It's funny how you can remember certain things so easily and block out other things without ever knowing. I have been trying to remember the events of Patrick's stroke, and sometimes it all seems like such blurr. The early memories surrounding the aftermaths of his stroke play in my mind like watching a movie in super fast motion with an occasional second or two in normal play- maybe only remembering the faces of those around me, a word or two, or how the daylight lit a room. I guess my brain was on overload, and these were the things it chose to remember.

I remember the events before the stroke pretty well. I had the day off from work. I had a back ache for some reason, I think I had been wrestling with my son the night before and had pinched a nerve, so I was not feeling particularly spry that day. As a matter of fact, it put me in a downright irritable mood.

I picked up Patrick from work around 4:00pm. I can still remember the song on the radio as we drove along. He asked me to stop at a store along the way so he could make a quick purchase for something he had been wanting. While he was in the store, I sat in the car and waited. I remember moving the car to a parking spot closer to the door and hoping Patrick would see I moved. He found me and got into the car. He told me even after all these years together, he still got nervous when I was in a crappy mood even when I told him that my crappy mood had nothing to do with him. I laughed, and told him that I promised, I was only grumpy because my back was hurting and that he was in no kind of trouble with me.

On our drive home, we discussed that we were both looking forward to watching the season premiere of SURVIVOR- it is our favorite show, and we always write down who are picks for winners are. As the contestants are eliminated each week, we tease each other about who is doing better with their picks.

When we got home, Patrick changed clothes and got into his workout clothes. He kissed me and went downstairs and got on the treadmill. I stayed in the bedroom, took a couple ibuprophen, and layed down on the bed where I fell asleep. That was the last time together before his stroke.

Kristen