still at it with Dan--- has been refusing all medications for weeks and He will go 5 days eat nothing drink nothing than have a day where his mood is better and he will decide to eat and drink. Then the next morning it is right back to his "death march". This is a absolute compulsion, he has no control over, knowing that doesn't help.
It is a exhausting mental roller coaster. The youngest daughter Beth - is so heartbroken and over stressed. As a family - mostly Beth and myself we have made sure Dan has made it to mass every Saturday evening . This weekend we all have other plans. The kind of plans that don't involve Dan - unfortunately - I hate to write that but taking Dan anywhere has become taxing emotionally. We need a break.
Dan is cognizant, even polite ( except about his acceptance about no church this Saturday )-- I feel like part of this is his need to control, and another part is his sincere wish for his life to be finished. For him he feels he has no quality of life left. I agree with him from his point of view - knowing him to have been such a physically active and driven person. From my point of view - he has family who loves him, wants him. But continuing to dance to his tune has been a arduous journey, with not much of a quality of life for his family either. I surely thought our Stroke Journey would have been a better journey- it's not ---- not for him, not for me and not for his family. The depression the stroke has gifted everyone with is astounding, and not in a good way. Thanks everyone for your support.