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blood is thicker than....


swilkinson

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We've all seen those movies where the dispatch rider comes onto the scene covered in blood from an arrow wound, gun shot blast etc. That happened here during chat. I was talking to six or more nice people when in comes Ray blood streaming from his arm, across his shirt, down his shorts. That's blood thinners for you, one small knock and it is a blood-stained version of Niagara Falls. I said "be right back" and took a moment or two to staunch the flow, put on a bandaid etc, a few minutes later he was back, small nick below the first aided spot had started another flow! PLEEEZE! the cure is sometimes worse than the disease.

 

All in all a good day though. I finally had a message back from my daughter saying they had only had to deviate once to get around the flooded part of south east Queensland, stopping in Gin Gin instead of Gympie for the night. Now they have picked up Craig's widowed Mum and are taking her with them down to their holiday cottage on the plains of the Snowy Mountains. She will get a change of scenery, some time with her much loved grandchildren and a fresh look at life when she gets back home. We will get to see them after 18th January for a few days.

 

I also had a visit this afternoon from a lady who is one-of-a-kind. At 93 she still has an extensive list of people she visits on behalf of the church. Despite having left the old church we are still on her list so today she brought me some strawberries, an offer to look after Ray "whenever I need it" and her best wishes for the new year. I honestly think there aren't any others like her outside of that generation and when they are gone the world will be a poorer place for their passing.

 

I sometimes wonder where my friends went. When Ray had the major strokes in 1999 we were still working, still in the midst of life, our social network was vast and included many people. I guess, being naive, I thought of them all under the heading of "our friends". Now I know they were just mostly circumstantial acquaintances, work colleagues etc. They were never going to be there for the long haul but I didn't expect them to drop away so fast. Now eight years later I bump into one or two of them occassionally at the shopping centre. They pause with a somewhat panicky look on their faces, have a few minutes of talk and are off quickly, issuing a promise to phone soon and arrange a meeting etc. We all know that is not going to happen , don't we?

 

However we still have a handful of people who like us, are willing to be seen with us etc. They provide a wonderful support network, even if not here all the time when they call I am always pleased. We went out with some of our old church friends yesterday for lunch, just ten of us sat and chatted for a couple of hours. Nothing like that feeling of being with old friends is there? And in some cases as they get frailer it will soon be me visting them in their hostel, nursing home etc. You don't desert those who have been good to you over a long period of time. It may be that we will make other younger friends, or we may not. Who knows what the future will bring?

 

Thanks to all who came to chat today...not a caregiver among them. I do wonder if there is a better time for caregiver chat? But with all our different time zones and all the varied routines that caregivers have, some working, some commuting, some just simply snowed under by the everyday stress of life, we would probably never be able to all get together anyway. I enjoy chat no matter who comes through the "door". And I found out why I didn't hear you all come in. My speakers were turned off. Such a simple thing to disrupt the day eh? So so long, goodbye, see you soon, night , bye for now, toodle loo. It is always good to see you. Remember to drop by next week. Same room, same time, same good time to be had by all.

 

We may not all be blood kin but we are all joined together by this stroke journey we are all on.

 

 

 

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I really enjoyed reading this entry...Somehow, though, when I read that your friend brought you strawberries I just got stuck there. Mmmmmmm fresh strawberries. It's winter here but reading your message makes me think I can taste summer.

 

I like hearing about just the day to day things. I'm going to make an effort to get into chat soon. I so enjoy the "company" of you all and I'd like to get better acquainted.

 

Have a wonderful day!

 

Lorri

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Sue,

 

I can relate to your so called "friends" fading away after Ray's condition. I experienced the same after the death of my first wife. It seemed as though my phone became disconnected and the doorbell no longer worked. Just last evening I went to a meeting with a friend who is going through a very bad medical problem with his wife. He thanked me for the way Lesley and I have remained friends with them. He said everyone else has faded away. It just seems to be the way most folks react to difficult situations.

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Sue,

 

Ray must have looked liked the walking wounded, poor dear. I'm not on prescription blood thinners but do take low-dose aspirin daily. Even with those, I see a difference in my "bleeding"; especially with my diabetic testing. There are times when the tiny pin-prick bleeds profusely.

 

Bless that soul's heart for still visiting with you and even bringing fresh strawberries. It is sad how friends "vanish" after a crisis occurs or a change in the norm.

Is it human nature to have the outlook out of sight, out of mind? I think it is - those who have stuck around since the stroke I hold even dearer to my heart.

 

I always wonder if all of us survivors in the Caregiver Chat scare away the Caregivers from attending. I would hope not as we're all there for each other.

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hi sue,

what a picture you painted of Ray! you know how we sometimes/(in spite of ourselves) laugh when something happens to someone else - and we KNOW it is not funny? i found myself smiling as you described the scene. bad me.

i understand what you mean with the difference in a true friend versus work, community aquaintence etc. i believe some folks just are plain uncomfortable around the sick or people who are different. they like to think it will never happen to them and we remind them that everyone is vulnerable! my own parents have the motto of "out of sight,out of mind" with me.

i have really been wanting to come to your chat and i have just been too strung out and tired, once we get moved i hope to become a more regular chatter in various chats. i learn so much and find real comfort on the site! so, please keep ray away from any sharp or pointy objects. and have a good week cheers! kathy

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