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About this blog

stroke survivorthoughts

Entries in this blog

man's search of a meaning by victor Frankel

right after my stroke I struggled with depression & I depended heavily on spiritual books & biography of inspirational people, they gave me strength to go on, when I could not find any in my own, that time I read victor frankl's mans search of a meaning & it resonated fully with me, I needed purpose bigger than myself to  give good fight to stroke & that I found in my 7 year old son. some of the quotes of victor frankl which resonated with me I am noting it here so that I can als

we are back home from our amazing vacation

We are back home happy & safe, this year we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. I am usually vacation planner at our home, I wanted to go to Greece, but due to covid uncertainties hubby's suggestion was we should go somewhere in USA only.  one of our earlier vacation we took in USA is California with our son who was still baby & was in car seat  & in diapers, we had drove from sanfranscisco to Arizona covering all national parks,17 mile drive in Monterey Bay & had so much fu

I keep on coming back & marveling at my own life & amazed by how it has shaped up my life with my own choices

I do believe wholeheartedly choices we make in our life creates our destiny, I know that for fact. I have made some great choices in life & some not great, that's why I am happy with wherever I am today in my life. I feel all those experiences were needed for me to become the person I am today. Some choices I made out of my own stubbornness to prove it to parent(Mom) I am no less in my brilliance just because I am girl & should be provided equal or more opportunities because I am capable

I feel blessed that I married such a secure & confident guy who is always enabler

like I said before recently reconnected with old friend who used to proclaim that he loved me, but was so insecure that minute I got into Engineering  due to my good grades & he did not, he stopped the teasing & chase, I guess he realized I was in different league now. So I very nicely finished my undergraduate degree in Engineering & after I finished my degree parents found guy who was more educated than me   & was here in USA pursuing his graduate degree, hubby met my brother &

how doing simple things increases your self confidence & make you feel good

I am avid reader & love reading self help & inspiring books. those books make me realize accidentally or out of self preservation I have been doing right things  which normal people will think its common sense thing, but for me those were fought hard & bumped into brick wall & then learnt lessons kind of a deal which helped me immensely in rebuilding my new normal again. like I had said earlier  recently after reconnecting with my childhood friend I started paying attention to my

science of well being

I have signed up for this free course on coursera for science of well being, taught by Yale professor & it is required class for Yale students.  It is great course, I wish it will be required course for all kids & human beings to learn how our brain works. I feel after my stroke when I was very unhappy with my life, slowly & steadily with trial & errors I found great books, support group  & found my happy place again, & while doing this course & my life experiences, I

I feel so blessed and realizing God has been alongside me & carrying me through my life in good times & in bad times

recently I connected with my childhood friend  in India on facebook & that inadvertently brought in friend who was relentlessly teasing me & professing love for me in those teenage young years in India . I ended up just talking with the guy  at that time to make him stop that endless teasing,  luckily as soon I went into engineering school, he realized  & gave up the chase. So  I nicely finished my Engineering college with peace & married the guy my parents chose for me. Now fast

Happy New year & glad to be still here after suffering another stroke

Happy New year every one. 2020 is finally over & 2021 is here, & I realized our son is my guardian angel who saved my life multiple times.   First time when he was born he was such a big baby & way too comfortable inside, sot they had to induce me so that our prince will be born  but he started to show sign of discomfort so doctors had decided to do c-section, and he was born at 9-1/2 lb & 22 inch long baby, so I ended up in the hospital for 5 days on bed rest  & ev

feel so grateful this thanksgiving

I feel so grateful to be still around in 2020 after going through some dark curve-ball of stroke in 2004, and still be around to enjoy the life with complete new outlook on life. In 2020 I feel grateful to see all my friends and family safe and sound even though my sister & brother in law got covid but they recovered fully grateful on my birthday hubby & I took day off & visited green lake state park in NY , which turned out to be fun & beautiful day trip grateful 

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HostAsha in my personal thoughts

you got to be whole when you are in any relationship- sage wisdom

Some of you who know me, I am heavy into uplifting books, inspiring biographies & oprah's Super soul sunday where she gets accomplished leaders, thinkers  which I have realized based on where I am in my own journey find great AHA moments to cliche lines.  Anyway enough of background  recently Oprah had Michelle Obama on her show talking about her "becoming" book great book, if any one wants to read & get inspired by how to be great mom or wife this book is quite inspiring.  One of intere

inspiring words by Eleanor Roosevelt

Right after my stroke when I was deep in dumps of despair I  found strength in inspiring people like FDR who even being disabled got country out of deep depression & started so many great projects in America, funded & created national parks, social security  & even made bank accounts FDIC so that common people don't loose their hard earned money.  I was amazed & inspired by Eleanor Roosevelt who was close confidant & his partner in all senses. Recently I read one of her quote

God is so kind to us & I feel so grateful

Things are not finalized yet but its moving into right direction, so I have to share my joy.  hubby  has spent his first few years of his life in village in India with his family & is very fond of his native place, & even after moving to city in India his family has connection with village which has our very powerful community God we all believe in  & his whole family & extended family will gather their once a year for special prayer ceremony. Usually now in village there are mos

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HostAsha in my personal thoughts

feel like looser so just rambling here

ok today is not a good day feel like complete looser & failure in life  & always needing in help in all wakes of my life. I guess in life you will have both kind of days some good some bad, today is that kind of day feeling like complete looser. I recently lost my diamond erring for my one ear which is side I prefer to sleep on. also had fight with hubby about some some personal home related issue where I said some hurtful things to him & even said hurtful things about our family God

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happy 29th wedding anniversary to us

today is our 29th wedding anniversary. We have been through enough ups & downs in life & still thankfully standing strong. This year I made nice imovie for our wedding anniversary with romantic, meaningful Indian song playing in the background while going through our 29 years of pictures slideshow. I was hoping that kido will help me in making it, but I had used up all his goodwill for mothers day & his dad's birthday movie, so he was not in mood to help me, & if one thing stroke

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I feel so sad for anyone who gives up the fight of their life

Recently in India very talented young 34 year old actor committed suicide. he was such young, lovable good-looking  guy & stupid guy just ended his life, he was depressed about loosing some good movie opportunities, breakup & so on which made him take that drastic step. It shook me up since he did that at the same age when I went through my own lean phase of life & had same bright ideas about it, but luckily had young family at home so had no courage to act on that bright stupid idea

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fathers day 2020 special

as all of you aware of we have only one child & he has always been his dad's boy, love & bond between them is truly unconditional. mine is not as much, I love him but I also get mad at him when he does not listen  to me & argues back. Anyhow in this pandemic he had come & stayed with us few months when his college ws in lockdown, but summer came along & his paid internship  was starting & he was missing his friends so was itching to go back to college & left. while go

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why do we view change as bad

Its weekend so time to think deep thoughts. I was thinking about how we are all averse of changes in our life specially unplanned  or unexpected changes which shows up  in our life like illness,accidents or job-loss.  how all these changes rattles our boat & we get so unsettled, upset about it, without knowing future, we just hate all unwelcome change. I know I did it when I faced my stroke in my life. I thought my life was ruined & I will never find joy in living again.    I u

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today is very special day its my soumate my sarathi's birthday

I am so excited today is my soulmate's 60th birthday. We have been together for almost 30 years. we have spent 14 years o our pre-stroke life together &  16 years of post-stroke life together & still going strong. My hubby is very practical person  man of his words, if he said he will be there for our son's game or practice then I don't have to worry, I know he will be there. If he has to take me to my long list of doctors appts or fill in confusing paperwork, he will finish the job, &am

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whats the purpose of life

As you guys know hubby & I both have similar spiritual traits, though I feel he is ahead in his spiritual journey where I still have lot to learn, when kido was around lot of time discussion on our dinner table will be on lot of these spiritual topics, kido gets entertained by hubby & mine total different view points  about life& he will support me or hubby  based on who is winning the argument.   Our recent discussion recently made me see how right hubby is & with that

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Happy Mothers Day 2020

Happy Mothers day to all mothers here. This Mothers day is most special mothers day for me its year 2020 when every one is quarantined & staying home & can't go anywhere. I asked our son to make mothers day video with song for his grandma, & his dad asked him to do for me too. He did amazing job & sent it to me on mothers day making this year so special. I realize my biggest accomplishment in life is our son  who by becoming doctor will make a difference in people's lives. today

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only constant in life is change

life is all about changes only change is constant. I have noticed for my mental sanity, I thrive on having routine in life, &  keeps me centered & happy in life's journey. after my stroke & early retirement from the job I struggled for almost 9 months till I found my routine, which included my exercise, online support group, & reading good uplifting spiritual books helped me. I found truckload wealth of information in our hindu scripture book bhagvad-Geeta. It felt like God was a

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HostAsha

some days feel so alone in this world & realize ui have come to this workd alone & will leave alone too

ok maybe its PMS days, but some days even though I am surrounded by friends & family I still feel all alone in my life, & with this isolation I hate being couped up inside home, being survivor & all this horror stories of virus hubby does not feel me comfortable venturing outside, so I stay inside though today being frustrated with whole world I went out for walk & lo behold tripped on my pant leg & fell, luckily just t few bruises got up & started walking back home again

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HostAsha

something you learn from your childrens friends

As you guys know I love to read books & blogs, they both are the reason which saved me from my dark thoughts & made me go AHA I get it now so many times in my post stroke journey. kido's friends are all in different fields, some have gone in pursuing degree in medical field, some in engineering field & some in journalism. All are doing well in their  chosen fields. One of his friend is in journalism & I have been reading her essays  for long time, make me amaze how this 20 plus s

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adore my weekends & my AHAs

This Saturday class was no different in feeding my soul with goodness in life & getting me prepared in providing tools in whatever we may come in my life in future.  One of the best teaching of our Geeta class this weekend were two things & if I am able to master these two things then life will be truly bliss 1. lesson is whatever karma(or actions I am doing do it as my offering to God without any attachment to results 2. whatever results I get it from those action take it as G

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my super soul saturday

As you guys are aware favorite part of my weekend is to spend time on things which feeds my soul. Saturday is the time we spend learning & discussing our ancient literature bhagvad Gita. I find in that particular book all questions we human being face are answered like  what's the purpose of this life & what is right thing to do in this particular situation &  so on  & those other self defeating thoughts too , like  why do it in fear of failure & so on. In this particular boo

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HostAsha