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He Said I"m Not The Kind of Patient He Wants


SassyBetsy

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I changed my PCP which activated now on the fist of the month so HOORAH I am never going to see that doc again, but the insurance co needed to get paperwork from him for getting me transportation, therapy, a walker, prescriptions, and is there anything else that a doc does and he didn't. I had been in the office numerous times requesting it all at appointments and he had complained that it took endless paperwork. I also called his medical assistant and my insurance company got me a case manager and she called and faxed endlessly and I still never got anything done. One blamed the other too and so what was I to do! The insurance company case manager suggested that I change doctors and suggested I file a grievance with the insurance company against him. So I did. I also filed for an independent review at some state web site suggested for when the insurance or doc isn't getting you what you need. That was an easy website form and I suggest it for anyone who has a complaint or unmet need. They sent me a letter that they were doing an investigation and I would be notified within 30 days so at least someone would be accountable and perhaps the responsible parties would do what they should do. The insurance company wanted me to go to my scheduled appointment with a representative so she could get all the paperwork completed and signed. I was thrilled that someone was going to help me at last! Then the doc office called me the day before my appointment and said the doc was not going to be in the office and I needed to reschedule but they didn't know what day to reschedule me so they would call me back. The caller also said that the things that the insurance company were saying were not true and that the doc had sent them stuff. I replied that I didn't know what to say to that except that perhaps stuff needed to be resent then because I didn't have my walker or other stuff and it had been months since the physical therapist faxed the recommendation to order one. I said all of these things were long over due by months for some reason I didn't know. I didn't get a call back so the next day, which would have been my appointment day, I called and said I was wanting to reschedule. They said my appointment was not cancelled and I needed to be there! I said I couldn't (the rep wasn't going to be there now since I informed her it was cancelled) so I asked to make another appointment. I did get another one, and then I called around and got a name for a new PCP and changed it at the insurance company because I knew that since I had complained they were messing with me now. The appointment day came:

 

The insurance company representative met me in the lobby and we had time to chat and get to know each other while we waited in the lobby for over an hour and a half despite repeatedly asking when would I be seen? She asked me if I usually had to wait this long and I said that an hour wait was the usual and perhaps this was punishment or they may hope we just leave. I could hear my doc arguing with someone in the back about light bulbs being out and I could hear the medical assistant on the phone with a fax machine company who was not fixing the machine despite their paying rental fees. I told this to the rep and I said it sounds like they have house keeping to do rather than to see me. I finally had to use the bathroom which got me it the back anyway and then they put me in the room to wait some more. The doc came in and immediately ranted on the insurance rep that he was upset that a grievance was filed and it never should have been because he always did get the paperwork in and got me the services but the insurance company was to blame for everything and so he ranted and raved while the rep said well can we just get this done today and start fresh and the doc continued on to vent enthusiastically and I worried he was going to stroke out. I finally was satisfied my blood pressure had risen sufficiently and I said loudly that ok this was too stressful and could we please do the doctor appointment stuff now! The the doc noticed me for the first time and then started on about pain management patients drug seeking and that he had not drug screened me because the insurance company didn't reimburse him for the pee cups, that he had way too much administrative things to do for me, that I was not the type of patient that he wanted. And those words resounded in my ears over and over. Then he said to me that all the insurance company wanted for me was Deny, Delay, and Die. and that is a quote his three D's. I could ponder that for a while except that an insurance rep was sitting in the room with me advocating for services to keep me alive and with a good quality of life considering trying to get me a walker and transportation services. Then the doc switched gears and signed all the paperwork he was asked to sign and he got me samples and kept saying to the rep "see I am a nice guy." He was very upset that the grievance was on some record that was in his eyes not fair and not accurate because I never asked. The case manager has a record of asking for things on my behalf that I couldn't get done by the doc and these are things that the insurance co was saying they would approve if they got the paperwork for heaven's sake.

 

Every time the doc left the room to get samples or to do something, he kept going in and out for some reason, anyway the rep would roll her eyes and say OMG and at the time when the doc was talking about me being screened for street drugs she said to me "I don't know how you are getting through this" and she repeated this again at the end too. The doc got my stuff signed and the sample meds that he could have just written a rx for anyhow but seemed to want to impress her, and then he went on the rampage again even though enough had been said. He repeated that I was not the kind of patient he wanted and that he had considered discharging me when he learned about he grievance (the explanation for the cancelled appointment) and that the medical director said he couldn't do that so he didn't but that he didn't want a patient like me. He kept repeating that. I had already changed him from my PCP but I didn't say that he wasn't the kind of doctor that I wanted. I could have. Instead at the end when his hand was on the door, I apologized for not being the kind of patient that he wanted. He said it was only that it was because he prided himself on having a good relationship with his patients and that I had not communicated with him (even though he had said that he told me that the insurance co would not cover a walker and then the rep said yes they would if he would sign the recommendation for it, so there was communication prior to the complaint) and that there was too much administration stuff to do and to deal with my insurance company (who came with all paperwork filled out for him to sign as a last resort on my behalf which is why I don't change that too) and then then he left. As the rep took hold of my wheelchair to help me leave, she said, "how fast does this go?" and I shared the thought including "not fast enough."

We both were happy at least we got what I needed. Well done.

 

I went right over and immediately picked up my shiny dark red walker and then I went to school. Life had already moved on. My kids cheered me by taking me to one of my favorite restaurants that is fun loud and lively and I used my walker to walk along window shopping and I found a bracelet I liked and bought it to wear on my good wrist that isn't sensitive. It is so much easier to walk with the walker than with the cane I had used simply because I insisted on getting out of the wheelchair and pushing the wheelchair was not easy. I am happy I can do the cane around a bit but the walker gives me more stability for balance and it also gives me a place to carry things and to hang a little lunch bag to hold water bottle and my coffee mug. I can put my book bag on the seat and loop the handles so it doesn't fall. The safety and convenience is wonderful. And isn't it nutty but I love the pretty color of it too rather than a boring black oh just the artist in me loving cheery color and it doesn't hurt that it happens to be one of my fav color of nail polish red!!!!!!

 

I will never see this doctor again but I will never forget the look on his face, in his eyes when I came in the office that day and he told me that I was a patient that he didn't want. I didn't need to say that he was a doc I didn't want, because my complaint had said that already. He had already told me that I was a patient he didn't want by not making sure I had the goods and services I not only needed but I deserved as a human being, a person surviving and living with illness. He obviously forgot that Hippocratic Oath years ago and he is a doc that was not the role model of health and fitness himself, neither physically and certainly not mentally. But I went there trying to get medical care and I put up with insults and abrasive if not abusive treatment and when I complained then the staff had a word of reproach and retaliation (I am so glad I brought the insurance rep with me to that last appointment) and all along I had a family member in there with me but no one seemed to get it that this guy was a kook so it was so nice then the rep was reacting like I do and one of my family members said they did'nt speak up because they too just wanted me to get the stuff I needed and not make "waves" and what in the world were we doing thinking that "nice" would ever get me what I needed with that man? I am leaning toward considering this abusive and neglectful but it isn't on the scale of report it or is it? I am going to try. I would hate to think that another patient is suffering the hateful things he doles out in some passive aggressive manner by withholding things (how many months does it take to write a rx for a walker) and other nutty stuff for nutty reasons and is this doc even sane enough to be working with patients? The insurance rep said that she was certainly going to pass on the information to her manager and I apologized that she had to endure all that on my behalf and she assured me that she had never had that happen before when she accompanied a patient before. I had frequent conversations with my insurance case manager and she said that the doc office would do one thing and then not other things and then say they were overwhelmed which was probably true but not an excuse. Well that doc succeeded in getting his wish because i am long gone today.

 

And I know I am not the kind of patient he wants not because I come with lots of paperwork attached, but I come with lots of expectations to be treated properly and with dignity and I have no hesitation to be a vocal self advocate (nice word for complainer).

And I have no fear of bullies not even the ones in white coats who end up in therapy just as much or more than anyone else LOL.

 

Residual harm

 

I am now terrified that the next doctor is going to cringe when I walk in the door. At least now the saying walk in the door is real because I can use the walker longer than the cane so I will be walking more. I don't usually take so much work and if that doc office had done things as they came up there would not have been so much to do. I am going to have a university hospital doctor now in a university hospital group now. I will get all new referrals now and no I won't feel guilty for that paperwork because they get a paid client now and look at all the services I will need and will be paid for! I think I am just the kind of patient a health care provider place wants because I am going to be a constant and regular consumer. and my insurance company is sending rep to get me services too so they are white hat guys too.

 

oh and as for the street drug issue that fool doc brought up, I say shame on him because he should have been screening if he suspected and help offered and it shouldn't be used as a weapon statement in any way. I don't use medical pot even so I would have tested clean even from alcohol since I am on enough drugs to keep an elephant down and half of them say don't use with drinks. I miss a good margarita with extra salt that I used to make and oh my fav sangria with an umbrella. Oh and my response to his silliness was to respond not to the drug accusation but to say that I have requested to the insurance and to him numerous times that i be sent to a pain management clinic and could I get a referral right then for one and he then said well he had a problem getting that with my insurance while the rep is sitting right there and he didn't even give her the referral which is ok because I am moving on but just saying here. So he tried to make me out to be on drugs or disturbed or confused and filing complaints like crazy person. So my point is that I am fearful now that I am going to have that label because of his retaliation.

 

I am not going to be jaded because of that one rep that came with me and then said How fast can this go? which said it all to me that she understood that i just had the doc visit from hades in some kind of SNL reality. One person can make a difference. That insurance rep made all the difference. And objective witness to it and her kindness. She could have remained completely in a professional role and neutral and just said stuff to the doc but she didn't. When it got really nutty she was supportive because she was real, a real person responding in a real way to some alternate reality there but she reacted normal which validated it for me. That is a protective factor. She handed me that shield that said this isn't real so don't let it get you down, we can erase it later because it is wrong and shouldn't be happening to you. I can't really say when a stranger has been so supportive in such a real way. I will always remember her. Then in my jaded mind I think what if I was being played and this is truly my fault in some way and even the insurance co is not on my side. That is the strokeness of me now that am I sure of what is happening or not. Nah I am not going to be paranoid today.

 

Ok lets talk about my new red walker! Btw thanks if you have read to here or skipped to here and for listening lol because I am writing a novel here. I dont want my only role in life to be a patient.I don't want it to matter if a doc likes me or not because I am the customer and my opinion counts not the doc's and so what it is not a personal rejection (when it feels like one that is not reality) and so I just had to turn the day around and it was our fun day out anyway so it was good in the end. My new walker is fab and I have taken it to class and I bring all the stuff I need so no one has to carry it for me and I have it right there too so no reaching for it.It's my all terrain vehicle now and I am calling it my ATV lol because i can walk on the uneven places better with it than with a cane which is only really good for indoors for me. I have the seat too so I can rest and it makes a good seat for my book bag of course I have to have that loaded up. I am thrilled to have something that I can boogie with because the cane is so slow going anywhere. I dont feel embarrassed to be using the walker because it gives me so much freedom and I am standing. I cant tell you why standing is so important but it is to me. I want to be eye level and not looked down on. such little pride things mean alot. Dignity is something so lost that I am reclaiming.

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My biggest bureaucratic mess was having a doctor say he hasn't received a referral for a semi-urgent matter for 4 months and 3/4 times following after they said they sent it. I still don't know who's end the error was on, but it did finally go though. The insurance rep you refer to, is that similar to a third party (doesn't directly work for the insurance company) case manager I have? On multiple occasions she's found an auth we're waiting on is sitting on someone's desk who's on vacation. She's wonderful. I'm happy for you getting a walker! I'm between a walker and quad cane, so I understand completely the difference in feeling of security the two provide.

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Good riddance! Thank-you for hanging in there, and fighting for your rights as a patient, because in doing so, you were making a statement for all of us!    Becky 

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Pam :

 

you are brave & strong woman. It takes courage to stand up to bully like that doctor when we feel we are so broken. I am glad you are still that courageous woman who can stand up for her rights & not be afraid.

 

Asha

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Dumping that doc was a great leap forward for you and your treatment. From what you have posted I'd say you have every right to file a formal complaint against that quack with your state medical board. And don't hesitate to give him bad reviews on any web site you can find. Other patients will benefit enormously from being warned about this jerk.This doctor is doing wrong on several levels and needs to be stopped. He sounds like a very insecure, arrogant, rude and perhaps overworked physician. It's just a matter of time before he does real harm, if he hasn't already. If he tries to damage you further by trying to get other doctors to blacklist you, hire a good lawyer on contingency and sue the hell out of him. I bet this is not the first time this doctor has had problems with patients.

Good luck to you going forward. And enjoy that new ]red walker.

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Enjoy your new freedom, love that you call it an ATV. You did well against that bully of a doctor, glad you got a rep who was willing to be real with you.  It is hard to find a good advocate. And the novel was readable so that is what is important in the Blog Community and I am sure people can relate to what you have been through.

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Hang in there. I think the most telling quote was the one about the pee cups. How much do those little buggers cost anyway?! Pennies? That was on the edge of insanity! He could go broke if he had to writte up pee cups as a business expense. OMG. I would be tempted to bring filled cups and leave them on his desk with a sweet note. Glad you rewarded yourself in the end for putting up with him. There are jerks everywhere, no matter what the profession. Dad always told me that there was one in every crowd, to be prepared, and not let them fluff your feathers. Sometimes i think there are more in the doctoring field and i hold medical schools responsible for letting docs think they are better than their patients instead of equal to. This doc clearly has some issues that need to be addressed. He picked on the wrong puppy and thank you for standing up on the behalf of the rest of us who have been mistreated.

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Thanks everyone for the support and understanding. It means so much to me. I often feel so alone in all of this all of the time. Thanks again for listening and sharing.

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