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Yet again; It's been a while since I have blogged (or much else honestly)

I want to start by saying I need and I miss my friends and support here at Strokenet. It's been somewhat of a tough year for me I suppose emotionally, mentally and physically. I know I'm not alone when I say "I'm so tired". Man, am I so tired! I'm not even sure what was going on in my life when I was more active in the forums and in my blogs... I'll have to go back and pay attention to when it started to fade to catch up on where I am now (well what's been happening since then).    No

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Worry...it's a daily thing for me...

Lately, I have been really down sorta. In one way I think I am doing great...I am getting things done which has been a big struggle. My kitchen is clean, I made a fall wreath, I have vacuumed everywhere, mopped floors, cleaned the bathroom, and just trying to organize my life in my house a bit better. On the other hand I have been worried about my husband who hasn't felt well. He left work early and is missing 2 more days. It's really unlike him at all. His blood pressure had been so high the la

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Wish Me Luck...

I go in for a same day surgery to help with a female problem I am having. Not everyone wants to know about this so if you don't just stop now LOL. I have endometrial hyperplasia and it has caused for the past year and a half to bleed like I'm dying. I have only been not anemic once for 3 months in thta past year and a half. When I had the stroke my Hemoglobin was 7 and my hematocrit was 23 with 0 iron stores. Needless to say Iron pills do not help me so since about a month after the stroke I hav

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Where Is My Water Cooler...

For the past month I have anticipated the arrival of something new, something for some reason I have held onto like a child waiting for a present to arrive. It's actually my daughter's but she got it for all of us to use. A water cooler that has immediate cold or hot water come out of its spigot when you press a button. That means no more buying big packs of bottled water, if I want hot tea I can just push a button and the hot water will flow into my cup and all I need is a tea bag, oh and there

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When it rains it pours...

Today has been a whirlwind. I decided to go see my mom's brother in law for the last time probably. He has brain cancer and he will probably pass very very soon. I was glad I went...even though he was never really conscious of me being there. I have a lot of memories of my Aunt Sherry and Darrel when I was little and I was their babysitter for their two children when I was a teen. Then they babysat my daughter when she was little. I just didn't want to miss the chance. I also found out today tha

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Update on my Dad

I have found out some more info about my dad and his cancer diagnosis. He has non small cell adenocarcinoma, it is extremely near to his esophagus and because of that inoperable. He will be starting radiation treatments on the 30th of this month. They will be lower dose than usual but for a longer time so as not to injure his esophagus. They did find 2 lymph nodes that are near and seem to be somewhat enlarged but they scanned him last week and there is no cancer metastasis. So it is still in st

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Update on Life

Things are finally calming down after my brother's death. Still no full answers yet from autopsy but hopefully not too long now. Tomorrow his daughter gives birth to his 3rd grandchild (a boy). It may freshen some raw feelings but all in all it will be a really wonderful day. My dad is actually doing really great during his radiation and chemotherapy...no sickness or really bad side effects. He is just over half way through. I'm so glad he's doing well.   Me...I am finally calming a bi

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Update About my Christmas To Do List

I am so happy to say that I am halfway through my list. This list I made instead of a New Year's Resolution because I wanted to see it happen. New Year's Resolutions have not been keepers for me but this is a list I can mark off - 10 things. Five checked!!! Today we put up the wall tree and even decorated around the living room a bit. Yesterday I made a simple Holiday Wreath and have it hanging on my door! I also put garland and ribbon up outside! I got an apple scented candle and today we decor

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Twice In One Day!

It must be a full moon because believe it or not craziness happened again on my street. This time two girls were fighting and two guys were trying to break it up. One guy was standing between the passenger seat and the door of an SUV and the lady in the car hit the door and it closed on this guy. Then the lady in the SUV rammed into her car then they both backed up and ran into each other. I called 911 for a second time about totally different people and told them they better get back over here

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Tomorrow is Going to be Crazy/Unknown

Tomorrow my dad gets his first dose of radiation for his lung cancer. We are all just in a weird wondering mood. My dad is in good spirits which I am so glad. The very next day he gets his first dose of chemotherapy. I pray it is kind to him or at the very least that he is able to be ok with it physically. I know if the chemo is too much that he can just raise a white flag and the Oncologist is really supportive of this. Just praying for whatever he goes through.   Tomorrow I go to my

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To be really Jolly or not as Jolly that is the Question...

Its been about 3 weeks since my hysterectomy and I am feeling better and better. This time of year is hard for me though both before and after the stroke. 1st it's never been the same since my divorce and 2nd I had my first super set back just a couple of weeks before Christmas when I had a mega panic attack and had psychogenic stuttering constant for 1 and half months last year. This year it's all about the finances...barely making ends meet is hard during a holiday. Well I have decided I have

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Time Is Flying

I'm not sura about you but my year is flying by! I w onder if it will continue to feel this way because it has been different for a while. Since I had my stroke time has seemed slower than usual up until this past year. It's possible my clock is catching up 🙂 . It will be New Year's before I know it. This year I have been trying hard to improve on all my improvements or at least the ones that have always normalized me. The simple things: chores, schedules, regulating my energy output better to s

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Thinking Out Loud

*First let me put a disclaimer here. I am going to talk about faith (religion if I may) as it applies to me. I never want to make another feel that I am weighing their faith or lack of in any way than my own. I believe in acceptance and only strength in whatever faith you may practice. I love you just the same. If this will cause a negative feeling in someone please feel free to click out now. I would never want that. I made a blog post yesterday that stated God had given me a gift. Just so

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Things are changing...

It's been a while since I have written a blog. Just haven't been able to sit and do it. First I am so much better from having a really bad respiratory infection that triggered my asthma terribly. I can't explain what it's like to not be able to breathe in air. It is scary and panic is right at your surface. I have had to use a nebulizer for 2 weeks to get effect from my asthma medicine it just delivers it so much better. Then right in the middle of it I get the most horrendous urinary tracy infe

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The nerves are beginning to fire...I can do this!

It's been a mostly uncomplicated week and it's getting cooler. I have been doing a lot of "things" keeping my mind off THE DAY. I really have done well. Today I feel it a bit. The unanswered questions about what they will find. Will I have laparascopic or will they have to do an open incision surgery. I won't know until I wake up. I've had to be off my aspirin to prepare. I just don't want to go backwards (stroke wise) and I'm afraid of having another. I don't want to have to fight even the thou

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The Monster of Stroke...What I See After Battling One

I came here this morning to share something happening in front of me...it affects my stepmom and her ex-husband's family who she has remained close to. Life happens sometimes in a way so beyond what we can control. My stepmom's ex brother-in-law has been ill the past two months and having serious heart issues. Eventually he needed heart surgery and when he was in the middle of it a clot formed in the circulation machine that traveled to his brain and caused a massive stroke. 😔 It kills me knowin

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The First Year in The Little Pink House

We moved into the house in February of 2014. I retrieved all the vital things out out of their box homes and began to fill my new little abode that was heaven sent. Before we actually moved into the home we (Myself, my Daughter, my Husband, my Mom, and my Step Dad) wiped down all the walls and baseboards and then painted the two bedrooms. My daughter picked out her color(a beautiful bright lavender) and I picked out our bedroom color (Sandstone) and we brightened up the rooms quite a bit. We pai

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The Day It Happened

This is a copy of what happened when I had my stroke that I posted in my introduction. It is the beginning a new journey.   I had a Cerebellar Stroke on July 5, 2015 at 11:30 pm on my bedroom floor. I was 43 and the stroke was on both sides of my cerebellum. Since that day it has been a roller coaster that started with the tallest, most scary drop and loop you can imagine. I've been begging for months to get off and it never stops just slows down. When the stroke happened, I just collapsed. I

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The Chapter is Beginning

I have worked so hard, waited so long, dreamed so much, needed so much and I feel the page turning. I have such an overwhelming feeling that the page is turning, the Chapter is ending and a new one is beginning. I am full of anticipation, gratitude, excitement and fear. For the first time really... This chapter is about me. I can't explain my feelings... I am closing my eyes and letting each one wash over me. I feel it coming. It's overwhelming. For some reason even though I have fear I am not a

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The Chapter is Beginning

Well I am finally in my new home...well new for me. Still getting settled. I've met a very kind and smart doggie he is a chiwuawua. He comes to visit me if i'm outside at night sometimes. All I have to say is "Go home." and off he goes. My neighbors on the other side of the duplex do not like me i dont think. I had some issues with the parking situation when i first came. It is just one lady that lives there she is mentally challenged and requires assistance 24/7 so there are always at least 3 e

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The Before the Stroke Positive is Not All I Remember...

Last entry I remembered how active I was and how much I did and was responsible for. Looking back helps me see that I was important. I touched a lot of souls I think and I know they touched mine. So let me back up just a bit. I had a really hard year leading up to my stroke maybe year and a half. I have struggled with bouts of recurrent depression for many years but through therapy I learned to control this pretty good. So when I lost my apartment (yes I was evicted because the rent kept going u

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Surgery Update

I just wanted to let those who knew about my surgery That I am doing well and the surgery went really great. They were able to do laproscopic and they found no cancer! My Doctor didn't expect a good outcome so she was really pleasantly surprised. That is all for now i'm pretty loopy from the pain med. :hug:

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Success and Improving!!!

It's been about 9 days since I had my complete hysterectomy via Laprascope. So I have 5 incisions in my tummy...3 down low, one up high and to the right if you are looking at me and one hidden in my belly button. The recovery hasn't been very bad at all. I do feel like some alien being with 5 arms was messing with my insides. It still hurts a little when I move just right or sit up real straight or turn over in bed but it's tolerable. I have thought many times about my insides over the past week

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St-St-Stuttering is the Pits

When I started stuttering at that very moment it's like a switch had been turned on or off. It was so difficult to get out what I was saying. I would just get stuck usually bad on the first syllable. My husband, he is a bit clever, came up with a way to sorta get me through what I needed to say sometimes. I would get stuck on I. I-I-I- and then he would say dun nuh duh nuh duh nuh (Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne (Black Sabbath) - I've always been a big fan. So it became sorta of a game. Each time

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