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live one day at a time



I have been very busy lately too busy to have the time I need to do things at my own pace. I am having to remember I am getting older and need more down time so I have to think of the motto: "Live one day at a time". I understand the necessity for that when I look back at what happened during the week and it is just a blur. That is not the way I should live life at my age, life in the fast lane is for the young who have higher energy levels and a quicker recovery time.


I am supposed to be changing some things in my life so I took on a volunteer job on another site but I can see already that it is not going to work. On here I monitor and comment on the blogs, do the Blog Report, do the chat on Tuesday nights with co-host HostSally. That is probably about eight to ten hours a week. I fit it in when I have the time, early mornings, afternoons, and late at night and that's fine. I cannot fit in another eight hours on another site, I don't know why I thought I could.


My workload at church has been increasing, lots of the older people from our congregations are moving from their own homes into assisted living, hostels and nursing homes, it has been happening all year and as they move they seem to appear on my visiting list. I don't mind the visiting but when you look at ten people to visit once a month at an hour each not a problem, but then add people going to hospital (one hospital is 40 minutes drive away) and that adds hours to the workload. All I do is done as a volunteer, not even the parking fees are paid so money as well as time needed to volunteer for that.


Don't get me wrong, I love the work I do, I enjoy seeing the smile on the person's faces when they settle down for a good old chat and the regret with which they see me leave. I remember so well the gratitude I felt towards the people who visited Ray. He used to sometimes remember those who visited him in hospital but in the nursing home he didn't remember the visitors but the other men in his room did. One would say to me: "Ray had a visitor earlier today, I think he put the card she left in the top drawer." Then I would look for it and find out who the kind person was who had been to visit. It may not have remained for long in his memory but it is still in mine so in a way hospital visiting is just a way of paying it forward for me.


Our new minister is welcomed tomorrow night, the beginning of a new era. I do know him so am pretty sure we will work well together. He will just be settling in when I go on holidays so hopefully that will give him time to organize some changes and I will come back and find the routines changed and be okay with that. Well, that is my thoughts on the matter anyway. A period of adjustment all round I am guessing. I love my church and the people, well most of the people. There are always a few who seem to be out of step but that applies to all the organisations I belong to. Not all people cooperate and not all "pull their weight" as my Dad used to say.


My son rang me tonight. He amused me as he described how he set off the alarm at one of the big complexes he cleans. The code had been changed and unfortunately someone had forgotten to notify his boss, so the cleaning team went in and off went all the bells and whistles, and that whole part of town woke up...chaos ensued. Of course it was nobody's fault, well no-one owned up to being at fault, so the good citizens hopefully turned over in their beds and went back to sleep. A lesson learnt.


I seem to have more and more on my to do list and less time with the shorter days to do it all. I have the potting mix and the pots to repot the bromeliads into smaller clumps so I get the flowers next year and where is the time for that? Rain and wind has taken some of it and other activities have taken the rest. I do so miss someone to work alongside and still think if only I could have Ray back as his old active pre-stroke self, come forward to the age he would have been today how I would love that. We had such plans. Even this far out from his death I still sometimes think that way. Wishful thinking on my part.


And so tomorrow is another day, a day already showing signs of being busy. I love to be busy, not sure like to be too busy. Do I long for days gone by? No I don't. Do I still miss Ray? Yes I do, 44 years of loving and looking after someone is not forgotten. That man is still in my thoughts. I guess he will be for a long time to come.


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You are an angel. William loved the visits that he got in the hospital. The were so important. It is nice that we have volunteers that are so thoughtful.

Take care of yourself.

I do miss chat.


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Sue: been following you on FB as well and yes, Miss, your dance card if full. But I read all that you write and you are finding things so fulfilling and meaningful. I hope you are not exhausted and there is Sue time in there, where you are not "on duty" or helping out.


So looking forward to your European holiday, as I am sure you are. Please let us join you in the excursions! Debbie

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Sue you are wonderful for all you do. I hope you can take some time for yourself.  I know there is a hole in your heart where Ray's presence used to fill and nothing can take his place there because you love and miss him.  I do wish you could find someone who would appreciate some loving care so you would not be alone today.

I am sorry you are so busy but glad you have meaningful experiences.  Yes a vacation may do the trick to revive and refresh your spirit.

Caregivers need a break. you may not be caretaking for Ray anymore but you caretake so many other things. It is so important to find your voice and take care of yourself.

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