fking's Blog

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My Blog 8 November


fking

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Well, I thought about this blog, the long and the short version after talking with my God and my wife and reading my own notes about what it is I want to say....Here goes, my condition is slowly getting worse to a point I can hardly walk, think, or do the things that was once easy for me to accomplish.... I can hardly stand up on my feet from the bed, walking is scary, going to the bathroom, getting up from the commode by myself is truly a task very hard to accomplish now...

 

In a sense I am handicapped beyond my abilities with my left side paralyzed beyond my control so now I stay home all day, daily with the dog and four pups that are growing up fast and waiting to be sold anytime now.... I use my scooter to see after them as best I can because when they get out their area that is the only way I can pick them up to put them back in their play area.... I cannot stoop over when standing with my cane..... I take my reacher to change their pad in their cage and the mamma dog has her own pad to TT on but I take her outside to poop as she loves to ride on my scooter....

l can still drive but don't anymore my wife has to take off for my VA appointments my mind goes on what I'm doing and I can't concentrate fully enough anymore....

 

My yardman had a stroke and was buried on the 5th, he didn't survive so that bothered me too with me telling myself it could have been me since he was only 62 years old in great health.....

 

My knees are the other reason I can't walk very good or much and must use the scooter inside and outside.... My mental mind is affected where I just can't think good with the things I want to do I can't comprehend.... My wife tells me things I just can't remember 5 minutes after she tells me.....

 

There is plenty more I see I made notes about writing but my mind is gone now and I need rest from trying to think what I am doing in the first place.... I am scared if I lay down I may not wake back up so I will just sit up till she comes back from church.... She said I was in no shape to go to church and she would pray for my health with the Pastor of our church....

 

Maybe later I will try again and write more on this blog so pray for me you all I just have lost it for now!!!!!

13 Comments


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Fred :

 

I will be praying for you. Stay strong till then. You are still here for a reason & not as punishment so enjoy each day to fullest.

 

Asha

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Guest lwisman

Posted

Fred,

 

I am so sorry to hear about your problems. Prayers coming you way.

 

Keep the faith.

 

Take care,

Lin

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Hang in there Fred. I have been given hope and inspiration from reading your blogs. I look forward to continuing reading them as I continue to improve.

Prayers for you from Australia

Elizabethc

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Fred,  I found this blog today, and want you to know that your comments have often been so helpful to me as I tried to get used to the forums.

 

It grieves me that you are in this position.   So hope things change for you and your positive attitude will manifest in your own healing as it has for those who have followed you over the years.  God bless and I pray for your healing.

 

I truly need you to get it back.  I rely on your comments as one left sided paralyzed victim to another.  Wish for you to get the train back on track.    Would miss that earnest friendly face in those forums.  May God give you strength to turn it around.

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Fred, you have been such a good example for all the stroke survivors and you can still be that even though you have lost some of your functions.  I wish Larry would try writing or even getting on the computer as you do.  You have been through so much and yet always tell how blessed your are to have your good wife and the good Lord to guide you through life.  Enjoy those puppies.  We have our cats here to entertain and keep us company too. lol

 

Be safe and take care.  

 

Julie

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So sorry to hear how you seem to be going downhill so fast!  I joined this site a couple of months after my stroke 2 years ago. From that time on you have always responded in such a positive manner to all of my postings. Always with a cheerful and helpful attitude. Don't give up has been your mantra------keep that! keep trying and Hang in there! Sending thoughts, hugs and prayers!

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It sounds like you have been stressed about things. Lay your burdens down and rest. We are in God's hands. Accept a bit of help until you get past this. We can tire out more and experience symptoms for a variety of reasons. Maybe a check up may set your mind at ease.

We are here as long as God decides and then we are welcomed home. I know we share similar beliefs.

I am so glad you found a way to voice what is inside. We all share these concerns, experience up and down abilities, and feel a struggle to express. I understand these worries.

Take it one day at a time. You mind may be full of thoughts making it hard to concentrate. I am glad you can talk to God,your wife,and us.

You are in my prayers my friend.

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I can only hope I give you enough thanks and strength to get through all of this. Take one day at a time and rejoice in your family, friends and your faith. In my thoughts and prayers, always. Debbie

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Hi Fred,

Have you thought you might need a few aids that you didn't need in the early years after your stroke eg grab rails in bathroom, bed stick to help you stand up from bed etc. Maybe you should consult an OT with the aim of increasing your independence

Best wishes

Elizabethc

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Thanks to each of you for the wonderful comments and how I made some of you feel better about your own conditions.... I will try to hang on in there a while longer and wait on the Lord to bless me along the rest of journey with a bit more health....

 

Elizabethc, I have had my fair share of OT, PT, and in home services to get me back on track but that has all ended for now but I still use my exercise bike to keep my old joints moving and I still have a few more weeks for the attendance to come in for one hour to help me with my feet and legs but that too will soon end... My insurances says they will end payments to that facility soon...

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