Sometimes as a caregiver I am so smart. Oh yes, I can do anything. And some days in my haste to do that "everything that needs doing" I do something that capitulates me into pain. There is nothing like rushing something to make you forget the principles involved in the process and down you go.

On Monday Ray had a fall. I was making breakfast when I heard a thump! I called out :"Everything ok?" a muffled voice called back: "I don't think so." Sure enough when I went in there was Ray half-way under the bed. Now we have twin beds side by side so I pulled one across, then the other across. Ray was laying almost face down in a heap. So I climbed over the beds and positioned myself behind him. There wasn't much room but I thought it was an easy lift. Not so, it was more of a drag, lift and roll. I guess somewhere during that process I pulled a neck muscle.

The neck was a bit sore but I had other things to do. Ray appeared ok apart from "losing a bit of bark" a long graze on his arm so we cleaned that up and I helped him dress. He said he wasn't dizzy so I don't know what caused the fall. I don't bother analysing it these days he has had so many. We had breakfast and he still wanted to go to Daycare so we made preparations for that. As soon as the bus went I went out to the car and tried to start it. No luck. It seemed like a flat battery. Now I could have called my company that does roadside assist but I decided to take a day off. There is always plenty to do here and I did some of it. It was still raining so the laundry got left out of the schedule. By the time Ray was back I was quite tired.

Trev checked the battery and declared it deceased so on Tuesday morning I got a neighbour to help me fetch another one. Neighbour had a phone call and had to go so I decided I could put the battery in myself. Right??? Of course. Superwoman was still in control. So I picked it up to position it in the cradle. A feeling in my still sore neck went snap! oh oh. A spasm of pain hit. No worries I have a day to get through here, dose up with pain killers and as we say here: "she'll be right!" Driving to craft was a little difficult as I couldn't kinda look back much but it is only a short drive.

Wednesday morning was fine and sunny, first fine day for a week so I got stuck into the work, still a bit of pain from the neck but doses of painkillers and I was fine! So I did some cleaning too, then my stint on Caregiver Chat. I wasn't feeling the best by now but had promised myself the first fine day Iwould clean the ceiling of the shower room. It has a flat roof overhead so gets damp after a long period of rain and mould develops. A long handled flat mop, bleach etc and in a half hour or so it was all fixed bright as new. Boy I can feel some pain though despite the painkillers.

Thursday I am in real pain. The painkillers aren't working so I add some muscle pain relief and rub in a linament as well. There is more work to be done. The show must go on and Ray has to go to the urologist. Driving works if I get him to sight one way and I sight the way my neck can now move only to the right. We get to the specialists rooms, park quite a way away and I push Ray in the wheelchair up a steep incline through the pouring rain. (Caregivers please note this is not the way to operate with pulled muscles.) By the time we have seen the specialists I am in pain and a bit fuzzy from the painkillers etc but managed to drive home.

By the time Trev gets home I am a mess. Ray is oblivious to all of this, there is still a meal cooking, he is watching tv, everything must have seemed okay to him. What could be wrong in his world? Trev orders me into bed. I go to the front room where there is a double bed and some extra room to toss and turn. He brings in a hot water bottle, more painkillers, different ones from his store. He says these ones are better for the muscles Mum. Sleep, turn, sleep, turn, more hot water, more painkillers, more sleep...etc.

Today Trev took the day off work, took me shopping, carried it all to the car, carried it all inside, packed it all away etc.

I feel so much better. It may be the painkillers are working or because I slept so much I am feeling more rested. But I think it is more the fact that for once someone saw my pain and did something about it. That is what is making me feel better. The neck still doesn't turn to the left but the pain in my face and shoulder has gone now and I am sure a few more days and I will be fine.

I think what caregivers need more than anything is someone to acknowledge their pain. I don't mean pity, or sympathy, but the kind of acknowledgement that says: "something needs to be done here". I was lucky enough to have someone do that. And I guess not beng Superwoman is okay, just for a day or two.