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We Never Stop Worrying

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SarahR

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It's funny how we never stop worrying about our kids, even though they have their own separate lives and have not lived under our roof in years.   Our oldest son had his back problems and underwent surgery back in December, went through a painful rehab process and we worried that he would end up on disability as it took a long time for him to be able to even walk without a walker.  He wasn't sure he would be able to go back to work again, especially since his employer at the time was moving out of state and he'd have to look for another job.   It's not easy switching jobs once you turn 50 and have had health issues, but he lucked out and got a really good job.   He's been training in Chicago and is now back home in Colorado while his wife is going through some serious health issues.   She just underwent surgery on Friday after a routine colonoscopy revealed a malignant tumor.   She's doing well after surgery but won't have results of latest biopsy till next week some time.  If anyone can beat it, it would be her - - she's a tough cookie, but that doesn't mean we don't worry about her and our son.   His new boss gave him the time off to be home with her  through the surgery and some of the recovery, but I'm sure he'll have to head back to Chicago to finish his training.    I'm feeling like I should be there to help out, but can't even make the trip to Colorado unless I have someone along to help with Gary - between a rock and hard place on that one!    Our caregiver, Carmen was going to be away to CA for 3-4 weeks, and now it's going on more like 5 weeks and she's not coming back until around the 20th, which means I will have gone nearly six weeks without help...........ugh!!

 

Sarah

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oh man Sarah :

 

hope his wife's parents can help them out till you get your caregiver back so that you can eventually help them out . Change is scary thing, but sometime really amazing thing comes out of drastic change in your life, I am so happy for your son, he got better opportunity & hopefully his wife will feel better soon too.

 

Asha

 

 

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Asha,  Her mother is in S. Dakota and just had back surgery, so not able to travel.  

 

Sarah

 

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Sarah, as you and I know we cannot always be there to help our kids. The priority is  different when you are a caregiver. You want to be the one they can rely on but your circumstances make it impossible. I hope you can come to terms with that. You are a good wife and mother and a good friend to many. (((hugs))).

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Sarah you would love to be there and offer physical support, but it is not possible so send your love and best wishes and know that they know you would do more.  But right now if you tried to go you would be more burden than help so don't beat yourself up.

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A mothers job is never done and worrying shows how much of a good parent you are 🙂

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Just a quick update:   Daughter-in-law is back in surgery again this morning - after a week in hospital and trying to recover from surgery to remove part of colon and surrounding lymph nodes, she had rough time. ...  Couldn't pass solids through the intestines - and after x-rays showed twisting and blockage they decided to go in again and try to clear the blockage.   She will be in surgery for several hours and we won't know more for at least 4 hours.   Prayers still welcome!

 

Thanks,

Sarah

 

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Daughter in law had rough night after 2nd surgery (to remove blockage), and they moved her to ICU this morning after blood pressure shot up.   She's heavily sedated and on IV with antibiotics and fluids and fighting septic shock.   Son is really worried.   Wish I could get away but not possible right now.   Will update if anything changes!

 

Sarah

 

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Sarah, it is really hard when you want to do something but can't because you are a caregiver. I have been in those circumstances too. Just keep in touch and support them both as much as you can from a distance.

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Sending prayers for a miracle and comfort for you. It is hard to be at a distance during illness. Your compassion shines through to son now. Be at ease that your Gary needs you more now and be assured that son has support where he is. While it is not a mothers touch he still knows you support him and DIL right now.

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prayers for your son & daughter in law Sarah, I know it is so hard not being with our kids when they need us most but God will provide them support through good network of doctors, nurses & friends & other family members.

 

we all are paying for your son's family too

 

Asha

 

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Oh Sarah, what a worrying time for you.

 

Much love and many prayers for the family.

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