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Hi Everyone


bstockman

1,175 views

I am not "much" of a blogger. but I want to let people/friends know what has been happening in my life.. I had been on staff here for around 6 years I think. started as a chat host.

So Last year I resigned, My husband had melanoma 7 years ago. He had it removed, and the surgeon was sure he had " removed all of it" John never missed his check up's. He was a Vet, so we went to Seattle a little over 80 miles south. In November he started to have some back pain. With his job and we have 5 acres at 63.. not unexpected to have back pain, so the Dr's were treating hi for back pain. It began getting much worse. He had a bone scan and MRI on 4/27/11. The melanoma had come back with a vengenace.. it was Everywhere. He spent a month at the VA hospital.. he had been transferred to another hospital for surgery where they removed some of his spine and put in a titnanum rod.

John's daughter came up from Arizona; and since he was in a private room we could both stay with him. We could give each other breaks for meals, phone calls etc. She stayed a week. She is a teacher..

 

There they discovered he also had 12 lesions in his brain, it was in his liver, etc. I stayed at the hospital.. they have chairs that pull out in to beds.. and when they could.. we had the room and I could sleep in the other bed.

I came home a few times to take care of his business. My daughter & sister in law kept me in clean clothes. My daughter came by twice a day to take care of our 5 dogs & 2 cats. At the time we also had 2 goats. John was transferred to Bellingham the end of May.. only 17 miles from our house. He was in a nursing home, for less than 48 hours.. they were horrible and the Hospice Nurse came in. I told her what was going on and within 2 hours he was transferred to Hospice House. Hospice House is Totally AMAZING they have 12 private rooms. Each room is set up with a day bed, and recliner for family to stay. they are not only set up for the patients.. but also the family.. with laundry. a family room, with a small kitchen area. Many times someone would have a crock pot of soup going for anyone to eat. People would bring in.. fruit platters, doughuts, cookies.

Lori (John's daughter) came back up the week before Father's day and we both stayed in his room. My daughter & son in law were taking care of everything at home. I did come home for few hours sometimes.

 

My daughter & son in law, were renting.. so after John passed they moved in with me. My sister in law who lives about 5 miles away took the goats, as they also have 5 acres. She had them several months, and then found a new home for them.

 

It has been a "rough" year. I closed John's business May 1st. He owned a "Copy Shop" but also bought used machines, recondiioned them, sold them and had service contracs". John's tech had to have shoulder surgery.. about 6 months before John became sick. so he had a new.tech with out a lot of experience. Our outfront girl that ran the copy shop had taken Family leave in March as her mom had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and her dad had a traumatic brain injury and the mom had been his CG.

 

I had all new employees, and no experience to purchase machines, etc.. My daughter was working in the shop, to help. So with so much stress etc. we closed it. The copy shop is still going.. an employee I had hired ( he is great) is buying it..

 

now I am home, not totally free of stress.LOL still winding down some things from the business. We had to bring home 6 years of paper work.. so my dining room is full of boxes. and we are still sorting things. having a few yard sales.

 

I have also been diagnosed with neuropathy, and had carpal tunnel surgery on my right hand the end of June. the left needs to be done, but holding off until Fall.

 

If you have read this .... Thank you, I know I have rambled, but it actually feels good to put this on "paper"

10 Comments


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Hi Bonnie, you sure have been busy. Thanks for updating us. I bet Sue will be thrilled that you updated your blog. I am so glad you are considering coming back to StrokeNet. All the best to you.

 

mc

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Honey, you never ramble. With all you have done for all of us. Please do take care. I know this is yet another milestone in your life. You handle all with such grace and I am pleased with your support. Know I think of you often. Pray you are OK. Please, please take care and know you are in my thoughts. Debbie

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No words are helpfull ----- but i wanted you to know -- i am sorry and boy does devastation travel in a pack in our lives.. your experience will be very valuable for the new crop of "newbies" of which i am one --- thank you for coming back to stroke net.. nancyl

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Hi Bonnie: Thank you for sharing. I lost my husband last October from lung cancer, totally unexpected. It has been very hard but I am making it. He lived only 3 months 3 weeks after the diagnosis. Nobody saw it coming. The pain started real bad with the radiation (he also had leasions in his brain) and then chemo. He stayed at home and a friend drove him to our local cancer center for chemo, hydration, etc. We also had nursefinders come in because he had been in the hospital due to pneumonia during the chemo and I had fractured my back the same week he was diagnosed. I called Hospice toward the end...not any too soon either. I am glad he is not in pain and he is in a serene, happy place with your husband. I still take it day @ a time. I have long-term care insurance (thank God) and so I have a lady come in 7 days a week to help me during the day. I am still not done with everything that needs doing but just do what you can when you can do it. God will help you, believe me. I don't know how people who don't have a God in their life do it. He has saved me from so much pain and is helping me take a step at a time and deal with grief when it comes up. Hugs, Leah

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Hi Everyone, It is so great to hear from you all and I am delighted to meet some of the members who have joined, since I have been gone. I do not like to hear of someone having stroke, but as we all have learned, strokes have no boundries on age, etc.

Leah I am so sorry to hear of your husbands passing, and all you have been through.

I am so happy that MC put the bee in my "bonnet" to come back. It is not that I had not thought about everyone here, but more like with the business. and then I kind of "crawled" into a "hole" for awhile.. maybe I needed that time, I know there is light at the end of the tunnel.. Thank you all for your Love and Support

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Bonnie :

 

I am so happy you decided to crawl out of your hole & came back to us, your compassion & wisdom is so valuable to all newbies, I know it was huge comfort for me when I joined this site, knowing that light at the end of tunnel is possible. I am glad you decided to come back.

 

Thanks,

Asha

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Guest lwisman

Posted

Bonnie,

 

Condolences to your on the death of your husband. Sorry to hear of the difficulties of the last months. It is good you had family that was of help.

 

Glad you are back with the Stroke Network community.

 

Lin

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Bonnie,

It is good to have you back. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that your have had to experience. Expecially about your husband's death.

 

I pray that you are able to keep your spirits and keep pushing on.

 

I am glad that you are back.

 

Ruth

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Bonnie,

It's good to have you back too. I'm soory you have had so many probles but you have come though them all.

 

Bruce

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