ethyl --- stick with the bathroom routine-- you do it--- i only say this becuase i can almost guarantee in the end something is gonna come up and you will deal with it so much better if you are at the start of it instead of "mopping cleanup" ----- stay in your dress - heck have so much fun in it that it gets ruined ( LOL ) - my daughter had this philosophy and she had more fun and that dress got so dirty but what a great time she had !! do you have one of those step stools wih the long handle ??? that could be used as an anchor for bruce if some one with enough weight can counter balance that ( Obviously not you little ms 95 pounder) and i am really preaching to the choir but have a couple extra pr of pants packed and extra depends--- although other people can and do help dan any "snafoo" that happens is much easier for me to deal with start to finish than the half way through thing..... and dark pants for bruce just in case of one of those leaks.... all things you already know... but my 2 cents worth...nancyl

here is something totally unrelated but related at the same time--- we caregivers are so adapt at what our loved ones need --- i carry wet wipes everywhere as dan has taken to washing every restraunt table before eating -- so now we clean the resteraunt tables and the bathrooms for random resturants..LOL you will have it all together and it will be GREAT !!!!

I know you want to do it all but you are the BRIDE! Does having a groomsman/nurse make any sense to you? It is your day so if you have someone you trust so you can relax and take your time with some help either in the morning before or during the ceremony that would be so much better. I would opt for that.

I remember when Trev wanted to have the wedding at Ray's bedside, I was so glad that did not have to happen. Craig toiletting Ray between the ceremony and the lunch was a bold move but it happened and that was what counted. Sometimes an alternative has to be found, one woman can only do so much.

As a cyber matron-of-honour can I wear yellow? It is my color. All us cyber-bridesmaids need to post a picture. At least it will give us all a laugh, aand we all need that.

Sue.

Debbie,

Yes definitely wear the dress. This is the dream come true. Go with the regular morning routine.

I would consider having a caretaker for Bruce. They can handle the emergencies.

I like you hate the handicap restrooms with grab bars on one side. It is usually on the wrong side.

This is how i handle that. I have Wm bring his quad cane and he uses that or a hemi walker would be nice on that side. Sometimes when I don't have the cane. I have Wm hang onto the to of the walls. He doesn't like to do that.

But, yes the urinal is the easiest thing...I would opt for having a urinal in the restroom to be used easily.

The reason for the caregiver is that usually you need to be quickly. I know that Wm notifies me and I must react pretty quickly.

This is your day to have some peace from those immediately needed reactions that are so secondary to us.

One suggestion,, can you take a bedside (type) urinal. then if someone can take him for an extra trip they can use the urinal and just dump it. Extra pants and depends (of course you have already thougth of those).

Have fun. the plans you are making ahead of time will surely make things easier.

Best Wishes

Debbie, After four of them for me I can't think weddings or what it takes to make one go smoothly but I got the faith your plans will be the right thing to do under the circumstances!!! Have fun!!

Debbie, I can only add to what others here have said. Get someone Bruce will toilet with so you can enjoy yourself. You may have to talk him into this beforehand so he is prepared for the "help". Public bathrooms have been a problem for Larry and I too. The bar on wrong side, Larry doesn't like to go in the women's and I refuse to go in men's. I wish you all the best. Let Mary and your other friends help you best they can with Bruce.

Julie

Debbie, wear your dress. Let your friends help you, and enjoy your day. God bless you both.

Yvonne

Deb you my friend will be beautiful and like all of us worry about all the little details. I'm sure that you have things well in hand. Get Bruce ready and put on that dress that you have been waiting so long to wear. Relax (easy for me to say LOL)and enjoy your day Bruce and you deserve the most wonderful and happy day. Congradulations I wish you much happiness. Sally

OK, so we decided in Chat tonight that Sue will wear yellow. God help me that the table linen colors can accent that! We love her tho. Debbie

I agree with the urinal thing, because just when you don't need it the most, he could dribble and ruin his clothes. I don't actually carry a urinal with me, but sometimes we have a second trip after therapy, and they only have a toilet, no urinal. I found that when he stood up to it, he dribbled on him self, before it ever reached the toilet, arching out as it came out and then also changing direction as he was near done. So, now I carry these see thru plastic disposable glasses that I can stand him to the toilet and put one up to him. I can see thru it so I can make sure it is not getting ready to run over, and if necessary dump it after he gets a good flow going, and return it before his stream dwindles down. Then throw away (carry a small stack of them). This now prevents ruined shoes/pants/or even a clean depends from being ruined. You might feel cleaner about your wedding dress if you had a long apron to put over the fron of you, don't know... maybe just a mental thing.

Definitely wear it, long as possible! And I'm sure you will have extra clothes for him, just incase the unthinkable happens! You can just say you were ready to change into your after ceremony clothes.

Debbie :

I am so excited for your wedding plans. I know & pray all will go great. Just enjoy the day, you both deserve & earned this day. after all this planning realise its your day just go with the flow & enjoy your day to fullest. ton of blessings your way.

Asha

debbie, i'm so sorry i haven't sent you my congratulations on your upcoming wedding, i am so happy for you and bruce. now the loose ends will be brought together at last. you have worked so hard with bruce and his care, now its time for you to have some pampering on this most important day for a woman. don't stress to much, everything will work out ok. enjoy your day and look beautiful, like the person you are. i will be there in spirit and wishing you both the best in your new lives as husband and wife. remember we will want loads of pictures when you can post them.

Debbie, what color are we suppose to wear? All I have is red! Will that be ok? ;0 LOL! Honey you wear that dress till it comes apart! My plans are to wear mine and if Mike is able to ride the motorcycle my sister is gonna bring a pair of scissors to cut mine off above my knees so we can ride away on it together!!! I don't think that is going to be a reality but it is a great fantasy and I would do it to!!! What is the reason women keep them and hide them away in a box? I am gonna have fun in mine. Wish I could give you some advise on the incontinence thing but we don't have that problem so honey you do what you think will be best for you and the most comfortable for Dan and I am sure all things will work out. You know him better than anybody go with your gut. Love ya! Let me know what color to wear for my pic!!

I don't know, Cat. Sue may balk at the red. LOL. I talked Julie, Ruth, Sarah and Sally into neutrals. My four other dear friends from grammar school are promising to arrive in lime green - long story, but funny. And the group from Bruce's work is thinking rainbow colored wigs! This should be wild! And here I am angsting about the color of Bruce's tie - LOL. Debbie

I have been crocheting nonstop, since learning of the cyber wedding, to create a perfect hat and purse ensemble to wear to the wedding. I am ready to attend in style!

LOL. OMG Sandy. You just made my day. And honey, you did neutrals so my dear Sue will be happy. Plus you supplied the appetizers - LOL. Thank you so much. I really did need this today. My sister is making me crazy. People are stopping in or calling to see how they can help. We are having such fun here on StrokeNet and at work. You should see the tiaras - mostly Halloween costume tiaras - LOL. I must say it has been very nice to get away from the routine and rote of every day, even just for a bit. Again, thank you. Big smiles - Debbie

I just can't decide if I should wear a yellow dress to match the plate, a brown to go with the meat & taters, or an orange and white dress to match the egg! Decisions, decisions, it's hard to be so into fashion, as I am!