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WHY BOTHER????

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I am fired up over a post on the board from a newbie about her father.Maybe I have reached a point where my saturation level for the sucky attitudes of family members of stroke survivors has maxed out. I'm tired of hearing the whining how stroke has inconvienced their lives. Now before I get blasted from the other side, I know stroke affects everyone. But as a survivor that lived with that attitude from my X and his parents, I take a huge offense to it and it *beep* me off!

Yes, the stroke affects everyone in a hundred different ways and is a sure fire pain, but bottom line is the simple fact that the survivor never asked for a stroke, the survivor can't shrug their shoulders and walk away from the after affects of their stroke for a short restorative break.

In stroke recovery there is alot of hard work and time needed to recover. Yeah, finding the solution all can live with isn't easy. I know that. But when I hear the "other side" the ones that are not the survivor complaining how it isn't easy or the survivor isn't happy or trying, well HELLO! I want to say in full anger..."Well to bad! So sorry, your life isn't perfect and neatly packaged smooth running machine you are used to. Stroke survivors are human beings! We didn't suddenly turn into lumps of clay that lost all intelligence or thoughts or feelings. we understand the depths of how the family is feeling over what to do now? We have this huge boulder hanging around our necks, dragging us down, lets find the easiest way out to deal with this. One that appears that we are doing all we sincerely can, but in reality, it is just a quick fix that lets us off the hook so we can go back to our lives as soon as we can. In fairness not every family member feels that way, I know this. It is the small percentage that do, that I have a problem with, and I say "Why bother??"

Like I said I may have reached my saturation point. I may no longer be able to stay here and give support to such unworthy specimans of the human race. Because I too have a life to live, a life to get back too. Why bother wasting my time on idiots? Why should I willingly take on these boulders myself?I see it if I can help someone, it is only right the next person step up to the plate and give back what they have taken.

Pam

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Got a new prayer for you Pam:

 

"Lord, give me the strength to put up with the people who are going to p**s me off today."

 

This is not original thought. It is the slogan on a Tshirt I am giving my youngest for his birthday, I bought it today. He too gets impatient with people who seem to have thoughts which are mostly about themselves.

 

Please stay and give us the benefit of your wisdom. And sometimes your more stringent answers to life's "little problems" allow us to see life more in perspective.

 

Sue.

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Pam:

 

I agree with you 100% , but I also agree 100% on what sue said. please stay, don't think of turning your back on others. people whose attitude bothers you, maybe you should ignore thhem(not me though)

 

Asha

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Pam

 

You'd better not leave. I'll hunt you down and bring you back. I know the stresses of your job and understand the occassional flair ups that you and I both have.

 

However, having said that....I believe when we read a post like that one we can't just fixate on the fact that someone had a stroke and get out the pompoms and start cheering. We're more than cheerleaders. We have to also see that the man was elderly, his family was spread out over several states and he's far out from the stroke and still can't talk or eat. He'd need more support than he could possibility get without hands-on help daily for a meaningful recovery (and I felt the daughter knew that). The elderly also have a different view point from a people under 75 and many are ready to let nature take it's course. I went through the process of letting my dad choose not to get treated for cancer....not easy, but in the end he did make the right, dignified choice. Age matters in predicting stroke recovery chances. There are no one-size-fits-all answers for the newbies that come here. When in doubt if we're posting to a particular person on the board or we're posting to someone who wronged us in our own lives, don't reply. Sometimes we need to sit on our feelings for a day or two first.

 

Pam, settle down and go to your corner and wait for the next bell to ring. biggrin.gif

 

Love, ya.... Jean

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sister Pam

 

here is a version of the Serenity Prayer that you might like...

 

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to bury the bodies of the people who p**s me off"

 

either chill out, or start shoveling!

 

sandy giggle.gifgiggle.gifgiggle.gif

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Hi Pam

 

Sent to the corner! Oh my..Oh my. he he he

 

Mam ...you have paid your dues and as such your membership entitles you to get mad, rant n rave all you like.

 

But!.... U know what. The people that are making you mad are most likely not even aware.

 

They tend to be locked up in there little world mostly all by themselves.

 

"Poor me" , "Get otta my way!" and "why can't I park here? Nobody was using the parking space".

 

There's one in every crowd. Don"t let them get to you. Just smile and say "Have a great day". They don't have enough brains to even know that they made your blood pressure go off the scale.

 

Most likely nothing you say or do will cause them to change anyway.

 

People are like web pages. When you encounter a bad one just close it and forget it. There are millions of good ones that you haven't met yet.

 

Smile Pam smile.gif

 

thanks cowgirl

 

Gary

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I agree with all above, and there are some very self centered people in very structured lives....

Sometimes, I let a post lie for awhile and go back and read others replies..to see how others have viewed it.

 

You are to valuable and well liked here to let a "few" get to you..

I like sue's tee shirt and Sandy's serenity prayer...may need to get tee shirts with both printed..

 

and if you have noticed, there are only one or two posts from such people and they are gone.

It's the "family" here that sticks together and welcomes the newbies who are actually looking for support, caring and giving.

I'm with Jean, will help her "hunt" you down..

 

pash.gifpash.gif you help give us courage. Like a wet dog, shake it off and think of your many friends here.

Bonnie

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