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My third Anniversary 2/1/05


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Well today is the third anniversary of my exclusive membership into this elite fun filled club. I stroked three years ago today. I have no memories of the event. I was on morphine and the docs probably could have cut my legs off at the knees and I would have smiled and laughed and drooled. I was on Morphine and very happy with that drug. It was like being at disney without any tickets. The only thing I didn't like about that day was the tube they had crammed down my throat. I remember hearing whomever was in my room leave and I used my right hand and pulled that annoying tube out, but I left it coiled on my chest, in plain view of all who passed my room. The spouse walked in and flipped and screamed for the nurse. I remember the irratation I felt towards him because then the tube was put back down my throat. I had just come out of brain surgery for the Aneurysm and I'm sure the sight of the tube I had pulled out just about set him over the edge. But that was pure me, I didn't like it, I was getting rid of it. When it was removed, although I slurred my words, I was able to convey my fierce anger to the spouse. I know the words hate and disloyal were understood. His sister later told him, she doesn't mean it.... the fact is, I did mean it and I told whoever came into my room how he had flipped and got that tube put back in. He heard it over and over, I could claim it was the morphine, but I won't. I remember the impressions I had laying in that bed with my right hand tied to the bed, my left hand not moving. There was a homeless lady brought into the cancer ward where I had been moved after ICU and I remember one night there was a huge ruckus she caused because she got caught smokin in the bathroom and just about everyone was snuggled in for the night with their tanks of oxygen. I do remember the thought flitting threw my head, wow, I wonder if I'd feel it getting blown up?Then I drifted back off cause the morphine was doing its job. That wasn't the only trouble homeless lady caused. She was trying to use the phone to convince someone to come get her out of there. They refused I guess because she flung the phone at the wall and it was shattered into a million pieces, and they were trying to get her address and the name of the gentleman who brought her in.... She told them, she didn't know his name, she had just let him share her cardboard box cause she was cold

That made my lips twitch into a smile before it turned into a outright laugh that I couldn't stop or control. Then she never stopped talking and muttering, I asked the nurse to put duct tape on her mouth to shut her up or move me. Well I suddenly became the target of her anger, and I thought I had been moved to the phsych ward. I had heard snippets of conversation discussing nursing homes, how the hell did I know where I was? I hadn't even been told I had a stroke yet. I was just biding my time till I could go home I didn't know anything had happened as far as I was concerned, the Aneurysm had been clipped and dealt with and I wanted to go home.

Enough of a jaunt down memory lane.

I'm here, I'm walking and life is good... what more do I need?

Pam

 

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