I woke drenched in sweat,dripping in my eye,burning. Sheet soaked,gown soaked. Cold.
I hurt,felt odd,nausea waves,shakey. I felt afraid but familiar now as I pressed the call button. The cna came and I explained why I needed the nurse. She told me the nurse was on break and I was feeling the way I do because I take too many pain pills. I lost my cool and hollered an order to her to go get the nurse and dont stand there telling me ...and Here I stopped myself from cussing...but she had already l
I needed yeast infection meds sisters. I had days of IV antibiotics and capsules. I told the nurse first thing in the morning. Then nurse said waiting on pharmacy. For hours and hours. So after dinner I was wtflowersbloominmad.
I called the pharmacy to ask what was going on..like insurance problem...the delivery driver...what?
The pharm informed me they did not have Any rx for it!! So I informed the nurses and they faxed it again they said. The next morning I still did not have any meds. But
I took pictures,made albums, used cam corder for events, but I wonder what life would be like if I posted life to the public. And who watches strangers, or even friends when they record stuff. I watched a you tube with adorable kid. ok sweet fummy, but then there were other videos, going on for years, about the kid,the family, and suddenly half an hour later, I had watched,birth, vacations, and this child growing over the years,and I felt like it was some movie,and hey I cant wait for the next o
A few days per week, we play Bingo and sit at the same seats ususally. So we had just finished a game and we were waiting to collect our prizes. The staff was going through the shift change and the talking was loud in the common room next to the nurse's station. But I never mind because the air is coolest in this room and I ususally bring a scarf or wrap for when the air conditioning is too enthusiastic.One of the CNAs said, "I just want to fix her hair!" and she was looking at an Afrian America
Ok so I am in the official 6 months since the stroke zone and I am pleased that I have made it here without another stroke and that I can see progress for real and not just some encouraged wishful thinking. I need that. I can walk across the room holding my travel coffee mug and go from the couch to the kitchen zooming to the keurig for a hot reward for my efforts AND without the walker at all! This is on a good day with lots of pain meds so I can walk on the evil leg (ok the misbehaving leg). O
They asked me. They is the Ca Dept of health. I said I complain. They said yes you must. The lady said I think I worked with you before. Yes. Then I said what I called to say. And said Yes I told everyone. I go to everyone. Who can do more than listen? And yes thank you for acknowledging I have valid concerns. Then I was told I may not get what I want. ok here the waters go choppy. In my mind acceptance is only when all options run dry. Sure it may not go my way even if I have a valid concern bu
My doc pointed out that I may put off people because I smile less often appropriately. At the time I heard this, I dismissed it like I do when I don't like what I hear...without smiling of course. But sometimes when someone is talking and grinning, I wonder: Should I be showing my teeth too?? I truly often feel like a Podperson. Who is this in my place? When I no longer had
most possessions, my identity plunged and I used clothes, my art, minimal ways to feel like myself. Who is this sitt
In August I will go go to Yosemite and Lake Tahoe with my son. I am excited and ans axious too. I have not been up high since stroke. We are driving again. He is going to be my caregiver. He said bring the wheelchair and he will push me at the accessible sites. We have accessible rooms with bathrooms reserved guaranteed. hooray not navigating a tub shower again may be nice. Visually I look fone but....
so my wide brimmed hat awaits with my semmer scarf with tassles. my answer to hid
Ok, so the morning nurse talks about how she worked at a haunted nursing home,talks about seeing ghosts in the old empty rooms.
She is interesting...
I am not a big fan of the breakfast menu. I eat cereal and fruit in tiny portions. My blood sugar has been around 86 to 90 something. Yesterday morning after my breakfast, and insulins,I got a sweaty hot flash,felt faint with that darkening around the edges feeling, and I felt short of breath, so I cried out for help,and pushed call button. T
It has been a month since I left lost my home of 15 years. On a positive note, the place needed a cleaning so a move was needed. I parted with things that were "my precious" and painful. The saying is so true that be it ever so humble,there is no place like home. I miss my castle in my eyes.
It help to talk about it. Forget living in the moment for a minute.
I have an angel of a roommate right now. We immediately hit it off with things in common. We shared memories,losses, and she pointed
So today My Doc said right lung sounds like it is not filling up all the way prob due to the edema problem. This year I am really suffering with edema stuff. So up diuretics and hope kidneys still function well in 2 weeks. Then it took me 4 hours to be transported home. The man who dropped me off is a bully. Everyone at the home heard him telling my cna that in 10 minutes he would leave without me. Well I was waiting for help getting in my wheel chair and hang my bag on it. I have a tote I got i
Maybe I walked around too much when I went to my OT appointment at the hospital and walked back to my room. The pain has98mawakened me. My foot feels like it is being stabbed. My leg burn and aches. Every so often it feels like a hot branding iron is on my calf or behind my knee. My foot tingles hard unpleasant.
I was sleeping so well. Every time I was up,roomie called for a diaper change. She had a milk of magnesia cocktail before bedtime. She has a fascination with asking questions about her
I had a quarterly meeting that was strange. One staff member came in to chat with me and she focused on what was my pain level number. I said it was a 7. I am dealing with the staff not giving me the pain meds on time and they lie about leaving it on my table instead of waking me up. I photographed the med cup with the pill in it and showed supervisor the picture with the time on the detail page. They are so concerned with the pain number that another woman followed and she wanted to discuss i
I went around giving the caught you caring forms to my neighbors in the home so they can vote for their favorite staff. I found many bedridden neighbors anxious to have a visit
I spend time watching time with my bingo buddy. I enjoy her company. She is alumni of Spellman University.
Roomie is going to daughters home so I get a break from her.
Cannot wait to go have some fun this afternoon.
Merry Christmas Eve Everyone.
I miss Christmas Past so badly. Here we all do. But we have chr
I sat a center table near the big screen one day talking to a man on the couch,when 3 men pulled up in wheelchairs and said the table was reserved for them. I said may I join you but they made it clear it was a no. I mobed to a window seat. I did not go back to the dining room because being served in a room reeking of urine was preferable to reliving high school seating fun.
Well my med made me restless. I went walking and visiting. I ate lunch and dinner in the dining room celebrating I could
I missed my radiofrequency ablation appointmenton August 1st because I have been ill for all this time. I was told it is a virus back in early July. I took 2 rounds of Z pak, cough syrup, an inhaler, logenzes, steamy showers on shower days, and whatever other thing I could do such as order from a local ethnic restaurant because I cannot get chicken soup from our kitchen in the nursing home. I hope to get some canned foods to keep in a drawer. So this virus and any bacteria seem to either be lin
I usually pay attention to what meds they give me, but the time I did not, they msde a mistake. I know my med schedule changes,but I figured that the nurse that made the change would get it right.
I first noticed I felt ultra drowsie. Roomie called out to me and I jerked awake and she told me I was leaning over toward the metal safety bar and did not want me to hit my head. Wow,I was sitting up on the bed,at my table, and I continued to nod off. I was afraid I would fall off the bed so I sa
It feels like forever which is almost 5 months of waiting for outpatient PT at the hospital rehab center at the same hospital I was in for two weeks with the stroke. The delay is riidiculous but what can you do? They sent me home with a therapist coming to my home to give me PT rather than put me in the rehab center for some policy reason and the first week I was home and the first time the home PT person came he said I needed vestibular therapy which he couldn't provide. I said the PT therapist
I am sad I not hear from my son
He not text and say he understands the misunderstanding on my text or explain his emotional outburst I was not expecting. I hurt and miss him dreadfully.
Is he so mad he will cut off paying for my cell phone which not only gives me netflix but also enables me to schedule my medical appointments and transportation. Our phone jacks in room do not work and and I would need to use phone at nurses station. I appreciate he says to me that it is his turn. How
I have taken pain meds with me to two doc appts. Because by the time I get there,do the thing,get picked up again in an hour window, allow for traffic,getting in...it could go past med time,depending upon when I take the last dose. So they packaged up meds including pain pill for me to take on time. But not today. Transportation came but they said it was not allowed to send the pill with me. I knew I would be gone when the time came for a pill. The nursing supervisor said no. So I walked slowly
Today I give thanks for Hope and the people around me who help me hold onto it with their love and kindness. Some are strangers come into my life briefly,but leave a huge power of positive energy that gives me healing.
Today I wear 2 patches to increase fentanyl dose. It took 2 months to make this happen. I hope this helps.
My night nurse told me that she sees Lyrica used more than Gabbapentin. She thinks there is a difference,that it works better for some patients.
I have to wait for a preauth,but it is on the formulary according to my insurance rep who explained my doctor's insistence that it is not covered as The possibility she has an outdated list. I am glad I called to check.Now peace of mind,ho
I met with the Ombudsman this morning. She had received a report but apparently not my side of the story. She asked why did they want me to move. I said because those men always sat at the two tables put together by the fireplace. But they told not asked me to move even after they put 2 other tables together and they sat at them. The director said one man in big wheelchair needed 2 tables together and my reply was that was not the only place for 2 tables.
I know bottom line was I could not be w
We're all sort of leaving a type of Groundhog Day it seems to start with the news in the morning finding out how many more people we lost overnight all over the world even I've become much more aware that would happens on one side is going to happen on the other and that each of us is going to be affected. And each of us is getting our morning coffee at some time during the day but we are in different places. Frankly I'm sick to my stomach when I hear people whining in their mansions playing the
