Ray is back in the main hospital for a couple of days while his arrhythmia is checked out. It may be nothing major but like arterial fibrillation it is known to throw clots and cause TIAs so they decided to look into it. He had a routine blood pressure and pulse check yesterday and he was way beyond normal. He was taken to the major hospital last night but put into emergency care for 24 hour observation only. If he has a further episode they will re-admit him but this time to coronary care.
Frankly this is very disappointing. He was coming home on Tuesday being declared as fit as they could make him. I am just about over all this and now something else happens. He does have these episodes at home though I always thought it something to do with his diabetes. He gets hot, complains about the heat (this can even be mid-winter) so I take some clothes off him, put the fan on him, give him a drink and within half an hour he is back to normal. Now it seems this is his heart racing and the arrhythmia not the diabetes. Well bless my soul, it's back to the Nurse Susie role again. Would I please buy a thermometer, would I consider a blood pressure machine? NO!!!!
So here I sit, waiting for the hospital to call and tell me what they have decided. I could go in and sit with him and get under everyone's feet but I don't know what good that would do. Last night Ray was in a constant twist, as soon as his heart monitor was connected he took one of the leads off, he said there was a funny beeping sound in his ears. Then he fought the oxygen, said they were trying to burn him up by putting hot air in his lungs. He finally was given something to eat and calmed down.
I think the dementia kicks in whenever he finds himself in a stressful situation and he starts reacting in the way a small confused child would. He reacts to me as if I am doing a lot of this. He doesn't see it as someone trying to help him. Usually if I talk softly to him for a while he will relax and calm down.
At last someone more senior than the trainee doctors in ER came along and laid out a plan of action. Yes, even more medication will fix the problem, and it is this one if it is this and that one if it is that. My mind said :"OH yeah?" in that cynical way long term caregivers have. The question never answered is :" And what will the long term effects of that drug do?". I don't want to learn to live with Ray vomiting, having more severe diarrhoea etc. Been there, done that. Ray is the compliant patient when the important doctor is around. Though he seems to have forgotten ever being hot now.
I came home late and felt like just diving into a deep dark hole. No, this is not depression. At dementia group we had a lecture on the difference between depression and sadness. I guess sadness kicked in because I saw the future again - Ray acting childish, more care issues, more problems, more tests, less time, less money less freedom. And if anyone is wondering as a full-time caregiver, YES, it IS all about me. How I cope determines where Ray spends the rest of his life.
So this is Saturday, end of week seven. And nothing much is sure any more. But with a bit of luck he is back to Woy Woy Rehab, still discharged on Tuesday. I can hope can't I?