another rotten day april 15 2012
dan woke up yesterday in a good mood. we were headed out to fago tovisit my sick aunt and shop a little ( had the 15 yr daughter with)... He got really aggitated all the suddens never did figure out specifically why but it was directed at beth i believe..... she is such a good girl... and he is so mean to her ( no other word for it)..... he just BLEW UP . he simmered down a little and was given the option to return home with our other daughter. but decided to come with--- made it clear he wanted to be back to go to 4:30 mass. we were.... when we got to fargo he wouldnt get out of the car. wouldnt eat woldnt drink just generally not pleasent. we came back and we were back for church but he refused to go to church..... we came home he went to bed. that was at 5 pm saturday. it is 6 pm and he has refused except for once to get out of bed. I got him up the one time to clean him up.. and he did take his pills and trank a little a bottle of ensure. then back to bed. watches TV off and on and will converse some with me. but he is a crab. i asked if he would at least get out of bed and sit up in living room, ok so I went to help him up and said no.. I said dan you just said you would ya I know and then he laughed.... He drank a little bit of water and i left him to his own devises-- watch TV sleep what ever. It is our son in laws B=day and we dont get to go visit.... i'm really thinking i made a mistake... maybe a nursing home is where he needs to be- I don't know? He can do so well then nothing and with my own health stuff I'm way to crappy feeling to deal with his crap... I just am loosing that "light" of faith... how much more??? and at this point except for everyone here death would sure be easier. Dont anyone get freaked out it just one of those thoughts. not a "plan" i'm just questioning everything today... nancyl
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