sounds like you are going through a depression sweetie. i have been there as well, as i'm sure everyone one this site has at one time or another. you are only 34 and hubby 36, it simply isn't fair and you have a right to be angry.

in one of your posts you mentioned you could look in his eyes and know he still loves you and he could say "beautiful" to you. sounds like he has come a long way since the doctor's first prognonsis. it's still early in recovery time for him, there is much hope.

it's okay to feel down sometimes, it's normal. i was tol( or my family was told) at best i would be in a persitent vegetative state. 3 weeks later, i woke up. it's been a long 18 months for me. at first i couldn't communicate or move. then i started talking, walking, and in a matter of months, driving, walking and working. i am not pretending that i am the same as i am not. i have brain damage and most likely will have to accept the fact that it probably won't get much better.

i can, however, do MUCH more than anyone would have ever thought. i always knew in my mind i could do it, but couldn't express it intelligently for a long time. if you met me, you wouldn't know anything like that had ever happended to me, i was 41. evryone is different, but doctors and early after a stroke, you can't really accurately judge what the future will bring.

i hope from the deepest depths of my soul that you are telling a new member one day a similar story dear.

my best

kim

I REMEMBER WHEN:

I THOUGHT SCHOOL WAS A "JOKE"

I WAS TOO BUSY CLIMBING THE CORPORATE LADDER TO PAY ATTENTION TO MY FAMILY.

I FLEW ALL OVER THE COUNTRY MAKING LOTS OF MONEY FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.

I DRANK TOO MUCH AND MISSED OUT ON A LOT.

I OPENED MY FIRST BUSINESS AND IT CONSUMED MY LIFE.

I BURIED MY 22 YEAR OLD BROTHER IN 1969

I TOOK MY FIRST PILL FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

I WENT TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK.

I FINALLY HAD A STROKE BECAUSE IT ALL CAUGHT UP WITH ME.

I ALSO REMEMBER:

GOING TO WATER THERAPY CLASS WITH MY NEW FOUND FRIENDS

HOLDING HANDS WITH MY WIFE AS WE TOOK A SLOW WALK TO THE BEACH.

DRIVING TO THE FRUIT STAND FOR FRESH FRUITS AND VEGGIES.

MEETING FRIENDS FOR DINNER

WATCHING THE SUNSET.

CALLING MY KIDS, JUST TO TALK

CUDDLING UP WITH MY WIFE

AND THAT WAS ONLY YESTERDAY. I CAN'T WAIT FOR TODAY

MARTY

Thank you both. Your responses made me cry, which is something I've been needing to do but just haven't been able to. Definitely in a "funk" lately. I know our family cares and tries to be supportive, but it's difficult to explain to them WHY I am depressed and have them get it. They all tell me what a wonderful job I am doing and how they don't know how I have been so strong through all this. I guess it's all catching up to me now. Not only is it catching up to me, it's jumped on my shoulders and told me to carry it. I know things will get better, I am just scared and feeling alone right now. And I do know that being with my husband is the one thing that will get me through. I just need a break. A maid, chef, chauffeur, nanny and personal trainer would be nice too!

You actually sound like me last week. I am still a newbie caregivers and have the same exact feelings you do. Stick with it!! It will get better!!! I know that now. As everyone says, it just takes time.

hey hun sounds to me like ur a little on the down side hun as if your a little depressed

you can still do all those things dont give up

go c ur doc hun

hold ur head up

time heals all wounds