Still Smiling
Well I finally decided to update my profile picture since 2008 lol I just took that photo today. The other day I was going through some sadness. It was like I finally stopped worrying about the psychological issues I've been going through and suddenly my mind went back to "woe is me I had a stroke." I don't know why but I suddenly felt so inadequate. I felt like I may never be a good enough wife or mother because of my limitations, I may never have the career I want because of my limitations. I just felt frustrated in general, tired of struggling to do things with one hand after all these years, tired of wearing the same shoes every day because my brace wont fit in anything else. Tired of living in poverty, having to worry about discrimination every time I apply for a job because I am a black disabled woman. I just felt so overwhelmed and inadequate.
Luckily my therapist came over the following day. She really helped me feel a little bit better and gave me an exercise to do for next week when we meet. I am glad I noticed my sadness and talked about it and calmed down before it turned into depression or got worse. I did not get the job at the library that I interviewed for but it's okay. I was more than qualified, I passed all of the tests the committee gave me after the interview, and I followed up with a thank you letter. But I'm still smiling. My family is in good health, I'm in good health, and I really want to do more traveling this year so I am just going to enjoy the free time. My license is still under review but I don't need a license to take a plane, train, or bus to go on trips with my church friends and visit family
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