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4 Year Anniversary Today

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givincare

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February 16th is the anniversary date of Patrick's stroke. I have never really known how to properly acknowledge this date. On the one hand I feel like it deserves to be recognized. On the other, it's not really something I want to "celebrate".

 

I know some of you celebrate the anniversary, Jean with her "I survived" parties for Don, and Asha combining it with her Valentines day celebration to name a few. I respect that their stroke anniversaries are remembered in a way that is right for them. I just don't personally feel like this is a day for rejoicing. I think back to this day four years ago and remember fear and anguish. I feel like "the stroke" has taken on a life of it's own, that it is a separate entity, and I wish I had never met it. For me to break out the champagne and balloons just seems like giving it more importance, power, and life than it deserves.

 

I had been pondering the upcoming anniversary for a few days, so I asked Patrick how he felt about it. Was it something that should be celebrated, from a survival aspect? Was it something that should be forgotten? He told me he was glad to be alive and proud of how far he has come in his recovery. But as far as recognizing the date, he really felt nothing about it other than realizing it was the day of his stroke. It neither saddened him or gave him reason for celebration. So that is how the day has went. Neither of us saying anything about it either way.

 

I decided a little while ago that while I don't want to celebrate it, I am going to acknowledge it in a couple of ways: this blog is the first. After trying to decide what I COULD find positive from this day 4 years ago, I realized that I need to celebrate and recognize all the friends and family for the way they have been there for Patrick and I through this whole life change. So,

 

THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING THERE THROUGH THE GOOD, BAD, AND UGLY.

Kristen

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Hi there Kristen...what about me? I mean we met because Ray had a stroke and Patrick had a stroke and we met here. But apart from that we live a world away and would have never met. All of the friends you have made on this site came about because of Patrick being a stroke survivor and you being a caregiver.

 

What about the wisdom you have learned, the patience you have gained and the journey you have been on...there is a lot of value in what you have been through and what you have learned because of that. And also look at the independent person you are now, that might not have happened except for your need to overcome the circumstances. You are a strong woman now, life tried to put you down but like the cream, you rose to the top!

 

So celebrate, on whatever day you choose, not only the stroke anniversary and how Patrick has recovered (driving even!) and who Patrick has become, that dear, living-and-breathing, husband of yours. But also who you have become, oh dear friend of mine.

 

I have so many dates for Ray's five strokes but always think of two important ones, 19th April 1999 when he had the first of two major strokes and September 3rd 1999 the day I officially became his caregiver. We have had our ups and downs in the going on for ten years we have been on this journey but I am always thankful he is still here and we are together...well almost always....lol.

 

(((Hugs))) from Sue.

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Dear Kristen: I am blessed our paths crossed. I know for my Hubby he just doesn't get why I celebrate every milestone in my recovery. Is it because I was a professional clown? Always a reason for clown around. :) I think it is because I was on the death's doorstop and I rose like a Phoenix. or, maybe it makes me happy to celebrate how far I have come. I don't know, no rhyme or reason. Each Survivor knows where they cane from and know how they want to treat the day. Some may think days are one after another, or just numbers. All I know is I like to rejoice as I have no memory from all the time I was in the coma and on life support... I can only go on the days I am living.... I want more days to celebrate. I have daily reminders of what the Beast took from me, but, one thing he can't ever take, my hopes, dreams, my faith in God, and My ability to celebrate. I just keep Believing In Miracles And I Will Continue To SOAR, please give that man of your a big kiss and hug from me, his Stroke Survivor Sister. Love you, Hugs, Keeping you in my prayers. Jan :)

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Sue,

When I wrote this I had YOU and others here in mind-not just family:

 

"After trying to decide what I COULD find positive from this day 4 years ago, I realized that I need to celebrate and recognize all the friends and family for the way they have been there for Patrick and I through this whole life change. So,

 

THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING THERE THROUGH THE GOOD, BAD, AND UGLY."

 

What I have not made clear enough is that my family does not come to this website so does not see this blog. When I said THANK YOU, I truly meant it solely for everyone here. I told my "real time" friends and family THANK YOU separately. Love You All!!!

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Kristen,

 

I look at the stroke anniversary with kinda mixed emotions. Yes my life changed forever. In many ways it changed as well for the good as my family has grown as I consider all here my family. With that in mind I do celebrate the day as stroke did NOT win I'm still here and still kickin - me and my timex.

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Kristen:

 

as all strokes are different so are each of us, for me combining my stroke anniversary to valentine was the best thing I did for myself & my family. No longer I dread those three days where I lost child & suffered stroke. I just remember all the love I felt for my hubby & he felt same love for me. I realized that even in this so called bad experience I found something amazingly positive & I want to celebrate that love, commitment. & hey it's one more anniversary to get wonderful gift :D.

 

I can recite lot of positive experiences came out of stroke, so I celebrate my second chance with best of my ability. Happy 4th Anniversary, you both have come quite far from those initial scary days.

 

Asha

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In my mind the positive thing is the fact that you are still here after 4 years and pray for many more doing what you can do with what you still have left. Being able to continue your life means so much to you and your loved ones.

 

So, you celebrate Life! Not the stroke!

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