Passing By The Two Year Marker
I ran into my former physical therapist from a year or so ago.She commented on progress she saw,and I told her she was an important person in my life of recovery because she talked about things I was experiencing, believed me,assured me I was not crazy. She encouraged me to walk. I confided in her about my experiences in the nursing home. I told her I now had a patio so I could see the sun and a roommate who did not have the problems the other one did. She noticed I smiled and enjoyed the moment. I explained how she had helped and that she holds a meaningful place in my life,in my recovery. I was happy she saw improvements she said small but a good sign no guarantees but going in the right direction. She listened to me talk about radiotherapy ablation.No she never worked with a participant in that. So I am New. As we talked I felt overcome with melancholy that my time in session will conclude shortly. Not that I am cured, as good as can be,Or not making progress. The final statement from therapist is insurance will not pay forever. Time for home study now. Then maybe later if there is another kind Of need. I have plateaued or did I get a number of sessions and reached a cut off limit? Endings. Fadings. I resist on many levels. I just finally trust and progress. I met many goals.made more.longed for more. I made Routine. I was welcomed and belonged in session. I enjoyed preparations, journeys, recoveries. The rooms, the cafe, Friendship. The applause, fade to black. ACTI done.
You can practice at home. You can at least walk but do not forget too unstable for cane. Ok but am I as good as it gets? Do your homework. But I want gym time. Go find a place to do the exercises. Ok.
I will. Ok. I will track my walking with my fitbit. Seek motivation.
And so went the conversations with my past and present physical therapists, after 9 months of therapy once a week.
I wonder how I will do on my own. I will miss my outings which have become my life.
I feel no great thing here at year 2. It goes on much like before. No miracle. Just slow hard work. I wanted so much more but expected no less. I thought I would have progressed in accomplishment but it has only all been pain management and walking. Yet those are all that matter. And life offers more than I can Suspect. When pain free is highest goal in my life and greatest joy From which all is possible.
I will try not to feel abandoned but feel supportively ready to go.? I will listen to what others say and Hope.and Rest. And watch as my heart's desires Accept contented.
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