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a good time with the family visiting


swilkinson

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The family have gone home,it is always sad to farewell them but also time to rejoice in what we experienced together and what we are to each other. I have a lot to be thankful for and often fail miserably. I have too much time to think and it is easy to get miserable and mopey and let the slights and disappointments in life get out of perspective. Three days with my Salvationist family whether I am at their place or they are here is always good for me.

 

This time there was the bonus of having the little cousins together too. We had two full days with each other and last night Pam and Steve's three children were here for dinner,probably for the last get-together for a while. There were eight of us altogether as we had left Pam at home with a headache. There was plenty of time to reinforce those happy family memories. I will be sad when they have to go to live with their father down in Adelaide but I think we all know that is going to happen now and have accepted that our relationship will change because of that too. I am hoping to see them every time they come to visit their Mum and have some time to keep the bonds we have strong. But who ever knows what the future holds?

 

Thanks to HostSally for carrying on hosting chat when I have to duck out. Anyone who has not has a lot to do with Sally will not realise what a rock she is to me. I have only stayed on at Strokenet as a volunteer because of the strong teams we have here. It is a wonder to me that people like Sally have time to do the voluntary work they do with their loved ones calling out to them for help. Sally just types in "brb" and a few minutes later there she is as delightful as ever, ready to go with the conversation. We had Hostdennis as an observer in chat too so that was a bonus for us.

 

The winds got rather strong last night, we had been warned to do the clean up, tie down routine I associate as being a routine for people in areas where there are hurricanes or cyclones but I do not expect to have to do it here. I woke up to a lot of leaf litter on my lawn and all over the back yard so Christopher helped me clean that up this morning. Craig fixed the two lights I had that both blinked on and off by giving them new starters and Naomi helped in any way she could. It is help with such small things that can lighten the load for me. Now I have to think that it is not so long to the end of winter when I can pay them a returned visit.

 

I know I do not always come across as a lonely person but I am. No-one knows how often I just want to run back home when I hear a certain song, see couples walking hand-in-hand or dancing cheek-to cheek, sometimes just sitting in a restaurant talking together. All of this I took for granted when Ray was alive. Okay, going out with him in a wheelchair was no picnic and took a lot of strategic planning but once we were there we were together and that is what counted. It was one of the things I took for granted, that we would always be together.When my family is here I don't have to go out alone so I enjoyed three meals out in three days and it was wonderful, being part of a group, not just being alone.

 

It has been over three years since Ray was home with me. We did have Trevor and Edie's wedding in August 2011 and that was the last time we ate out as a complete family. I still feel Ray is missing from our family gatherings. One of the meals out was a late birthday celebration for me as I was last with Shirley and family in May. We went to a family owned Chinese restaurant where for many years we have been going as a family in fact Shirley, who is now in her forties, first went there when she was two. It is owned by the same family as then so the mother came out and greeted us courteously and the son who is the manager and waiter and whatever is needed called each of the adults by name. That is something precious in this day and age. And also the food is good still, so we always enjoy it.

 

It has been over three years since Ray has lived here but one night last week I was watching something on television and turned to him and said...but of course he wasn't here now and so I felt foolish and a bit teary. I know he will always be a part of my life and if I do meet someone else that will not take anything away from the time I had with Ray by my side. I still hear him sometimes calling out in the night, I know it is not real but the old habits and memories of our old life are still here. There is no explaining why this all happens so I just accept that it does.

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Sue :

 

I love your blogs, you write your feelings so eloquently & truthfully. I am so happy you got to spend lovely time with your family. I feel once you start focusing on positive things in your life, it becomes easy to flow with life

 

Asha

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Sue,

 

It's always said, "Memories are made of this!!" Life is good when you can have a great time with family and going to old places and just remembering how things were then!!

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I love reading your blogs also, they are interesting and make me feel like I am right there! :) Your acceptance of life and what ever happens. happens is a true inspiration! Glad you had such a nice family time.

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I was so happy to find out your family was visiting and all the little cousins spending time with each other. A lovely visit and some needed help, surely.

 

Glad to hear you a planning a jaunt in the Spring again to visit them all.

 

That is so wonderful about the restaurant. You are right, so many family memories there and now another one added!

 

Go easy. Acceptance, yes. Debbie

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Sue, you had such a happy marriage with Ray, calling out his name will be with you for a long time to come!!! I still plan on bringing my wife to see Australia before we are too old to enjoy the trip.....She wants to be close to the baby kawola bear and see/meet the aboriginal people face to face in their settings!!!

 

Hopefully we can see you in person that would seal the trip deal for me and I'm sure the doctor that cared for me there is probably deceased by now!!! That was back in 1970 when he cared for me and got me healed up enough to walk a little and know I was going to live.... But had to return to Vietnam for a flight back to America!!!

 

I shall never forget Australia and the people!!!! They were so nice to me and they said they don't see black people very often in Australia...

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Sue, again a great blog, thank you for sharing. I am so please that you had a great time with your family! i know it was wonderful seeing the little ones playing, that is what family is all about! It shows that you had a great marriage, so calling out Ray's name is normal to me, remembering those times is part of your life.

 

Good that you are planing to see the family in Spring, give you something to look foward too!

 

Sue, no one is saying that it is easy, i just look the way you are handling it with total class!

 

Stay strong, God bless

 

Yvonne

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sue, i understand alot of what you are feeling. my hubby died also , not to many years ago, we had been married for 40 years. i too missed him and still do, remembering places we would go and things we did together. we also had a neighborhood Italian restaurant, we ate at alot and they knew us too, their food was to die for. they sold the business and moved to utah. we were devastated, but they did whatever they had to do. i heard they had opened another restaurant there. i'm glad you had a great time with the family. new memories being made. our hubbys will always remain in our hearts.

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