To be honest, I'm just plain tired. My sleep cycle is in ruins, the animals keep getting me up about 2-4 hours after I finally fall alseep, my husband seems to have completely incapable of managing his own schedule so it hasa become my responsibility to get him up for work, fix his coffee, etc. because if I don't, he wpon't get out of bed until WELL into the late afternoon. Nothing is getting done around the house because I don't have the energy to do it. My family keeps looking at me like I've gone "off the reservation" when I tell them they need to pick up their own slack. Aparently, since I no longer work outside of the house, I should be able to everything and let them simply "relax" when they come home.

I keep telling them that I am tired, that I haven't fully recovered from hte stroke yet, that I'm exhausted all of the time. They look at me as if I were speaking a foreign language, or patronize me and hope that will make me shut up and go away. It just makes me more upset.

It seems that since the first anniversary of my stroke has come and gone, I'm supposed to "have put it all behind me" now and taken over everything thatthey don't want to hand;e because "they are busy working and I don't do that any more." I'm tired of pointing out what it is that I do accomplish all day, every day, the fact that I haven't slept for longer than 4 hours a night in the past month, and the fact that the majority of the messes they think I should be handling are messes THEY created, not me. It isn't even my stuff I'm supposed to be picking up!

When I ask some one else to clean up something I get "I don't want to be mess guy!" Well guess what, NEITHER DO I!!!! Just because they don't want to do it doesn't mean I should have to the only one who has to deal with the more unpleasant things in life. If Sam leaves a coffee cup on his night stand, it should NOT be my job to walk around after him and pick it up. If he leaves it there long enough for it to mold, it should NOT be my job to wash it out. But that is what ends up happening.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of telling him how I feel about it on;y to have him tell me I'm overreacting, or try to patronize me to get me to be quiet and go away. I'm just plain tired of it all.