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Thinking Back


Pearls

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When I was in the hospital either someone told me I was paralyzed or I overheard it in conversation. I don't know which. I wasn't upset or afraid. i just thought "Now what?" . It wasn't until many days later that reality struck and I began to understand the consequences of paralysis. Then it became a real part of my life. Hmmm. was I in denial or shock? i think it was denial. i argued with a doc that yes I could walk. i insisted I could. i then found out that I couldn't even stand up much less walk. If we continue to see ourselves as mobile and normal in our dreams, then why doesn't the brain get the message? Why didn't I get the message that I was different? Makes you want to get out the super glue and glue all those wires and synapses back together. It sounds simple doesn't it? My therapist used to tell me to talk to my brain and I would have long conversations with my brain. Something must have worked because I can now walk. It isn't a pretty walk but I get from Point A to Point B if it's not too far. Good work Brain.

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I remember my first day in rehab, took 2 therapists, one on each side to get me standing and they had to hold me up or I would end up on the floor like a bag of potatoes. Took a lot of work, both physical and mental to get where I can walk slowly but I can do it. My walking isn't always graceful and my vertical integrity is sometime in question. You had a significant victory, claim it with pride.

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Pearls it says so much that you said NOw What. You were ready for any challenge in life. But this is ridiculous one isn't it. I see myself running, swimming and with long thick hair and a waistline. I cannot begin to imagine the healing that went on during the span of time that I could not sit up without falling over to now I toddle around with two fingers holding me up. But I am in shock the healing stopped there. Or it is only slower now. But wow what an amaziang thing to relearn. Pearls I forget to look at it like this. But yes why is it taking so long to walk and run like before. In my mind

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