Today is one of those days, I don't feel like interacting with anybody, not in person, phone or virtual. I just feel like I'm short on words today.
But I just had an impression strike me and I thought this is a good blog, if I can have enough words and patience in me to blog it.
There are 2 people in my life who are highly intellectual. One I knew pre stroke and never understood him or where he was coming from, the other is also a male that came into my life post stroke and pre stroke I never would have understood him either. My impression is this: both of these men have valued learning things and being highly educated, both happen to be Socialists politically.But both of them have been luke warm fathers. By that I mean not really involved in their kids lives, one was totally non existent in his kids life and the other was there physically but held a standoffish position in his kids lives.
So the question wandered in my mind, did their pursuit of higher learning not give them time for their kids?
I have found myself in hot pursuit of educating myself and reading complex subject matter. I also find myself not very interested in doing things with my kids. My attention span was almost non existent this morning playing easter egg hunt, after the third time I could have cried from boredom, playing with a 7 year old wasn't that challenging after the first time. Pre stroke I would have never lost my enthusiasm for the game, no matter how many times the eggs were in the same exact spots. I just don't have the energy to play pretend to long. So I guess my question really is, by learning more and educating myself, is the line crossed over where I can't be an average mom? Have I pushed myself past the point where I can relate to my child? I understand the concept of no more then 2 games in a row of Candyland, I can only handle so much of that game. I am becoming apathetic to playing with my kids. I have lost the carefree fun inner child it seems. It may just be that I have grown up as has my inner child.