I just changed my theme to Summer. I love this cheery background that makes me feell all summery. I had another theme up and then I didn't even have one just used the plain. But the background inspires and encourages me. I am so glad we have these to choose from. Ilike this on so much.
Do you have a favorite?
I am locked out of my brand new cell phone. I used my fingerprint to unlock it but it says Not A Match. So I called to fix it. I needed to open old accounts I cannot recall because it was all automatic remembered by computer. So it took some doing to prove it was me simply because the fingerprint thing said it was not me. So the security is great. But when I need to prove it is me now then it is hard. Besides those passwords were created by another version of me in my old life. my real life.
My medication was switched with my neighbor friend
But i caught it. Dint take her meds. She took mine. But the nurse said it was tylenol she took She vomited all night and says she cannot keep her eyes open. It was lyrica 300 and long acting opana 10 mg. Opana is not to be given unless prior opiates used.
The nurse said he had tylenol in the med cup and that my cup was still on the cart. I told the next nurse that came on and asked her to check on her as the nurse said she did not know anyt
My therapist is ending our sessions now and says lets reevaluate at the end of the year. She gave me homework.
But my going to PT is more than the session. I do more walking than I used to do. It is my outing day I ride in van and sit in cafe and the lobby. I love my time alone still in safe environment.
I am done. For now.
Stop telling me to live in the moment. Some moments are painfully unbearable and only tolerable because I can remember a past memory that brings a smile as I relive it. Or project me into the future away from now. That vacation spot that is put off but would be as perfect if real.
I need to look ahead to a nice luncheon out in the real world. I want to sit on the fringe looking at my old familiar and visiting for a while. Shopping walking in a mall talking in restaurant sightseeing. I am mor
Today I sit on the patio outside. I asked.I was told the charge nurse had to be told because who would be responsible.
Then I was outside.
Funny how my moody blew free in the breeze and my heart warmed in sunlight.
Problem Thoughts stuck on the screen door insisting to be revived by anxiety but my feet tingled with the memory of waltzing through uncut grass.
What has come over me that even the reflection in the glass seemed straighter thinner taller and smiling.no.grinning.
Outside looking
My mother always said jealousy is a disease. I always thought it an odd saying.
I moved into a lovely room with my friend from bingo In January. We were close through quarantine for a month when Norovirus hit. We stayed well too. But over time a more hideous disease struck. Roomie was jealous over every thing. Every person. When I started doing art with others because she was not interested, she was jealous. She demanded supplies she never used from activity director. Director stopped buying
I ran into my former physical therapist from a year or so ago.She commented on progress she saw,and I told her she was an important person in my life of recovery because she talked about things I was experiencing, believed me,assured me I was not crazy. She encouraged me to walk. I confided in her about my experiences in the nursing home. I told her I now had a patio so I could see the sun and a roommate who did not have the problems the other one did. She noticed I smiled and enjoyed the momen
Some said try it. But I just closed one eye. Reading is Breathing. I worked hard to get my eyes working together but the double blur Annoys me. I Look normal in my glasses so none know the world I walk in. Moving patterns,Double then one then double,no depth, people moving too fast too close. Closed eyes makes my head spin. Lose my place in space.
So do I cover the weak or strong eye? The discussions continue. When will this end? ]So I detest a pirate patch, sticky p one. So online I find a gl
One day I happily shopped for Newborn layette stuff for my first grandchild. My daughter chose little clothing items with a little dog on them and a matching stuffed doggie music box that played How much is that doggie in the window. Tiny doggie booties. Small blankets and beanies to swaddle our tiny baby boy. I fell asleep that night thinking about my daughter's birth and first little days so filled with joy that any problems drifted So far away we seemed untouchable from the outside circle.
Mothers Day used to be magical. Homemade cards and pictures,bead necklaces I wore later to work,and hugs galore. Later on, tickets,dinners,texts. Glorious time changed pages. Mothering often disrespected forgotten. Heart lined with velvet faded and worn still beating out love no matter what.Alone. No one needing a hand to hold. A job well done. Proud weeping. Better way as I drift to mist. I can walk off stage now unnoticed. This next Act is all for me.
If you put every picture straight then its kinda boring, you can try to plan it out but you end up making it up as you go,mistakes blend in eventually,it always feels like it needs more and is never finished, it fits together like it was all designed to, some mistakes look better than the plan.
I make collage on a poster board with my next door neighbor. I saw her sitting by window alone, so I kept inviting her to bingo. Eventually she said yes. She aLways goes now. When I wanted to be her r
My Neighbor passed away. She was next door and my othher friend who collages with me was her roomate. I was cutting out magazines with one friend while the other struggled for each breath and endured the comfort care of hospice which looked dangnabbed horrific. I never saw anyone on their death watch. Her daughter was there as much as she can.we talked.I felt like I should pray but she was not religious. I did it silently. Cancer caused unrelenting pain.They kept her snowed under. Yet she still
Where did my posts go? I probably hit a button that erased me my thoughts
Feelings bundled in words. Oh well. More where that came from. Plus I do love a retelling.Just please do not let me dissappear.
Today in PT I did lots of vestibular exercises. Therapist said we have to go slow or I may suffer the rest of the day.
But when I was on treadmil I worked through the pain until agony forced me to stop. I did the exercises to help me read with 2 eyes. I am good at using only left one. Or I see double. But I do not have good pain relief. Yes the procedure helped. It was hoped it would work just the medication but the opana does not help very well. I am suffering off and on. Sometimes I can b
My daughter was sent home from the ER told it was the beginning of a miscarriage that will complete by week's end.Well the baby has hung in there rolling around oblivious to any danger. Ironically this happened to me when pregnant with this daughter!
My daughter said Now the Worry starts! I had an eye rollin belly laugh.
This time is scary.We are reminded life is a gift bestowed. We all pray pleadingly. What a miracle indeed.
I am blessed for having this time with daughter.
Today there was a celebration in the Dining Room. I had not set foot in it since that day I was told to give up my seat. I went to be with my friends here. I sat with friends near kitchen door
There was wine,cider,nibbles on small plates,And green shamrocks all around.A male nurse gave me a shamrock lantern that decorated the nurses station. It sits in cherished spot on nightstand.
We listened to a Harp player,and watched Children doing Irish Dances. It was lovely.
A party. A celebratio
I had to fast no food for 6 hours,with the last 2 hours no liquids NPO. Afterwards My blood sugar was 60 after I asked them to check it. They offered me juice boxes of orange juice and graham crackers while I waited 20 minutes in recovery.
I did not even change my clothes into a gown. I had an IV with a mild sedative in my wrist so I could be on my tummy on pillows. There was one nurse watching by the IV,and another one reminding me to breathe deeply. A xray machine was on my right with a m
I told my roomate. She worried I would tell the nurse here. She is on 2 percoset. She has seen me in crisis. I hope the doc here will not let me suffer. This pain Is real. I am going to PT now. I want to walk again without pain. Without Dizziness. Wishing doesnt make it so.Believing helps me work. But Pain Relief makes working possible.
Now 8 am alone. Worse. My doc is unsupportive and will influence other docs here. I question am I wrong. Am I hooked on these pills. Am I the same ?
It takes trust. I questioned,I complied when I was unsure. The doc said I exasperated her,she broke my trust when sh did not respond to my calls when I tried a new medication. She said I had run out of opiates when there are others to try. She said I made her feel like she failed and she had nothing to offer. She said that pain is a matter of choice,a cognitive decision.
I said I cannot will the pain away, but 0I would try biofeedback. Since I had the procedure,she said I do not need meds.
I immediately did not have pain relief,but half an hour later I was walking around good with less pain than usual. Now 48 hours later I have Reduction of pain. Not total absence of pain,but for me it is miraculous. I am still in pain but much improved. I was scared but not as muucH. Miracle!
I immediately did not have pain relief,but half an hour later I was walking around good with less pain than usual. Now 48 hours later I have Reduction of pain. Not total absence of pain,but for me it is miraculous. I am still in pain but much improved. I was scared but not as muucH. Miracle!
I have been cutting out magazine pictures & gluesticking them onto black posterboard. That should keep me busy. I like just cutting out what catches me: words,Colors,items,faces.
I made one once and framed it. It was things I liked in mags in one color. Well this is a huge one filled with things that express me my life. It is a spiritual journey,and a good cutting exercise. I sit by the window enjoying the cats,butterflies,flowers,green grass,sunshine. There is norovirus and C Diff here so
I saw the ultrasound showing my child's child. I love.
Life is now. Surviving is not an interruption. It is a destination saying you have arrived here. I see the interruption is between life and death,not my Old life or Me and when will I recover as good as new.
I lost everything as a result of my stroke. Every Thing in my life. Then. But not my future,as far as I am allowed to go.
I am grateful.
