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Search has only just begun

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Well I started the search for a place to live, talked to two people today. Could have had one place, but no kids, no Petey the Pom, no kids even overnight for a visit. I thanked her for her time but said I had just started my search and I would keep looking. But I hate the personal invasive questions. It makes me grit my teeth to admit that yes, I am getting a divorce, things didn't work out after 19 years and I left it at that.

 

I refuse to give into the husband bashing. I'd love to tell everyone how he couldn't handle my stroke and the lifestyle change the stroke brought on, I'd love to tell everyone he is a whiner. But it is a small town and I won't. It puts my stomach in knots but I won't run him down only because I have 2 kids that need to live in this town and he hasn't afforded me the same courtesy but it just proves who the better person is.

Winning the personality contest on who is right or wrong doesn't mean a thing to me, I don't care what people think of me. So now we are back to the barn idea sans kitchen and we can skirt the zoning issue. I'm still not sure I've agreed to live in a place with a hot plate, microwave/convection oven, fridge and call it a fair deal. But then my kids can stay with me anytime and I can have Petey the Pom and Stockings the cat. And I don't have anyone to answer to. But the search has just begun, I'll roll with this for a few days and see what comes about. All this waiting things out is getting to be for the birds.

Pam

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pam,

 

i know how painful and depressing divorces are even if you can't stand the person you are leaving. it's a change, and a drastic one especially after so many years. i think the fact that you aren't husband bashing is a good thing especially since there are children involved.

 

it has been difficult over the years for me not to "bash" my step daughter's mom, but i never have, and it has paid off. i wish you the best. i don't sympathize with you, i empathize because i may be looking for a new residence soon myself.

 

my best

kim

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Pam,

 

You are doing the right thing, not husband bashing. Small towns sure do like to spread gossip and little kids have enough to deal with, having their parents separate, without having to deal with people trying to get even more details out of them.

 

If you go back to plan A and do the barn minus a full kitchen, could you make a deal with your husband that you can use the big kitchen when he is not at home so you can do your baking, etc.? You might also consider taking a class in microwave cooking. Don't laugh---you'd be surprised at how much you can actually do in a microwave. Don lived in a house for over 30 years with just a microwave and I tried just about everything in them. Even now, I rarely use my stove top burners.

 

Jean

 

 

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