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Thankfully very few changes

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swilkinson

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I have a lot to be thankful for. My daughter Shirley took me to see the specialist in Sydney today. Luckily the heat of yesterday was replaced by  drizzly rain but as  usual that just made the traffic worse and so our two  hour journey took half an hour longer. I know why I love my part of the coast so much, it is because  I would  much rather listen to the sound of waves rolling in to shore than the sound of squealing  brakes and the horns of  impatient drivers. Or park by the lake instead of trying to find a parking spot among the high rise city buildings.

 

I have several tasks to do when I get there. I filled in the research paper I usually do on my post operation feelings which becomes part of a national survey, then I was interviewed by one of the associates which is part of their training and then I can see the Professor herself. It seems there is not any sign of further melanomas, no signs of secondaries. I do have some age related problems which the young doctor explained but these can be seen to one at a time. I don't have to see the specialist again for twelve months pending two more tests to come, one a biopsy and in March there is the brain scan and the visit to the neurosurgeon.

 

I am  so grateful for everyone's prayers. It was a tiring day but just to know I have passed the first year without a recurrence of the melanoma and no secondary sites is a great relief. I still will have some residual pain from nerves damaged during the operation but that is a small price to pay. I have been given another year and will make the most of it. My word for this year is enjoy and so far there have been few days I haven't enjoyed. My life may be shortened by this past year's troubles but it is still a good life.

 

The week leading up to today was busy with all the tests but even then it was an interesting week. After one of the tests a woman friend picked me up and we went to lunch, a thoughtful gesture on her part. I am blessed with good friends. I don't have family close but Shirley is only and hour and a half away. I also had lunch out with my ex-daughter-in-law and caught up with her news. She is the mother of my grandchildren who live in Adelaide with my son and his new partner. 

 

I am lonely still, really no getting around that. I have plenty to keep me busy, I have friends locally I can connect with as I do, but when Ray died the centre went out of my world. But we widows and widowers just have to rebuild our lives and I have done that. Like any rebuild it includes things from the past as well as relationships which are more recent. The friends I have now are from different parts of my journey. It is inevitable that relationships change when your partner's dies and some friends drift away and new friends take their place. And of course at my age many older friends die.

 

It was nice to have my daughter stay overnight and to and from Sydney we talk of so many things. She told me she now uses a lot of the sayings she heard from me and her father and her kids say: "where did that come from?" It is good to have a laugh together. I know she is busy and am glad she feels she can spend the time with me. It means a lot to me. Now it is onwards and upwards. No, I am not fixed or cured or guaranteed a future but for now I have a good feeling about the year ahead of me.

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Sue :

 

I am glad all is well with your recent visit with specialist. you  have changed  so much in me reading your blog journey. I no longer feel depressed  while reading your blogs, but feel uplifted by seeing your fighter spirit.   I feel you are mastering skill of going with flow now. I guess you always had that spirit in you, which came in forefront now when you handling your physical troubles bravely. you  know need to find this site was sad event for me, but my life is so much richer due to people I met  met here.

 

Asha

 

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ASHA, going through the last year of uncertainty has not been easy for me. I felt as if my life was on the line. Then there were all the deaths through the year, I got sadder with each person that passed. Of course we do expect our older friends to get incapacitated, even to die but in reality this robs us of their support and guidance in our lives. Life can be sad when you are older. But I try not to dwell on that now but to enjoy each day.

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