Stu's Blog

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I've started to dream about work


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In the last few months I've started to dream almost every night. Not weird dreams, but dreams of my old workplace, hey when you spend almost 20 years with a company it rubs off. I don't know why I'm dreaming specifically about the company because they went bankrupt and laid all of us off one warm August day back in 1994. Could it be that I loved the job, the new customers everyday that I came in contact with. Or could it be being welcomed into their homes, the old customers when I went on a service call would make cookies/cakes/snacks and coffee, they treated me like family.

 

Because I've been put on disability and am not allowed to go back to work I've had alot of time to think. I'm sure that all it is that I miss work, I'm too young not to have a job, although I had visions of retiring at 60.

 

It sounds now that I've read this over it's "poor me" and that I'm felling sorry for myself. But that's not the case, I need to feel I guess needed and not having something structured like a job is playing on my mind. Maybe I should checkout volunteering at the Rehab a couple of mornings a week.

 

God just listen to me, I'm rambling but just posting this makes me feel better.

I'll be fine ;) Blogging is therapudic.

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hey stu:

 

finally you listened to me blogging is therupetic indeed. I think having structure in life does give meaning to life. for me right now not starting computer without my exercises is my structure. & can you believe I look forward to finishing them such that I can go online

 

Asha

 

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Hiya Stu,

 

Yes, feeling needed is quite the case with many of us. Volunteering for me has helped fill the empty spot that was left when I had to medically retire after 1-1-05.

 

Volunteering at the local rehab a few mornings a week sounds great. You would be quite an inspiration to other survivors.

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hi stu,

it is so strange to read your blog knowing i do the same thing. i dream about my years (20) working in the human services field....i have deep conversations with past employees and with many family members i worked with. i do this about twice a week. i understand not having a focus (like a job) to help define our days and ourselves.

being useful and contributing is important and if you can volunteer at your local rehab i say go for it! you will get the benefit of doing something useful and needed....plus just think what a role model of hope and recovery you would be for those rehab clients. i think it is a wonderful gift...to give your time. keep us posted. cheers! kathy[/b]

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Stu, it has been nine years sice Ray and I both retired. Sometimes like you I dream about work but it is more of a nightmare, I am always runing round in circles not knowing what to do ( a frequent occurrence in a Social Security ofice). I take it to mean that I can't go back there.

 

I try to keep up a routine for Ray and for me as that becomes a substitute for work. That means though that on Monday I will see one set of folk, Tuesday another, just Ray and I on Wednesday etc. It also means I do see people on a regular basis which is quite pleasant and does result in some friendships. I think we need a wide circle of friends and acquaintances of all sorts to keep going and the confines of stroke survivor/caring for someone with a stroke robs us of that freedom to move in so many circles.

 

Look around and join something like a seniors centre, maybe volunteer wherever there are a lot of people to interact with. I don't know if you have volunteers in schools and hospitals there but both have a lot of workers and other volunteers. I find church, our Lions Club and a couple of other organisations I belong to work for me.

 

Sue.

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hi stu,

it is so strange to read your blog knowing i do the same thing. i dream about my years (20) working in the human services field....i have deep conversations with past employees and with many family members i worked with. i do this about twice a week. i understand not having a focus (like a job) to help define our days and ourselves.

being useful and contributing is important and if you can volunteer at your local rehab i say go for it! you will get the benefit of doing something useful and needed....plus just think what a role model of hope and recovery you would be for those rehab clients. i think it is a wonderful gift...to give your time. keep us posted. cheers! kathy[/b]

 

It's weird, we are setting up the vans to go on the road for the day, restocking parts and such. We talk among ourselves about our runs, what the days going to be like and the weather, also will one of us need help during the day and who's going to do it. Then it switches to when I was warehouse manager, and the conversations we had about stock to order from the Toronto warehouse. These were all very clear conversations, the banter with the salesmen when we talk about new products. Meetings I went to, all so clear. I now know that it's just my memory playing tricks on me, perhaps going back to a happier time maybe.

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