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dancing nancy bear

nancyl

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I'm still here... no real changes... the nursing home makes a vague effort to try to assist more... but dan does a god job with his OCD and control mechanisms .....so i keep dancing... Nancy the dancing bear...lol.....My routine is the same , get up take grandson to school (for now - my daughter works early and his dad fell and broke his hip at christmas, had a replacement done - is on the mend.) drop him off, go to work. work till noon, get dan his mc donalds ( i give up fighting about his food) get him up, wash him up ( unless its a shower day - 2x per week ) then he will either sit up for a time and play checkers on his iPad and watch tv or i will take him to my work (I work as a law assistant , it is part of my low pay, but freedom benefits agreement i got with the boss) he'll hang out if he comes to work with me. Then we either get mc donalds and go to my daughters house or back to the home. If we go to daughters house i cook there and he eats there. then back to the home where i wash him up and get him into bed.....then i either go home or once in awhile go out to my local hang out ( bar) have a few and go home... thats my life in a nut shell-- for now I seem to be able to manage.... my anxiety and depression is sorta under control--- but I still lie awake with the what ifs of the world... thus the reason Im posting on stroke net at 3 am.... lol--- I play with the idea of caring for him at home ( mine again) but know although it makes great financial sense it makes no mental health sense . Dan has the capability still to mentally devastate me. ... and thats a road i can not walk...... old timers on here remember that... lol.... life is manageable, not good or great , or fun , or full filling, but it is fine line manageable..... or as everyones favorite saying ------ IT IS WHAT IT Is.....

 



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Nancy,

 I am in awe with everything you do. It's a Mothers job to help out with our children but yikes. Just asking, does your daughter or SIL know anyone else who can chip in with help? I mean I know your grandson is your heart, as I know once I have Grandkids they would be mine, but my goodness. you have enough on your plate. I'm sorry SIL had hip issues.. not fun.

 

I can only offer my understanding of reading others on here , over the years, who struggle with having a spouse in nursing home or of the like, talk about being conflicted home or there. I can understand why. You love him. Some people don't understand that.. I mean, lets say he was home.. your stress levels would be above normal and his care would only bring, I know for me, would cause me to skirt the line of abuse. ( not physical but verbal)  Just keeping it real. I saw my parents care for my grandmother (mothers mom) after her stroke ( relationship wasn't good to being with. was Christian Scientist so no medical care before or after and my mom is a nurse..  . long story) No abuse or anything but guilt and exhaustion and frustration. 

I'm very sorry you have to ride this ride until your sil gets well again..  Your boss is a godsend.  You are loved be me and all here.  Please find time, guilt-free for you!!

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Kelli got it right, guilt, exhaustion, frustration, and maybe mental breakdown. I used to look at Ray and wanted so much to take him home but then remembered that he was there because he NEEDED to be there. Drop the guilt if you can, concentrate on enjoying the moment. (((hugs)))

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Durn, Nancy, that place should be paying YOU, since you seem to be working there.  ?    It would appear you are too stubborn (at trying to be everything to everyone) to just say no, so at the time I'm reading this, I'm praying the hip is about ready to take over the extra work you're doing because of that fall.

Love you, kiddo.

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