.GymSO THIS IS MY 6TH YEAR! I am blessed. I think. I am not much changed in the pandemic living in a nursing home. I see people every day so I'm not really isolated. So it's scary. But then again I am grateful for the help and Company. But they have us isolated from each other so I miss seeing my friends. But I see plenty of staff so I don't see how I am that much more protected because the staff are out in the world and my next door neighbor is not. So some of us have going into each other's ro
I am truly lucky to be both a stroke survivor and the Survivor of a major heart attack and I now have a heart full stance on the right and on the left pulmonary hypertension and lymphedema and and and and I realized that everyday I wake up it's a gift and that means so much now that I'm living in pandemic and I have thought so many times before that it would have been easier if I had not survived the stroke. But my children were angry and said couldn't I see if they were trying so hard to make m
We're all sort of leaving a type of Groundhog Day it seems to start with the news in the morning finding out how many more people we lost overnight all over the world even I've become much more aware that would happens on one side is going to happen on the other and that each of us is going to be affected. And each of us is getting our morning coffee at some time during the day but we are in different places. Frankly I'm sick to my stomach when I hear people whining in their mansions playing the
My daily AND Quarantine Routine...
7AM (Oh What a Beautiful Morning) toast and peanut butteragain
9AM (Acuna Mattatta..).watch lion king and nap
10AM...order Amazon goodies because as Jerry Herman advises ("We Neeeeeed a Little Christmasmmright now")
Noon ......Call friend (Hello Dolly)
cancel appointment(And I am Telling You I am Not Going) and engage in some therapeutic coloring
2PM...Little Anthony calls then..(And I think I,m Going Out Of My Head..)... the
I was sitting in a movie theater watching a movie enjoying some popcorn with my son and all of a sudden I started feeling like I really needed to get my bra off eyebrow is way too tight then that pain radiates down my left shoulder and arm and even my hand and I thought something's not right here I just couldn't get a full breath even with that darn tight bra off and I did something which I never thought I do in my lifetime I leaned over and I asked my son if he could please unhook my bra becaus
I just feel like I have to get this off my chest or I'm going to burst. Right now I really need to get my spinal RFA and I'm having to ask the doctor to up my medication because it has been 4 months. I needed it scheduled at the 3-month Mark I can't go beyond that I've told them before. But they were trying to get me in again for the surgery which I have not been well I've had multiple sinus issues in fact I'm going to see a specialist for a second time and get a CT scan this week. That's someth
And I mean the kind of things that are on PowerPoints or you know list those kind of things oh the word finding problems I have! Anyway I've missed everybody and mostly missed the days when this group was my daily meal. But maybe I can try to explain my last year.
* NOV I did the spinal trial and surgery was planned for April for perm electrode
*Then after Christmas I had Cellulitis over amd over for months
*They said I have kidney disease amd heart failure disease d
So today My Doc said right lung sounds like it is not filling up all the way prob due to the edema problem. This year I am really suffering with edema stuff. So up diuretics and hope kidneys still function well in 2 weeks. Then it took me 4 hours to be transported home. The man who dropped me off is a bully. Everyone at the home heard him telling my cna that in 10 minutes he would leave without me. Well I was waiting for help getting in my wheel chair and hang my bag on it. I have a tote I got i
! I can't believe this April already! And I can't believe how long it's been since I've done a Blog. So much has happened all of your prayers have helped the miracle that has happened in my life. I was on antibiotics IV plus pills well the ivy was 10 days the pills was like a month and still I had fluid weeping out of my legs. Now I have a lymphedema condition they say and they said just elevate your legs and keep it on this diaper here so that all this fluid doesn't keep getting all over the be
Suffering is something I am good at. I ha ve constant pain, not chronic. I am always in pain. It is my life. I am able to color and watch movies and eat and do thngs that they determine are all signs that I am not having a 10 day.
I am in the hospital right now. I had to get myself to urgent care, then they sent me to the
ER and then IWAS put upstairs. cellulitis again in my legs, but this time my right heel has a bed sore. not a blister, this is agony, who will get me what I
I have a sinus infection,yeast infection,fungalinfection,and need to use a bipap machine but cannot breathe with my nose right now....
Nutshell of misery is enduring the virus that I am hosting in my body
My body that feels constant pain in my right leg for no reason except just because ...and it is not a belly ache as some mock. NO it is burning at the stake pain, a live amputation. I Do So have a good pain tolerance!!! I have been through labor and childbirth and a C
After hearing the radiologist insist I return immediately for a biopsy my gut reaction was of course THIS is not happening. I asked for a 2nd opinion. She returned and said the head of the dept. Of this prestigious teaching medical university hospital in So Cal_ said two areas of interest and one should be done immediately and the other area could be checked at next available appt. Wow. It sounded serious. They even scheduled and all before insurance pre auth!
I cried. In front of th
I sat on the table with a pair of leggings on and a thin robe undone clutched around me like a shield warding off the words no woman or man wants to hear.
And No person with CPS can tolerate.
The radiologist wants me to schedule a biopsy ASAP for 2 suspicious spots in my L breast.
I said BUT I am going to have an electrode implanted.
Then the following words floated in the air hovering over me making sense no xsense then just being:
"Oh you pe
8XyM.*I now am battery operated!
I got a chance to speak to the rep from the company ,. He was there helping the doc.
It was not that bad.
The doc said he thot they would have to stop. My bp went to 200. Ya. Hurt a bit.
But I did it!
So I had to reposition 3 times. I did push ups! Not easy on a op bed thing. But they finally got the right angle.
The curve in my back was in his way.
Then too flat.
Ok. Took experimenting. One more
I go in the morning to try the thing.
I am scared.
I must shower tonite. Now this is a problem as usual.
I have new roommate. I have not seen her yet.
My admirer brought me a veggie drink that is horrid. Thought counts. He said old witch former roomie told him I had surgery tomorrow. I said No I did not. It is a procedure
I will be awake.
I will endure pain.
I will feel the nerve bundle awake as tūhey thread wire leads into my spine with a
A supervisor that used to care for me still does and I gave him a run for the money headache when I first arrived here in agony.
He went to Paris and brought back Miraculous Mary medallions in a laminated wallet card with a prayer on it. He saw my rosary and we chatted about Catholicism and he promised me one. Last week he appeared with it. I am so grateful for this gesture and I believe in the strength he has loaned to me.
I also appreciate that some know me here understand me
On Nov 9th I will go in for the Electrode trial.
I am tired of pain.
Risky but I will bet all on table now. I live in agony in a world that sees only weakness in it not the strength it has taken to live since 2014 in pain.
And I need pain pills on time.
So the home has policy that pills given in room omly. I got stuck inthe showers and no pain pill given. Policy first.
I need freedom.
I am with a roommate like my twin.
We watch movies together , talk during a thunder storm the other night, and talk about how I got diagnosed with stroke pain.
I see her problems that are similar to mine,similar to CPS. But she calls it neuropathy. She is not diabetic. I asked how did you get neuropathy and she said after her stroke, but she never heard of stroke pain.
This is our book. I read it to both my kids,chanted those lines as long as I remember,meant them with every fiber and will always.
I recall when the kids became the adults caretaking their mother. It seems impossible the anger bitterness hurt that festered to a head.
Once my daughter's pediatrician when she was a teen gave her acne med saying our closeness was evident so she trusted My daughter would confide problems that arose.
Well we had typical stuff. My son
I am sad I not hear from my son
He not text and say he understands the misunderstanding on my text or explain his emotional outburst I was not expecting. I hurt and miss him dreadfully.
Is he so mad he will cut off paying for my cell phone which not only gives me netflix but also enables me to schedule my medical appointments and transportation. Our phone jacks in room do not work and and I would need to use phone at nurses station. I appreciate he says to me that it is his turn. How
I was visited by Health Department regsrding a complaint I made againt a nurse for being an abusive bully insulting me and interfering with me getting to urgent care...where they called an ambulance to escort me to the ER and then I was admitted to the hospital.....so now that nurse still cares for me but cannot contact me so someone else brings my meds....... This was a complaint I made last year....so the HD said I got the name wrong...oops well lets recall who told me a wrong name around here
I play cards with a 96 yr old WWII vet who exercised women on base. She won a silver medal in diving at olympics. The local papers toot her praise. She is athlete and scholar with phD. She now is hard of hearing and losing sight but she is sharp. She plays cards always. Before meals....she plays Solitaire or plays Rummy with others.
She counts cards and knows when one is missing at end od play. She could catch a cheater.
She taught me to play double solitaire.
When we see eachoth
111I told my driving company do not send me a lift because I have vertigo. I guess when I topple off when I get dizzy they will take me seriously.
I fall asleep. Whenever. In public. While eating. So after passing out in my bathroom they need to watch over me.
They are saying it is the drugs making me sleepy. Plus I need more rest. SO I climb in bed and nap.
But then I am lazy right? Cmon.
I need my pain med on time.
Yes I am on SO much.
I go a
PAM'S PAIN PRECEPTS
1. Never touch my leg. It burns next to the eternal yule log.
I have been branded by the touch of others. But with permission all is well.
2. I feel stabbed in my leg, calf or foot. I walk slow because it seems like butcher knife follows me stabbing me in mý calf.
3. Wake me for pain pills or prepare for me to wail for for hours until the next dose.
4. Sometimes I just need to color all night. My symptoms hurt.