People always ask why I drive a half hour for Ray's therapy, and  I have to explain that we've tried the ones near home and they just don't get brain injury.  It's so different from a hip replacement or a sprained muscle. The place we go now is only for TBI and we're lucky to have found them.   I do sometimes wish they'd push Ray a little more but if he's grouchy, well that's as important in the scheme of things as the physical aspect.  They even put his favorite shows on the TV to watch while he's doing his passive exercises, but hey it keeps him going! 

Well at least you learned a good lesson, hope you feel better soon!  Maybe you should say something to her, in a nice way, sounds like she could use a little guidance for the future.

I think I need to just say NO.

Ray's grouchiness just may be good sense.

Is the other therapist gone or just on vacation?  So hard to find the right place, the guys at Ray's place are really into sports cars and boating and talk to Ray like just one of the guys.  It makes all the difference, they can usually talk him out of his moods...better than I can anyway!

My therapist was sick and went home early. My therapist is a woman with decades of experience so I feel I am in good hands. She always reins me in and cautions me not to over do it because as you can see I am of the old mindset that one dances through the pain. Most of the time I don't get challenged like that and I was doing it but today omg I am so in agony all I can say is that it is better to slowly increase and never get so eager as I was. I have been begging to do treadmill for ages and my therapist says that I will probably not stand up long and fall on it and I just get this image of me like a cartoon just flat and going round and round. In any case I am just eager for this to be over and things be better and all I have really accomplished today is to be sore like never before so I learned the hard way about pacing. I learn everything the hard way sheesho. Anyway I am going to sit around and not do much this weekend anyway. We have no plans now all ruined. that'll teach me. Better to go slower and not be stopped in tracks like this.  I would rather say I over did it doing something fun and not in the therapy room LOL.  I am just complaining. This too shall pass. I am just going to catch some netflix.  I am going to hug my therapist when she gets back and tell her how much I am going to listen to her to slow down.

Saying no is hard. I'm reading The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense, I recommend it.

It is hard not to be driven to see this as achieving a new you but common sense must prevail at the same time. She was not your personal trainer, she was a therapist to a stroke survivor and had to take what was possible into account surely? With some of the therapists Ray had they would get that disappointed voice and say: "Well if that is all you can do..." and sigh deeply and I wanted to scream.  I knew what Ray could do and not do and additional exercise causing him additional pain never seemed like a good idea to me as it is so restricting in the days that followed.

Thank you for recommending the book.  I recommend a book by neurologist Oliver Sacks called "A Leg To Stand On" and in it he writes about his experience as a patient recovering from a broken leg and all of his adventures getting the broken leg in the Alps but then he describes the culture of the hospital environment and the way we behave in that culture based on expectations of how we are treated and the powerlessness.

I liked the part when he talks about how it is different when you can stand up and speak instead of speaking from a chair or bed and the power thing attached to that. Interesting book and more interesting because a doctor wrote it from his experiences years ago.

Sue I am so glad as usual that you shared this comment with me. I have come to value and cherish your experience and common sense. Thank you. And yes i am having to recover from this and it seems to have not helped me at all not physically and not mentally either. I am going to be glad when my usual therapist comes back and I am going to politely share this experience with her and thank her for protecting me when she says "maybe next time" and "that's enough for now" and all of that. I really had not had a pusher before. I am new to this and learning the hard way.  And Sue it was lucky for Ray that you were there to support Ray and shield him from the "disappointed voice."   In fact I like that term: disappointed voice  LOL that about gets the picture across and why is that such a motivating force especially when the rest of your life is disappointing and then you hit the disappointed voice.  All such voices should be banned. 

I am going to be a diva when I get back in therapy this coming week. watch me. I am going to be a delicate southern belle ok so I live in so cal I am going to be what then ok just me.  And if my regular therapist is back I am going to hug her. If the other substitute is in then I am going to ask for some relaxation stuff in between her well meaning assistance.  I get it that I won't get strong unless I stand up and do some stuff but there must be a happy balance. Not being able to walk the next day is a sign it is too ambitious.

As usual I so appreciate this site and all who are taking the time to give support and to bounce things off of, even when they tell me to buck up, and especially when they give me just the "sit with me and feel it with me" moment.