Why Do I Feel Like I'm In This Alone??
When we moved to Arizona four years ago, I thought we were going to have a nice small house in a quiet suburb with a pool in the back yard, where I could get out and swim while Gary napped. Because of tightened banking regulations after the Wall Street disaster, I couldn't sign for the loan using Gary's Power of Attorney, so the whole deal fell through. As a result, we ended up having to find something we could pay cash for and get into quick, after being cramped in a small hotel room with limited handicap accommodations. Our son, Dan, found this place for us in a senior mobile home park located at the edge of Scottsdale, near the Tempe/Mesa borders. It's close to everything, and most days if I have to get out for anything, I don't have to drive more than a couple miles in any direction. We were told everything here was handicap accessible, but their idea of accessible meant we didn't have to go up any steps to get to anything. The bathrooms at the clubhouse and pool buildings may have grab bars and slightly larger stalls, but they are not accessible for someone in a wheelchair who can't stand up and walk into the stall and definitely there is no "Family" bathroom that I could go into with Gary to help him, and he can't transfer to a toilet without assistance or even hold a urinal by himself - so bathroom access for us in the park facilities is nonexistent.
We have managed to attend some of the Friday night socials, as long as we could get there early enough to get a corner table just inside the door. That way if Gary had to go to the bathroom, we could get him out quick and rush home to use our own bathroom. On nights that the corner tables were already taken, we left much earlier and had to work our way through a crowded dance floor to get to the exit and make sure we got him home in time. Even after the park did some "fixing up" or what they called remodeling, nothing changed as far as accessibility. They don't want to spend the money for something like that, same as when they resurfaced both pools but didn't bother to redo the steps to make it easier for elderly with arthritis to get in and out of the pool, let alone add a lift for someone in a wheelchair to access the pool. Yet, every year they raise our lot rent.
With the return of our winter residents, new rules are now in place. Supposedly because they had to purchase a liquor license in order to have the bar at the socials, I am no longer going to be allowed to bring Gary's thickened juice in to the dinners with us. I will have to buy his cranberry juice and bottled water there, sit at the table and mix the thickener in it (which is much easier to mix at home over the sink because it's messy), and then it's questionable whether I will be able to pour it into his sippy bottle for him to be able to use himself, instead of me having to hold a cup for him (with his lack of motor control with his "good" hand). I've taken his thickened juice through airport security and not had a problem, into restaurants that serve liquor and not had a problem, but now our local clubhouse social will be making it a problem. Maybe it's their way of saying "we're not welcome there." I'm thinking maybe we should go where we don't have that problem, but it's frustrating knowing how much lot rent we pay here and that we can't have the accommodations we need right here in our own park. Some days it's just not worth the fight!
I guess we'll start looking for better things to do with our Friday nights!
Sarah
10 Comments
Recommended Comments