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The end of week one of Ray's hospital stay saw very little progress made. He had eight xrays and scans of various kinds to get a diagnosis. The hip joint on the left side, where he already has the hip pinned is cracked across. I guess that means an operation but so far no-one has said they will do it. The orthopaedic specialists will consult tomorrow and I hope one brave one will agree to do the operation.


If Ray cannot have the operation we look at the worse case scenario: Ray spending the rest of his life laying in a bed in a nursing home. Of course if by a miracle he can eventually stand without pain and even take a few small steps I will bring him home. I will not put him in a nursing home unless it is impossible for me to manage him here.


We have got to the stage where friends are rallying round. Some phone calls and a few hospital visitors from Thursday onward started to show us that we are not alone in all of this. The messages from cyberfriends here are much appreciated. Each day I go in to see Ray and say X,Y and Z called and send their best wishes, A,B and C left emails, friends from Strokenet say "hi".


Of course a lot of people want to know if there is anything they can do and with the exception of prayers and good wishes there isn't, but it does help to know that others are thinking of us in this time of struggle. Further down the track I will need people to sit with Ray, maybe pick up groceries or prescriptions or other needs so then I will ask for them to do something specific. In the meantime I tell them visits are much appreciated.


I went out to lunch at our son's place yesterday. I told my daughter-in-law I could only stay an hour or so but three hours went by before I went back to the hospital. Today I went in to visit after going to church and then my sister and her husband came and we came back here for a late lunch. It all helps, both to have someone to discuss things with and also to have the distraction. My sister tells silly jokes with facial expressions and actions and today she managed to make Ray laugh. That alone was worth the visit.


I guess there is a situation now that sounds more serious than some of the ups and downs we have had in the past and people do realise that this is a crisis where their support is needed. I hope the prayers etc continue as I am sure this is the beginning of what will be a trying period for us.


For those of you who were fortunate enough to recover from stroke with a minimum hospital stay and a convalescence at home it must be discouraging to hear of the ups and downs some other survivors and their caregivers have experienced. But that is life. No two strokes the same, everyone recovers at their own pace. And the surviving the experience is what counts.


This period of time we'll get through - with a little help from our friends.

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I almost PMed you tonight when I came on and saw you here. I'm glad I found this blog entry before I did so you didn't have to give me the mini version of how things are going.


You and Ray will continue to be in my thoughts.... and add me to the list of people to want you to say "hi" to Ray.



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Good to hear Ray is having some visitors and friends are calling.


Tell Ray a BIG hello and hugs from me.


You are both in my thoughts and prayers... and hugs for you too ..



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I want to be added too in your lkist of friends who says Hi and bug hug to Ray and you, and since I can't come there to help you out, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and pray to God to give you enough strength to go through this low phase in your life.




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Thank you for updating us in your blog. You and Ray have been on our minds and in our prayers daily. I update Gary daily on what's going on with the stroke survivors and caregivers on the this board, and he asks about you and Ray often.


Take care, my friend, and know that we are all here for you.






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Fingers crossed that the doctors will be able to do the operation and get Ray back on his feet. we are all thinking of you and Ray, stay strong

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Hi Sue,


We are thinking of you both and hoping for the best outcome. I'm hoping Ray's hip will heal without an operation, and that you can get more information soon. Remember that you have a lot of friends praying for you.



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I'm praying and pulling for Ray to get back what he lost in the fall so that he can function again. It's good that it's summer time where you are in getting back and forth to the hospital.


Our roads are icy here and dangerous going since most people can't drive on ice.

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Sue and Ray:


You are both in my prayers for a speedy recovery. Just know that when we are at our weakest point, God IS in complete control of the situation. YES, Sue, you do have a great burden on you but God asks us to 'cast all our cares' upon Him.


I know the power of prayer, because I've seen it and felt it in my life. Both from all the friends on StrokeNet and the people at my church.


I also understand the great stress that you are under, decisions that need to be made concerning Ray's constant care, decisions about a possible nursing home stay, among other things.


When I get 'down in the dumps', I usually read my Bible. After reading, I do feel so much better.


I will keep both of you in my prayers and if I may, I would like to add your name to my Sunday School's Prayer List.


Thanks, keep your chin up, better days ARE just over the horizon.



Denny :hug:

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Sue - just to echo the thoughts above - you and Ray are in our thoughts and prayers.



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Dear Sue,


It's the 24th (barely) there now, and I hope you've had some news about surgery for Ray - and that it was good news. I'm so glad Ray has had some visitors. I think it's easier for folks to visit at the hospital because they know "there is something wrong" when our survivors are hospitalized. When they are home I'm afraid folks just think everything is fine.


I've been praying for you both - for strength for you because it's so exhausting to go back and forth from the hospital in addition to everything else we do - and strength for Ray as he heals. I know there are so many decisions to make, and it is all falling on you.


Try to keep in the day, tomorrow has a way of taking care of itself - even though we think we could control every situation a little better than anybody else!!


Please take care and do keep us posted. We love you both.

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Sue.. I hope you can get some one to do the surgery and the hip will heal properly... I too could not put my hubby in a nursing home unless it was the only resource left.. Don't feel guilty about taking time for yourself as if you are not well you can not take care of Ray either.. I send you hugs and you will be in my thoughts and prayers...


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