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It was a hard month

swilkinson

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Sometimes I take the hard decisions and accompany someone on the journey to death. It is something that I was trained to do as part of my Chaplaincy training. This time it was more difficult though as it was someone I knew well, the man I went out with for a while. Lyn and I broke up in November 2016 and four months later started a friendship that lasted till last Thursday when he died. He had twelve weeks in hospital and it was hard to see him slowly deteriorate and probably during the last two weeks the quality of life was no longer there. 

 

I will really miss him, he was a great conversationalist and we talked for hours over cups of tea and across cafe tables. Once I accepted that friendship was all he could manage because of his ill health we became the best of friends and I am going to miss him a lot. The funeral is on Friday. I have met all but one of his children and step children so will  feel comfortable being there. I do go to a lot of funerals anyway but the closer I am to the person the harder it is for me to not be an emotional mess.

 

Apart from that I have been doing some gardening, preparing for summer by doing a little Spring cleaning. This week I have Trevor and Alice visiting so we have been out most days. Alice loves going to the beach

even though the weather is still cool and the ocean temperature cold she has been in doing her version of swimming. Today we went to an area with a children's wading pool and she loved it, she palled up with a girl her own age and they ran around together, a great way to burn energy and keep warm.

 

Yesterday we spent the day with Pam and her three children and it was great to seen the four of them playing  together. The boys play games Alice can join in and understand with her being so much younger they have to be gentle with her. I think being with cousins is a great thing for Alice. Unfortunately with major exams ahead for Christopher and much to do Shirley and family won't be coming down before Trev and Alice go home. A pity as she enjoys their company too. I may see them next week.

 

The country is still very dry, Trev said kangaroos, emus, goats and cattle are competing for what little grass there is and carcasses litter the roads. Drought is heartbreaking for all our country farmers and my Lions Club among many others is collecting money and goods to send to the country to support farmers and their families. It is probably too little, too late but we need to show them we care about what is happening to them. After all we really do rely on the farmers for the food we eat and some of the materials for the  clothes we wear etc.

 

The year is flying  by already people are asking about my plans for Christmas. I never know what I am doing this far ahead. Shirley is not moving for at least another year so that is good. I will probably spend Christmas with her family. There is a lot to get through before then. I hesitate to make plans, in the past so many things have gone wrong that for me planning too far ahead seems crazy. Just have to wait and see what happens.



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Sue :

 

I am so sorry for your loss. you have to be like doctor & not get attached to any of their patient, I know its hard thing to do. I am so glad you had great friendship with Lyn., after Ray passed away. We all need some good friend we can hang out & can tell each other all of our emotions, fears everything. I am still searching for that in someone. I think I am looking for good girlfriend I can talk to & get guidance from without any judgement  & honest feedback on how to improve my life so that it feels more meaningful.

Asha

 

 

 

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Sue I am so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you and your friend Lyn were a great support for each other. I truly look up to you and your selfless deeds. You are special Sue. Much love.

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Sue, I’m sure his children would have really appreciated you being there, when you were needed most.

 

God certainly knows what we can handle, and who we need to be with when the going gets tough.

 

I hope the funeral wasn’t too painful for you, but more a celebration of his life.

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