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when things are going good

CagedBird

Entry posted by CagedBird

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I always get scared when things are going good because I know something bad is coming my way so I can't get too comfortable with the good life. My dad was just saying this same exact thing today. He is the biggest pessimist I know and his negativity wears me down. Lately he had been acting very hateful and moody because of money issues and my brother quit his job so that put more bills on my dad. I felt really sad and upset like I am just a burden on my dad since I moved back here and living with two depressed negative people (my dad and brother) does not help me at all. I prayed a lot though and things have got a little better in the last couple of days. I still want to move out. I miss cooking my own meals and laying on my couch in my living room watching tv. I miss having my own space feeling independent. I hate being stuck in this room. My dad finally told me he's feeling better today and my brother actually talked to me about how he was feeling so God answered my prayers. Now Im just praying he answers my prayers for a job and apartment. I REALLY miss working and I know I need income to move out and get my own place again.

 

SSA stopped my disability check this month because they needed proof that I was not working anymore and unfortunately I had just paid off 1 of my student loans so I have been running low on cash which makes me wish I had a job even more! The good news is I just got my settlement from my accident back in October so Im waiting on that check to come through the mail!

 

I was snowed in last week so I missed yoga but I finally got out this weekend. I hung out with my bestfriend, I went to church, and I picked up some books and movies from the library. I am very thankful when I can go a whole week with no seizures. Im also very thankful when I can burn a whole tank of gas driving all around town in this congested city and avoid accidents. It seems like drivers always want to cut me off from my left side where I have no vision. I thank God every time I get to where Im going. I just pray things stay okay for a while. I needed this break from misery. Thanks for your encouraging comments.

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englishlady

Hi Katrina, great that you are having "good days" thinking postive, keep on praying and the good will keep on been good. So please that you have been seizures free for a whole week!

 

I be praying that everything stay good and postive!

 

Yvonne

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merichsen

Katrina,

Living life positively is a choice which takes ongoing work. We often become complacent when things are going well and don't take action to avert the consequences of the easy ride. The power is always within you to change things that you don't like.

It isn't usually easy and takes us out of our comfort zone, but is worth the effort. If you really want to get your own apartment, God needs a little help like you going out to look for a job so He has a prayer to answer. He can't bring a job to your door, you need to take the first step to a positive change.

Don't let others' problems become your problems, you have enough to handle. Reestablishing your independence as a grown woman will help you clearly be able to distinguish your own challenges so you can address, handle them, and enjoy your life.

 

You're amazing, never underestimate yourself, or forget that!

 

Love,

Maria

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HostAsha

Katrina :

 

 

BTW I feel you need to be thankful to wherever you are at the present moment instead of wishing something else since when we do that we are not enjoying your present moment which is the only thing guaranteed. when you were working you were missing staying home & not doing anything & now when you are doing that you are missing working. So see the pattern & try to be present in your present moment. I am giving you this advice but I know I need to do same thing.

 

I strongly believe in watching your thoughts, since our thoughts becomes our reality so try to think only positive things.

 

Asha

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CagedBird

Thanks everyone. To Maria, I did start looking for a job and income based apartment.

To Asha, I thought about that too. I am thankful that I have free time to relax and I dont have to take off work for appointments. I guess I just wish my life wasnt so all or nothing. Its like before I was working non-stop stressed out paying bills and now Im sitting at home doing nothing. Its not so much that I want to work. Its more that I want the option to work. I hate feeling defeated

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HostAsha

Katrina :

 

Maybe you should look into volunteer position or build your own business where you can do things based on your schedule. ofcourse building business from scratch is hard & has its own headaches. I have realised in life nothing worth fighting is easy

 

Asha

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