“Get over it” how many times have you heard that? Or maybe you have said it, to a child, to a spouse or to a sibling: “Just get over it!”

We went down to visit our daughter and her family on Friday; we were to be there for six days and come home on Thursday. We went with Trev, his fiancée Edie and her son Lucas. We had a good easy trip down and were greeted with love and we had a lovely two days. On Saturday we had a meal fit for a king as my son-in-law is a mighty fine cook, his brother is a chef and he has passed on a lot of tips and so the food was melt-in-your-mouth, wonderful food.

Our other family were supposed to come, had said they were coming but didn’t actually come. It is a long story, you know what families are like sometimes, can’t co-ordinate their dates. So the rest of us got out the gifts and exchanged them and it was really nice to see the kids’ faces light up as they always do. Funny thing is a $1 set of paints was the hit of the day and several kids and a couple of grownups did painting as their after nap activity. Isn’t that always the way? You can buy absolute treasures but it is something commonplace that satisfies.

Ray had been off color for a couple of days and on Thursday the shower nurse pointed out that his left foot didn’t look good around the heel so we left his shoes off all day and it looked better on Friday. But just to be on the safe side I did take him to the doctor who declared it the result of diabetic neuropathy which we know Ray has as a result of his strokes and 20 years as a diabetic.

The problem seemed okay on Saturday and it did not look so bad when I gave him a shower. It was difficult to shower him in a tiny recess with no hand bars or anywhere really to stand. I managed but I must say with my teeth gritted as I showered him with a Tupperware jug in one hand and a bottle of shampoo in the other. I just managed and that was all. So Trev went out to a hardware store and came back with a shower head on a flexible hose and fitted it, bless him, and Sunday's shower was so much easier to do.

We farewelled Trev and family on Sunday morning as Edie had an evening shift that night. The rest of us went to church on Sunday to see the young people do most of the service and our granddaughter played in the Junior Timbrels and with the biggest smile on her face. This time there were cakes and slices as well so Ray really tucked into them. It was a wonder he could fit in the lovely lunch, but he managed.

We had a little nap and then back to the Corps for Christmas Carols and a sausage sizzle with the jumping castle inside as by this time it was raining. Neighbourhood kids came and went, jumping, eating and enjoying it all. It is great that with a little outlay you can give them such a great time. The Salvation Army is known for their work among those less fortunate and this was a great example. Long may it continue to happen.

We were looking forward to the rest of the week and the excitement they had planned for us but Monday morning when I went to shower Ray I noticed he grimaced as he walked and seemed to be walking on tippy toes and then noticed a great blood blister hanging from his heel. Panic stations, as visions of gangrene and surgery and an amputated leg flashed into my mind.

The short version of what followed is that we all agreed we should come home, that day, as soon as Shirley had organized other people to take over her Monday and some of her Tuesday activities. So we did come home, driving through Sydney traffic with a lot of the intersections manned by police officers as traffic lights were out due to a big wind storm the night before. We went straight to the doctor and he said the same as he had on Thursday, diabetic neuropathy, no medication, no cure, maybe a future appointment with a vascular surgeon and for now bed rest, painkillers and an ice pack if needed.

I have had a lot of loss in my life and this was just one more, loss of time with my grandkids. It somehow cut me to the heart and this morning I was crying as I remade our bed yet again because Ray had had an "accident". Ray told me it was all my fault, as he usually does and I should “just get over it”. And I suppose I will, as I have all the other losses and disappointments. But for now I want to just have some time to myself. I need that to get over something like this.

And so what happened today? I was asked to mind my older granddaughter. I suppose that helped, as at least I was able to enjoy her company for four hours while her parents bought last minute Christmas gifts without the children present to see what was being bought. Lukie came over for a while and we played golf on the Wii, a game in which he is the champion and I am the chump. I guess it all helps to alleviate some of the pain. But I’m human and can’t always “just get over it” that quickly.