help due to my loss o
Well first of all my birthday was pretty good. My cousin/bestfriend came to visit me so we went out to eat and shopping. The only part that sucked is she does not have a license so I had to do all the driving. My weekend turned sour when I went home for my appointment with my neurologist. I found out my mom was in the hospital because she was hemorrhaging. I almost lost my mom to colon cancer back in 99-2001. I took care of her when she was sick and she took care of me when I was sick. So it rea
My wrist was sore for a little bit last week. I tried to wear the new splint to sleep but I kept waking up. Between my sore wrist and search for anti-pronation shoes, I started to thinking man I really need to exercises. Will the new shoes and brace do me any good if I am not doing the exercises I got from PT 6 months ago? So I began searching for my exercises. I looked everywhere then finally found them with my other hospital files.
Unfortunately, I only found 1 page which had exercises I c
Well I have tried finding a psychologist but I couldn't find one. I will have to call around again. I have a list of ones around here in my dad's insurance network. I just made an appointment with my neuro in Fayetteville. I go June 17. I am thankful I did not have to do a medical review with the DMV this year. My next one is not until spring 2014 and I am just praying that I will be seizure free a full year by then so I am going to just confess to my neuro everything and not worry about him put
Telling me to give up my license is like telling me to quit my job. Even when I have the seizures I still go to work and feel fine. I could definitely get hurt at work but I still have a job to do because ssdi just doesnt pay the bills. Its the same story with driving. I never felt dizzy while driving. I did have the grand mal pass out seizure that one time when I got to the store but this was not while I was driving this was as soon as I walked into a store I'd never been to before. I didn't ev
It just happened again. The same thing that happened 2 weeks ago before I went to work. Im laying on my back on my bed with my laptop in front of me surfing the web and I start to feel weird. "Here we go again" I think. "Oh no, God please help me." I say to myself as it feels like someone is squeezing my head. I let my laptop slide onto the bed as the "seizure" takes over. I close my eyes and cover my face as I try to keep from crying waiting for it to end. I think about calling out to my friend
I realized that I had just went to the doctor that same day all that stuff happened in my sleep. The doctor has not called me to come back so I guess everything was normal like it was before. I quit doing e-stim. I have not done it in about 2 weeks. So far so good. I have also been trying my best to cook and eat 3 meals a day.
Last Tuesday I was riding in the car with my friend and I got really confused. It clicked in my brain that we were coming from a different direction and its like my br
Right now my brain is in a fog. I have been having memory loss a lot since..well I cant remember how/when it started but it was around the time I started getting dizzy/ having seizures again..I think. Well lastnight I went to sleep at about 10:30. I think I woke up an hour later. All I can remember is I woke up scared to death and confused, I think I was in my bed. but then I remember getting off the floor. I don't know how or why I was on the floor. Maybe I fell off my bed? So I got back in bed
I was looking at old pictures of me and my arm looked a lot better. I can't even tell there is anything wrong with my left hand.
I want to get back to this so I have been exercising again. These pictures are my motivation. Today when my wrist was getting sore from wearing the splint, I toughed it out and kept it on. I did my e-stim for the 2 one hour sessions. It had been really difficult to get my new splint on at night so I got the orthotist to come back and adjust it for me. He said
I just wanted to blog about something positive. Ever since the seizure/ pass out/ whatever it was, I have been feeling a lot of anxiety, I can't tell if I am feeling the onset of a seizure, regular dizziness, or just anxiety that its going to happen again but it is pretty frustrating. I just have to tell myself "I'm okay. I don't have seizures anymore". I keep repeating it until my mind goes back to normal.
Well I just wanted to share with you guys the joy of moving my hand! I can sleep with th
I heard the birds chirping. so many of them it was like they were echoing waking me up. As I lay on my stomach in my bed I felt my body shaking. My head was being pushed to the side. Here we go again. I felt a lump in my throat so I decided to roll over to my right side only to discover my head felt so heavy. I moved my legs to generate heat under the cover and removed the splint from my left arm. My heart was racing, my body felt chills, but the shaking and nausea stopped. I rolled over to my l
Yesterday I was feeling fine. I went and filled the car up with gas and drove to the grocery store. I parked, put my handicap placard up and walked inside. As I was reaching for a shopping cart I felt myself falling over. It felt like I was shaking. I don't know if I was saying it outloud or thinking it but I could hear myself saying "someone help me. What do i do?" Next thing I know I woke up in the back of an ambulance freaking out and crying because I was strapped down and didnt know what was
Thanks everyone for all of your comments they were much needed and appreciated. When my medicaid starts back up I will ask the doc to find me a therapist. I am reading the Secret and the Law of Attraction still trying to fight the depression and self-harming thoughts. To Sandy, I quit taking the anti-depressant because it was making me feel worse. To those that I chatted with that day, I told my supervisor my vision loss was the cause of me getting my schedule mixed up. She kind of understood I
This entry is not about my hand or my therapy, it is about my emotions. I try to be as positive as I can on here since a couple years back when I vowed to only make positive entries. but I need help. I usually write my depressing thoughts in my notebook but I feel like I reached my breaking point. When I first moved here back in August I attributed the depression to stress from the internship plus classes. I had met a nice guy and he always helped me feel better and motivated me. After quitting
Well today I used my last OT session. It was bittersweet. The good news is I still have time to find a provider in network with my dad's insurance, my OT keeps in touch with me through e-mail, and I got everything I needed. I am very thankful for my OT and I appreciate everything she did to make the most of our 3 brief sessions. I got my NMES unit today. Medicaid has been slow so I did not get my resting hand splint but she did got the orthotics guy my contact information. I don't know it medica
I had my stroke when I was 12 and this year I will be 24. It is kind of scary to think about it. It doesn't feel like it has been that long. 12 years since I could see in both my right and left fields of vision, 12 years since I could clap my hands in church and put my hair up in a cute ponytail. I have been using only my right hand to do virtually everything for 12 years. I have been missing so many people, images of places, objects everything in my left visual field for the last 12 years. I ha
Today was my 2nd session of OT. My therapist is like an angel sent to me. She told me I don't have any tone or spasticity. What I have is muscle shortening. Through splinting we have to stretch those muscles back out. She molded a piece of plastic that goes on top of my wrist and she put some velcro straps around the bottom. I didn't think it would work because Im so used to the plastic being under my wrist and the straps going around the top. But surprisingly it kept my wrist in a neutral posit
I finally met an OT that believes in me. My new OT is really great. Today was my first session of the 3 I get with medicaid. During this session she educated me on the differences between the splints, did some slow stretches with me, did some e-stim with me. and took down my insurance information so we can look into getting me some splints to wear in the day and at night and e-stim to use at home. She also modified my wrist support so it will keep my wrist neutral, gave me a little cylnder to ho
I did my two sessions of PT. I do my 3rd one on Friday. Each time I get different exercises (and its a different therapist). I am really anxious to start OT. Time has gone by so fast. When they told me I would have to wait until next year I was so disappointed but my OT evaluation is actually next Friday (January 4) I got 7 exercises to do at home from PT and boy do I feel the stretch. I felt like I just had my stroke the day before I last went to therapy. I felt so helpless and kind of bad. I
I went to see the bioness rep yesterday for a follow up with my ness h200. I got kind of frustrated with him. He was irritated that I had used the bioness for too long. One day I used it for 4 hours when I was not supposed to ever use it for more than a hour and a half a day. This was the same day I had the seizure in my sleep so Im guessing too much e-stim that day could have been a contributing factor to my dizziness. I was afraid of getting dizzy again so I quit using the bioness for about a
