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GUILTY


Willis

3,787 views

I feel bad that this is not more troubling to me. I hope of course it doesn't touch me or family and friend but it is more interesting to me than frightening right now. It's in Michigan and spreading now. I'm doing all the things my government is telling me to do or not do. Shelter in place? Yeah been pretty much doing that for 5 years. I've got that down. My brain bleed left my left side pretty much disabled. I have mobility but very little sensation. I can limp around and "leftie" is using his left arm and hand more all the time. Especially on good days. I came out of it very lucky. I say this because I read of so many other members that are dealing with multiple issues caused by their strokes. Frankly I don't know how you do it or where you find the strength. I don't think I'm strong enough to fight through things like they do. So I guess what it is, my world was turned upside down for good 5 years ago and this crap doesn't change much for me Everyone shelter, wash those hands and stay safe 

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There isn't much we can do apart from self isolating. I am doing that because of a recent operation with following complications so I am on antibiotics. I have enough food etc for probably the next two weeks and will then have to go,out seeking more. Being 70+ I am in the endangered group but having faith in myself think if I wash my hands etc I will be fine. You take care of yourself and we'll both survive till the next Big Thing.

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Yes Susan at 69 I get to be in that group. The side issues that many deal with like operations, infections and all the complications our damage can cause doesn't seem fair. The worst of it for me is the dizziness that seems present so often but other than the inability to sit comfortably for long is the worst of it. The fatique seems to be easing some too. Kind of hard to whine about any of that compared to others though. It's not fair (as none of this ever seems) that anyone would have to deal with more than the life changing devastation of their stroke. Yet so many are. They give a weak person like me strength everyday. The next Big Thing is so right. I had watched and ended up purchasing a Public TV program titled "Influenza 1918" about a decade ago. The similarities are interesting. Mother Nature/God has a way thinning out her spices ever once in awhile and us super humans think we can stop her. I think God is humored by mankind from time to time myself. Stay safe and err on the side of caution until this passes. Wil

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Wil I totally get you about being worried but not worried. 

 

As a collective, we have have survived stroke  (surviving stroke ) and dealing with the many issues that relate to that.

 

I'm worried, but not like I was when I first became disabled. 

 

 

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In a nutshell GreenQueen. Worried sure but after getting slapped around by life all of a sudden and for many of us it came as a shock this pales in my book. My wife and I are hanging out at our home in the country and getting outdoors and putzing around the property as the spring weather allows. A few acres give us more than enough to keep us busy and it's getting warmer all the time. What is it about yard work and an ice cold beer? It's like a hand in glove. 😊  I guess things are leveling off a bit if we can believe the media. I sure hope so. I'm a bit concerned about a 2nd wave next fall. This is what happened in 1918 with the Influenza pandemic. It came back with a vengeance after going away in the summer briefly. Hoping all are safe and sheltered safely. We have an advantage here for a change.

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Yes this stay at home thing is much less of a shock for those of us who've already had to do it once. Fingers crossed the world learns from this. but I'm not very hopeful human beings as a collective are very slow learners.

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We really are Heather. If you can find the American Public Television 1 hour special "Influenza 1918" about the flu pandemic you will find the similarities shocking. We learned little and forgot about it quickly when it was gone. Humans? Yes they humor me is my latest catch phrase. With who some think they are and what they think we can control it's actually entertainment for me. I do jn my heart believe that the Who or Whatever is responsible for this beautiful planet looks down and shakes their head in disgust with how it's abused. Stay safe!  

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In my region, there are no known cases.

I'm sure some people are tempted to avoid the rules, such as no non urgent travel.

Lots of people did attempt to go camping but were turned back.

Good.

Complacency now would be a bad thing. 

Staying home can be a little boring, but I'd rather err on the side of caution. 

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Absolutely banjo!

We snuck next door the other day to set up Netflix for them.

They were getting a little sick of tv being all about the rona. 

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As I said to my physio yesterday. We need to obey the spirit of the rules even if we occasionally stretch the letter of them.  Glad you took the time to care for your neighbours.

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Yes Heather, totally worth it.

Our neighbours are the same vintage as my parents.

They are the most amazing neighbours ever, it would be awful to leave them high and dry at a time like this.

 

You know, thinking about it, people accept me as I am these days.

 

Awesome.  I love it.

 

Except, everyone tends to forget that a lot of tasks are impossible for me now, or take so much out of me that the next few days are a nightmare. 

 

It's all good, they don't live my life.  But I do think that living the way we do makes us more empathetic to the plight of others. 

💚

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you do for your neighbours what you hope someone is doing for your parents when you can't be there. We do what we can that's why we are survivors. 💙

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Quick update from Wonky Wil. Staying busy outdoors on the gorgeous Michigan days with numerous chores around the acreage. April being retired now is awesome. She's a 102 pound outdoor dynamo. 5 years younger so a bit more energy too. Staying in on the not so nice days (rain the last 2) but keeping my promise to myself to ride the recumbent bike and lift when I do. It always makes me feel good when I keep my promises to myself. Ok time to move me self closer to that bike for a 15 minute ride. Last day of the month, big excitement because after I'm done I will total my miles for April & compare them to March which I rode a total of 44.8 miles. I have no idea what to expect because I have had a few more "outdoor" days this month and skip riding on those days. I did however kick the resistance level up another notch and that added distance to the 3 five minute sessions I ride. Dragging this numb left arm and leg over to the bike, strapping on the headphones and shuffling my iTunes library. Wish me luck! 😥    

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Done. Bring on May. 43 total miles for April, not bad. More than I thought I would see considering how often I was able to skip the indoor exercise and work around the property. Plans for the mostly sunny and 60ish temps for Friday. My apple trees need pruning and I want to get set up for composting again. Not going anywhere unless I get up early with April and ride to the grocery store with her. Then I would take a couple empty 5 gallon gas cans and fill them at these low prices. My money is on wishing her a safe trip and rolling over and going back to sleep.  😴  Be safe everyone.   

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Kudos for April exercise Willis!! You did well.

For some reason I thought you were Florida, maybe that's Wil2. 

Michigan is cold, right?

Heaps of wind off that lake...can't remember it's name. Ontario maybe?

 

Yep. I'd stay in bed too!

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Hi GreenQueen! Yes that is Wil2 who is about 2,000 miles south of me in Florida. It does get cold here and our 3 months of winter December, January and February. We get all 4 seasons in Michigan. Ontario is one of the 5 Great Lakes as they are called. We are technically a peninsula. They are all very beautiful and what we like is they are all fresh water lakes. A bit different than swimming in salt water. Hey I saw a comment about not being able to exercise because of I thought it was balance or possibly paralysis? I just want to tell you my recumbent bike has a stirrup across both pedals so my numb left leg  is "locked in" even if it is not a willing participant it will be moving up and down! Also I'm in a seat with a back on it. It is the only way I can pull this off. After I got back home from rehab and all I thought I might be able to ride my bicycle again but after just straddling it and standing there I knew that was a bad idea. As far as the little bit of weight lifting I try to do that is one of those cabled weight machines where you can add and subtract weight to it but the weights all are connect and follow a path so I can't drop anything. I had both machines before my stroke and tried to use them often to keep myself fit enough to continue playing ice hockey back then. Never realizing what else they would be used fo someday. Hope this helps.      

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Ok what's that saying? The best laid plans of mice and men...... After all that bluster about my bike and lifting and outdoors and bring on May last Thursday I hit that stroke wall Friday. I took the pole trimmer, lopers and hand snips down by the apple trees Friday and did manage to give one of them a pruning but man you would have thought I had just put myself through football practice. So only one of the 3 trees got trimmed and nothing happened on the compost. I even managed a shower when I came in the house but crap that is so hard and frustrating at times. Gave myself what I call a "ZERO" day Saturday, no outside & no exercise. Sunday outside, Monday "ZERO" day but showered. I get feeling strong like that and it's almost like pre-stroke and can never remember that it won't last and I will be paying a price. So as I sit here Wednesday afternoon I have rode the bike 1 whole time in May, yesterday and when I finish this I'm going to ride it. I always hope these reports help someone in some small way. Be well my mates.

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Oh Will, bugger and it does eventually sink in that you can't do that without paying for it (or so I keep hoping)  Although I haven't hit the wall that badly for a while. so maybe I am learning to pace myself. Take care and be kind to yourself. Learning to leave a job half done is a skill.

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Good thought because it is always better to walk away and go back. to the task and do it right. The worst is doing it half-assed and having to go back and do whatever all over again. Yes I have noticed a difference in how many days I can string together now as compared to before. It use to be one on then one day off. Good thing to know for any of you newbies seeing this. Thanks Heather! I am getting better and hardly ever let it get to me when these "stroke" things happen because I understand better all the time that it's not our fault It's the damaged brain trying to function for us the best it can.  

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Hey Willis!!

Part of the problem could be your AGE!!

Happy 70th birthday!!

You are officially in the 70s club!!

 

It's very unfortunate when the list on the fridge doesn't match the list the body is able to complete!

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7 hours ago, GreenQueen said:

Hey Willis!!

Part of the problem could be your AGE!!

Happy 70th birthday!!

You are officially in the 70s club!!

 

It's very unfortunate when the list on the fridge doesn't match the list the body is able to complete!

 

7 hours ago, GreenQueen said:

Hey Willis!!

Part of the problem could be your AGE!!

Happy 70th birthday!!

You are officially in the 70s club!!

 

It's very unfortunate when the list on the fridge doesn't match the list the body is able to complete!

Thank you! You are too sweet! I know Wednesday I thought "70 now what?" lol So glad to have survived and to be here to still enjoy things in life (albeit different things than before) like this group and the wonderful humans here like yourself,

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i will be 71 this coming week. Never truly thought Id make it, but a lot of men in my family didn't.The stroke deficits slow me down less and less and my Pt guy said I am ok to try Pickleball again. I miss doing that, especially in this great weather here in Georgia.

We are also actively looking at downsizing to a sibe story home with adaptive bathroom.That would be excellent.

Life goes on, we went to a religious service that was restricted to 25 people sitting far apart, and saw a friend  just  diagnosed with terminal stage 4 pancreatic cancer.His wife was a wreck and we all felt so badly for them.I offered some consolations and compassion, but it did not feel like near enough.Makes me feel lucky to be surviving.I emailed him afterwards and suggested he watch Dr Brian Weis' videos.          I find them very ecouraging.Stay well all!

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Happy 71st sir. That is great! I know this isn't how either of us envisioned ourselves in our 70's but on the other hand we could probably both list at least 10 past aquaintances who didn't have this privlage. I have a brother-in-law who would be 70 in July but has advanced pancreatic cancer and as of the last few days has been alone (no visitors allowed) in the hospital because of fluid on the heart and lungs. I just wish it would be quick and painless as the chemo has robbed him of any quality of life for over 2 years.

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yes sir! I just tried out and then ordered a recumbent trike for my birthday gift to myself. Cant wait to get out and cruise,My short trial ride on our rails to trails thing was so much fun, and no stress, glad i could comfortably and smoothly ride while steering with my right arm only. Getting the Trident trike...Spike.Now lool\king at helmets.gotta protect what I have left.

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On 4/15/2020 at 9:33 PM, Willis said:

We really are Heather. If you can find the American Public Television 1 hour special "Influenza 1918" about the flu pandemic you will find the similarities shocking. We learned little and forgot about it quickly when it was gone. Humans? Yes they humor me is my latest catch phrase. With who some think they are and what they think we can control it's actually entertainment for me. I do jn my heart believe that the Who or Whatever is responsible for this beautiful planet looks down and shakes their head in disgust with how it's abused. Stay safe!  

watched Contagion last night it is truly the situatuin we are now in.Its  from 2003 on Amazon.Great cast.

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