Well the day finally happened. The day my husband said he can't disassociate the 'new' me from the 'old' me. That was my fear. I still have no memory of me before and told him I always felt like I was being punished for something I didn't do. He likes the new me better.
Frankly I feel happier. Not sure what to do. I'm sure that is his hangup.
We're still happy but we were out to dinner last night ( PS when my husband cooks we always go out... I love when he cooks lol) and my son got a f
it has been a while since I've been in here but I feel the need to ask for help. I have been having some emotional problems. I need therapy but with the lack of transportation,, well you get the drift. I am becoming so sensitive to people and tones of voices. My brother-in-law and I have always bumped heads. It started with the birth of my youngest son. We got married just a month before we gave birth. My health insurance still had my maiden name on it so when I had my son and was just waking u
so today is a "MS" kind of day. Meaning my brain and body don't work together. That has caused some of a headache for me because I feel as if I'm letting my husband down. I know he is under stress and working that makes him tired but still it bothers me. I can't shake that feelings.
I'm not like his mother and he knows that and loves me for that but she was a subservient person who never worked to stay home a run a family. I know she didn't go through a stroke but I feel I need to be hand
Well I'm having a hard time excepting what happened. I'm meeting with my parents on Wednesday so maybe we can work this out. They are two of my best friends. I know that I should look at my short term memory as a blessing but I don't. It scares me to not remember anything of my life before this. My kids young, growing up... all gone. I asked my husband not to compare me to how I was for I cant remember. This is the new me and i have to embrace it.
I go round in circles with this. It's like
I'm not a good catholic Without thinking I put a Roast into the crock pot. I'm catholic and my husband isn't.( We didn't get married in the church) salad her I come.. I digress As many times I sit here and listening to my IPod and jamming to all kinds of music. Loud.I mean LOUD but that is one of my coping skills I do. As far back as I can think i was falling back to music to help. This may not mean anything to some but I read some blogs and blogging is a coping mechanism to but I hope that thi
Well today is my son's 8 birthday. I feel so amazing, I baked him a cake and pancakes for breakfast. Yet I feel so bad because I don't remember my oldest sons birthday. I can't always keep on beating me down for having to work so much when he was younger. I had to. I left his father who was abusive to me to move back to New Jersey. Don't get me wrong I'm not sorry I left just merely sad that all the things I am able to do with my youngest son were not with my oldest. In time he will look back o
today I find myself between a rock and a hard place. My eldest son lives in Florida with his dad who in the long run agreed to keep my son ( after 16 years but I digress lol) So he called me up asking me if I could help him financially for spring break. I have the money and he is my son. Of course I would help. Here is where the problem is... My husband. His step-father. He feels like since he is now living in Florida with his father, let him handle it. But HE IS MY SON I understand that my hu
I haven't been ln here for a while I guess that is because the weather has gotten warmer and I'm trying ti ride my bike more. Anyway.. I'm falling into a bit of a funk for I'm trying to loss this stroke weight and I lost 50lbs before in like 3 months by riding my bike. Granted I was able to go 20 miles a day and also was pre stroke. I think that is the hardest part. My Physician also informed that some of the medicines I take also contribute to my inability to lose weight. It sounds so petty but
I was in New York for my eye therapy as I am every Saturday. I met a lovely woman who was visibly upset because she is a functional woman who has double vision when she reads. I know trying to read when experiencing double vision is difficult. Well as I sat across the room from her and listening to her speak to the doctor, I was compelled to speak, When the doctor left i added a few words of encouragement. I simply explained I had a stroke and still suffer from double vision, Day but day i get
it's been a while since I've been here. So still busy counting down the days till summer then I can complain about it being so hot.So sitting here listening to my music and thinking ti myself... self I said... ' I really can't remember my life before the stroke. Now not sure if that's a good thing. I spoke to my husband about that the yesterday. I know i wasn't just born like "POOF" one day I was here, but that's how i feel. I know I was little and had memories....... ((sigh)) I'm sure over time
Is that spring lurking in the corner?
I think so and that's what keeping me positive. I can't wait to have the smell of life in the air. Before my stroke I rode my bike 20 miles a day and lost 50lbs. I know I can't do that but when I'm outside , I can ride forever. The weather has been horrible here. I've spent three days in a row in bed and slept. I would have written that off a being lazy. I now know that if I'm tired, I must need it. Well. I must have needed it. Boy I have the most under
well my husband nailed it on the head, I'm paranoid about other people judgement about me. I am the first one to help a friend in need but I have moments which I totally cave and give in to the same collections of thoughts I have to help others. I guess because I'm coming up to two years I'm just having a moment, I'm not sure.I have to explain myself over and over to people. I'm not sure. I guess when looking at me you would never think anything was wrong and that's why. OR I prided myself as be
Today was my follow up appointment for my elbow at the Rothman Institute. I must be honest I was looking forward to it for my doctor is just a beautiful looking man. It turns out i have the beginnings of carpel tunnel. So not only do I have right side weakness but I have to wear s big brace that also has a brace for my thumb. Typing is a challenge but oh well.Life goes on. I had a good day with my husband and that's all that counts
Well yesterday started out as a great day. Knowing another storm is going to hit us, my husband decided to make Italian sweet sausages for dinner. He did all the things needed. Cooked, served and it was delicious. Unfortunately, I've gone one a low salt diet for my heath and KNOW this dinner for tonight isn't good. You should have smelled it. AMAZING. Dinner went great. As we sat down for television time.. you know when your blood pressure has shot up and you feel like you're drunk?... yeah.
well I wake up this morning knowing it's not a good thing to jump on a scale everyday...... So what do it do? Jump on the scale. Upset for another three ponds but I'm not putting into consideration that Ive been doing Wii Fit. Why am I so obsessed with weight? Well my parents are very health conscience and I am too. I have to o tell myself that I'm eating more calories then I can burn off. I'm not eating the wrong foods just not as active as I once was. An you know.. that's OK. I give some excel
Well I see how this is very therapeutic to so many people so I must concede . I've started to not down myself as much anymore. That is a good thing, In the time frame of strokes, I guess I'm still a newbie, Two years in isn't that much. I used to beast myself down about my weight but not remembering much about me in the past has given me a good leg up on building self esteem. Coming from a size 6-8 to much more now is difficult but I have a man that is standing by me every step of the way. He ha
