I had an occassion today to talk to a person who to me seems to have some slight problems. To hear her speak you would think she was skeletal, laying down writhing in agony and close to death. Instead she is a plump, healthy looking middle aged woman with a healthy head of hair, a lovely complexion and plenty of animation in her facial expressions and body movements There was so much difference between how she described herself as being and how she presented herself that there was no connection between the two images.
I am wondering if this is a perception problem or if it is something deeper like the girls with anorexia who "think they are fat". Do you think there is some pre-determined condition that makes people see themselves as "ill", "permanently damaged", "beyond recovery" and a few other things my friend threw in for good measure today?
I guess I am asking are there "false" measuring sticks and "true" measuring sticks? So some people are convinced they are worse than they are and act accordingly because of how they perceive their condition, rather than how it really is?
And when you are considered "fully recovered" by your doctor or therapists do you need some help in accepting that it really is true, you have been there and done that but now it is all over and you are a recovered stroke survivor. Maybe we need to build some self-assessment skills into the process?
Sue you bring up a very good point. I'm starting a new entry here cause I think there are more then one or two other issues at play here.
To me, it seems that we all make snap judgements about others( and who do we think we are??)
Also, I think some of this has to do with the nature of females in general. True, I'm a female myself but I for one can't stand how most females act or the types of females they are. I cringe when a woman starts talking of needing a man to survive/exist or to just have around to do things that are typically a male thing to do. Or how about the type of female my mother is? The type that thrives on medical conditions of others for drama and excitement in her life? Or the type which sees the world as no one having it as bad as she herself has it. That of course becomes a lack of coping stratigies(sp?) The world over is full of certion human nature and personalaties. Some are born fighters and some are born weak and easily give up. Just as some are extroverts and some introverts.
Also, as in the case of your friend, seems she has a huge self centered need to have sympathy heaped on her, same for some survivors, they want the world at large to give them sympathy cause stroke touched their life. Poor babies , it then becomes all relative and who is to say they don't have it that bad or they have it pretty easy? In my original thought, I was saying I had become tired of hearing some whine because stroke had touched their life and they were missing the point that they still had blessings to count, they hadn't lost everything. Quite possibly I hit a few nerves because most people are comfortable existing on the banks of DA NILE, but I won't go there anymore because it is all relative and I'm not beating my head against the brick wall anymore. They all want to wallow in self pity and depression convincing themselves they have it so bad, let em, it is my choice to ignore them or dismiss them.