That is what it boils down to. We- Grandma most of all- are all at her (the aunt's- I'll call her *B*) mercy right now. Apparently, mercy is in short supply.
I am livid with *B* for the way she is treating my mom, and greatly saddened by the way she has given up on Grandma without even TRYING to get all the facts. She is basing all her opinions of Grandma's recovery on what the INTERN is saying and not even on what the doctor is saying.
My mom, dad and Grandma's sister all believe that she is resonding to them with blinking eyes and hand squeezes. Mom said Grandma seemed to tear up at one point while mom was talking to her. (Mom seems to think that Grandma is in better condition that Patrick was right after his stroke.) The intern is saying all of Grandma's responses are probably just reflex actions and not planned movements. She is merely responding to a voice, blah blah blah. The doctor, however, is saying he believes the stroke is not as severe as he first believed.
*B* seems to want to be a martyr, unwilling to EVEN LISTEN to my dad's, my mom's, or grandma's sister's opinion. Yet, she yelled at them how easy it is for them to go home and how "SHE is the F***ing one stuck dealing with it". CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT! My folks keep trying to giver her advice on what she can do,, and all she does is respond with, "THE LAWS ARE DIFFERENT HERE" before they can even finish the sentence!!! I am being literal here...BEFORE THEY CAN FINISH THE SENTENCE.
My mother worked in the trust department of two different banks for nearly 20 years, you'd think that would hold at least some merit. Nope. My parents were also the the trustees and power of attorney for my great aunt and have lots of experience in who needs to be contacted, what needs to be addressed and what can wait. Does *B* care??? Nope- doesn't want to hear it. HASN'T heard it.
*B* did not even notify grandma's primary care physician for 3 days after the stroke, and yet she was already trying to figure out what utility bills of Grandma's needed to be paid. HUH???? And really, why does it matter since *B* is already looking for a nursing home for Grandma?
I wish *B* would give the power of attorney to my dad who would gladly take over. They would at least see if Grandma could recover enough to be in assisted living.
There is so much more I could say about this situation, but I better stop for now.